# If I hear the words "I only date tall guys" one more time... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 29, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498 "2010-07-29T20:22:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Acantha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Acantha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acantha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/121 "2010-08-03T08:12:10Z")
That’s the bitch about internet dating. You have to specify a ‘type.’ When I’m out in public, it’s almost always a tall guy who makes my head swivel, and granted, I dated quite a few tall guys. But I _married_ 2 short guys. So there. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/122 "2010-08-03T08:21:27Z")
> [@Acantha](#): > > That’s the bitch about internet dating. You have to specify a ‘type.’ > > When I’m out in public, it’s almost always a tall guy who makes my head swivel, and granted, I dated quite a few tall guys. > > But I _married_ 2 short guys. So there. So what you’re saying is that you’ve divorced way more short guys than tall guys? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Acantha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Acantha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acantha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/123 "2010-08-03T10:12:13Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@Acantha](#): > > > > That’s the bitch about internet dating. You have to specify a ‘type.’ > > > > When I’m out in public, it’s almost always a tall guy who makes my head swivel, and granted, I dated quite a few tall guys. > > > > But I _married_ 2 short guys. So there. > > So what you’re saying is that you’ve divorced way more short guys than tall guys? 😃 Nope, only 1. 😃 Dumped a lot more tall guys, as it turns out. I guess I throw the big ones back. lolz ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/124 "2010-08-03T10:22:12Z")
Ehh…everybody has their preferences. Just keep in mind that some of us women prefer men who have to look up to kiss us. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2010, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/125 "2010-08-03T14:28:25Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Hey, I’m cool with you ladies only dating guys taller than you are if you’re cool with me only dating girls thinner than I am. 😛 Sure. And if I’m ever single again I will continue to be attracted to and date only men who: are short to average height, have dark hair, are neither chubby or skinny, don’t have a lot of body hair, and have perfectly straight teeth and handsome faces. Oh, and nice ears that are flat against their heads. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/126 "2010-08-04T07:09:02Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > > [@CanvasShoes](#): > > > > No girl wants to feel like some big clumsy amazon, we want to feel pretty and dainty and feminine. I suspect that the short men who are successful in dating women of all sizes, even ones taller than them, have found a way to short circuit this insecurity in that type of woman. > > I disagree with this. A man can’t fix a woman’s insecurity about her height. Just like a tall woman can’t make a shorter guy overcome _his_ insecurities. People resolve their own insecurities. > > I’m a whopping 5’9 and amazed that any woman shorter than me could feel like an lumbering Amazon. Not that I never feel like that way, but being with a man who is shorter than me doesn’t bring on those feelings. It’s all in how I see myself, irrespective of who I’m dating. Since my idea of feminimity isn’t tied to my height (my weight is a different story), I don’t feel the need to look up to a man in order to feel like an attractive woman. > > Taller women who date shorter men probably are like me in this regard. They are secure within themselves when it comes to their height and therefore don’t put a premium on having a tall BF. I think it’s also safe to assume that shorter men who date taller women do not define their masculinity by how high they can reach. I think that’s part of their appeal to me. Right, I didn’t mean that was the be all and end all of all of the reasons a woman might prefer dating a taller man, but as at least two posters have alluded to, that can be a factor. And when I said a man can “short circuit it” again, I didn’t mean “be in full and total charge of boosting her personal self-confidence”. But yes, there are ways a man can behave that can appeal to all women that effectively disconnects the “I must have a taller man” button. I think we’re really saying the same thing for different reasons. The men who, as you say “do not define their masculinity by how high they can reach” likely have a lot of self-confidence. That can definitely extend to their partner and make HER feel more confident, being a sort of positive “self-fulfilling prophecy” of sorts. And if that self-confidence expresses itself in making her feel positive about herself, those warm fuzzies are most likely going to make the karmic rounds and come back to him (and so on and so forth and Scooby Doobie Doo). Whereas the man who’s already got his “bitter on” about the whole tall thing, probably isn’t going to be spreading those warm fuzzies. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/127 "2010-08-04T07:20:39Z")
> [@Khaki\_Campbell](#): > > > [@CanvasShoes](#): > > > > When they’re nose to nose, her toes is in it. > > To kiss him, she can stand on his erect penis like a cockatiel on his perch. Ouch damnit, you made me almost pee my pants! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/128 "2010-08-04T13:12:30Z")
> [@dmatsch](#): > > That’s a hell of a keyboard diagnosis for someone you’ve never met beyond a post on a message board. Well I’ve seen a lot that points to it, here: > [@dmatsch](#): > > She (they) were/was shallow and I have moved on. By “moving on”, I mean I’m still fucking single. > [@dmatsch](#): > > Actually, I just did this. I admit, I went a little sarcastic on her. I wrote her back a couple of days later and said, “I think I grew a couple of inches over the weekend. That puts me close to your ‘you must be this tall’ sign. Maybe we could meet now?!” > [@dmatsch](#): > > > [@Dogzilla](#): > > > > When single, I will scan the room, scope out all the short men and make a point of talking to the ones who are with tall friends (who are getting all the chicks’ attention). I also make a point of talking to the shy, quiet, laid-back guys, completely ignoring the aggressive alpha males. The tall, blustery alphas get plenty of attention, so my attention doesn’t mean as much to them as it does to a short, shy man. Usually, when I’m paying attention to the guys who aren