# If I hear the words "I only date tall guys" one more time... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 29, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498 "2010-07-29T20:22:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/101 "2010-08-02T05:25:54Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@suranyi](#): > > > > The one thing that happened during my dating years that made me really angry was when I signed up for one dating site which shall remain nameless. A few days later I got a message back saying they were refunding my money because they had no women members who would be willing to date a guy as short as me. > > Wow. Seriously. > > You sure you won’t tell us what site that was? I don’t think it exists anymore anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Nunavut\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e95f7d/32.png) [@Nunavut\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunavut_Boy)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/102 "2010-08-02T05:38:05Z")
I’m 6’ tall and I adore women that are taller than me. I don’t know what it is exactly… It’s actually a pretty good deal as many guys are intimidated by tall women and they are often glad for the attention 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/103 "2010-08-02T06:01:02Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > When they’re nose to nose, her toes is in it. To kiss him, she can stand on his erect penis like a cockatiel on his perch. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/104 "2010-08-02T06:16:36Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > The one thing that happened during my dating years that made me really angry was when I signed up for one dating site which shall remain nameless. A few days later I got a message back saying they were refunding my money because they had no women members who would be willing to date a guy as short as me. I think they were doing you a favor, albeit tactlessly. > [@](#): > > I did find that Internet dating sites were not very fruitful for me. At least one place was honest enough to not take your money when it was clear the women were seemingly unwilling to date you. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/105 "2010-08-02T13:50:01Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > > [@dmatsch](#): > > > > I don’t mean any offense by this, but I’m calling bullshit. Women who do the things quoted here don’t exist. Period. > > I don’t know about other women, but I exist and I do this. Believe it or not. I meet a lot of really great guys this way and don’t have to filter out the assholes as much. Women who don’t pay attention to the social dynamics and understand that sometimes the reserved, laid-back guys are the smartest and funniest and awesomest in the room are retarded, but that’s fine. More mens for me. Go ahead, ladies, and chase after that alpha male if you like, but you’ll have a much better batting average if you go for the quiet/shy ones. > > I will give you this, though. I’m 41 and it took me quite a few years of being dissed and ignored by alphas before I figured out that the roads lesser traveled are usually _much_ more interesting. It may be bullshit that most 20-somethings do this, but “women of a certain age” have figured out a thing or two. 😉 I’m 27 and I’ve been doing this since junior high. I thought I was the only one. If there’s a major turn-off I have, it’s arrogance, and I find the quieter guys are the most modest. I love short men. My god, I do. I’m 5’2’’ and my husband is 5’7’‘. Maybe it’s coincidental but every guy I’ve ever had serious feelings for has been short. There was this lovely short Puerto Rican man at the office I worked in a couple years back… he was 5’5’’ at best, and 40 years old. We were both spoken for, so nothing could happen, but we connected on a pretty profound level and in another lifetime we’d definitely be hooking up. I was both sad and relieved when he transferred to another office. Short guys are convenient. I can look into their eyes while I dance, and their bodies fit so perfectly well with mine. I remember dancing with a really tall guy once and he kept complaining I wasn’t looking at him. Jesus Christ, man, I’m not looking at you because it hurts my neck! Short guys just feel more intimate. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/106 "2010-08-02T14:52:37Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > > [@jjimm](#): > > > > Tonight I’m taking out a girl who’s 5’. I think she’s so short she hasn’t noticed my lack of stature yet… > > Well, did it work? Yes indeed. 😃 I realise, re-reading this thread, that she’s the shortest woman _I’ve_ ever been with. The last one was 5’2" and all the ones prior to that ranged from 5’6" to 5’11", so maybe _I’m_ secretly heightist myself. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/107 "2010-08-02T20:41:30Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I’m sure there is something you’re not attracted to and would happily vocalize. It’s clearly not weight, but everyone has something. > > Being attracted to certain things isn’t shallow or self centered, it’s just what attraction is. Sorry. Agreed 100%. It’s disheartening to me to see so many people assign so many negative characteristics to women who just don’t want to date short men. Shallow, superficial, incapable of deep relationships, immature, needy, and a dozen or so other ridiculous accusations. And no, I don’t only date tall guys so it’s not pride talking. People are attracted to certain traits and turned off by others. What you find a dealbreaker may be pretty silly to someone else. People usually have their reasons for feeling the way they do. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/108 "2010-08-02T21:48:57Z")
Come on, there’s a big difference between physical preferences and turning such into absolutes with regard who’ll you’ll even _consider_. I’ve got very particular “types” of women that I’m attracted to, all with certain characteristics in common. But I’ve also found myself attracted to enough people outside those ranges that, empirically, I _know_ it’d be foolish to be so dogmatic about such superficial preferences, never mind the principle of the thing. Dealbreakers should really be reserved for issues you know will be destructive to the relationship: personality traits, life circumstances, history, baggage, etc. If you’re focusing on nonsense like height or bust size, you’re actually probably more likely to end up with a very attractive arsehole. Life has a funny way of teaching you important lessons sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/109 "2010-08-02T21:58:30Z")
Huh. I’m not comfortable saying what other people’s dealbreakers “should” be. Obviously YM does V. While you’re busy telling everyone not to judge books by covers it seems that you are doing that very thing. You’re assigning characteristics to people who have dealbreakers other than what you think they “should” have. Good to know. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/110 "2010-08-02T22:18:44Z")
It’s none of my business, really, if someone wants to needlessly limit themselves or chase after some ideal. But there’s always going to need to be compromise somewhere when it comes to preferences (unless you want to be single forever), so if you’re totally inflexible about what is essentially meaningless to the relationship, you’re going to need to be more flexible on things that really will matter long-term. Not exactly a recipe for success, IMHO. So yeah, “should” as in “should, if you want long-term happiness”. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/111 "2010-08-02T22:26:08Z")
But like somebody said- on a dating website, you’ve got to limit your dating pool down _somehow_. No one here would be rolling their eyes at a woman who puts on her profile that she only dates men with college educations, even though that cuts a lot of surely good men out of the pool. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/112 "2010-08-02T22:41:17Z")
Education represents (to some extent) dedication, commitment and a somewhat broader, more nuanced worldview. (I think the correlation is very weak, but it’s there.) It also suggests a commonality of experience (if you also have a degree) and perhaps a potential for higher wages. Again, how these factors correlate with tertiary education strikes me as weak, but at least it’s a meaningful indicator. What does being tall say about anyone? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/113 "2010-08-02T22:46:46Z")
> [@Lobot](#): > > Education represents (to some extent) dedication, commitment and a somewhat broader, more nuanced worldview. (I think the correlation is very weak, but it’s there.) It also suggests a commonality of experience (if you also have a degree) and perhaps a potential for higher wages. > > Again, how these factors correlate with tertiary education strikes me as weak, but at least it’s a meaningful indicator. > > What does being tall say about anyone? I know plenty of dedicated, committed, worldly, nuanced folks without college degrees who do very well for themselves. Education isn’t everything. How dare you limit perfectly good, hard working men because of some arbitrary bias you have against folks? And one person being tall or short may very well dictate if someone else is attracted to them. So yeah, it can be telling and it’s silly to dismiss attraction. Like I said, you have to limit people on dating websites somehow. I fail to see what’s wrong with mentioning what you are attracted to (height, body size, athletic hobbies vs computers/video games/ those kind of hobbies). ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/114 "2010-08-02T22:50:33Z")
Does physical attraction have to be qualified? Like **Diosa** said, one has to narrow the search in some way. If a woman is only attracted to tall guys or young guys or heavy guys or guys with beards she owes no one any explanation. Same thing for men. Attraction is hard to explain. For you to pretend that is just shallow and means a recipe for no success is really silly. ETA: I have a friend who is 5’8". Kind of tall for a female and she enjoys wearing heels. Some men feel self conscious if their date is taller than they are which was observed earlier in this thread. Some men can get over that, some men can’t. My friend has had more than one guy ask her not to wear heels so he can be taller. Now she looks for guys who are tall to avoid this self consciousness. If she were dating online it would be easier to say that she only dates men over 6 feet than to explain why. Narrowing the field. I’ve never done online dating but I’ve heard a lot of people say that women tend to misrepresent their weight while men misrepresent their height. Perhaps a woman might say “tall men only” the same way many men will say “fit women only.” ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/115 "2010-08-02T23:00:22Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > My friend has had more than one guy ask her not to wear heels so he can be taller. I’m 5’3’‘- I have a guy friend who asks me not to wear heels when we go out because it makes his 5’6’’ self feel uncomfortable. He’s not my boyfriend, I’ve never so much as gone on a date with him, but he really harps on this heel thing and how it makes him feel. See, as I see it, part of the joy of me being so short is that I can comfortably wear crazy high heels without towering over everyone. I mean, I can wear straight up stripper heels and still not tower. But even my 2-3 inch heels make this guy, who says all women should always wear flats (seriously), uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Lobot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@Lobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobot)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/116 "2010-08-02T23:24:02Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I know plenty of dedicated, committed, worldly, nuanced folks without college degrees who do very well for themselves. Education isn’t everything. How dare you limit perfectly good, hard working men because of some arbitrary bias you have against folks? I know many such people, too. I wouldn’t use it as a criterion, but the point is simply that such indicators may actually tell you a little bit about the person beyond what they look like. > [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Does physical attraction have to be qualified? Like **Diosa** said, one has to narrow the search in some way. If a woman is only attracted to tall guys or young guys or heavy guys or guys with beards she owes no one any explanation. Same thing for men. Attraction is hard to explain. For you to pretend that is just shallow and means a recipe for no success is really silly. I don’t expect anyone to date someone they aren’t attracted to. But attraction is more holistic than a set of discrete physical criteria, surely. You can make mental checklists as much as you want, but if you have a thing for beards, don’t be surprised when a clean-shaven guy blows you away. In online dating, this is trickier, I agree. Women get inundated with requests, so you have to be kind of choosy. So filter based on whatever you want. But again, I think it’d be foolish to nix some guy who is below average in height if, when you look more closely, his message/profile/photo seem to suggest someone you might actually be attracted to. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/117 "2010-08-03T00:17:19Z")
> [@Lobot](#): > > I don’t expect anyone to date someone they aren’t attracted to. But attraction is more holistic than a set of discrete physical criteria, surely. You can make mental checklists as much as you want, but if you have a thing for beards, don’t be surprised when a clean-shaven guy blows you away. I agree with this completely. Sometimes you find that you’re attracted to things that make no sense to you based on what you normally prefer. My only issue is that it seems that people are far, far too comfortable to assign negative traits to people who simply do not share their aesthetic or priorities. It’s far more narrow-minded than the people they feel superior to. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/118 "2010-08-03T04:17:53Z")
> [@Lobot](#): > > Education represents (to some extent) dedication, commitment and a somewhat broader, more nuanced worldview. (I think the correlation is very weak, but it’s there.) It also suggests a commonality of experience (if you also have a degree) and perhaps a potential for higher wages. > > Again, how these factors correlate with tertiary education strikes me as weak, but at least it’s a meaningful indicator. > > What does being tall say about anyone? That they’re hot? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/119 "2010-08-03T05:25:39Z")
Hey, I’m cool with you ladies only dating guys taller than you are if you’re cool with me only dating girls thinner than I am. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/120 "2010-08-03T06:42:07Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Hey, I’m cool with you ladies only dating guys taller than you are if you’re cool with me only dating girls thinner than I am. 😛 And if that’s what you’re attracted to, I’m not going to open a thread bitching and moaning that you don’t want to stick it to my fat ass. See? The Earth continues to spin, we all go along merrily. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498.md?page=7)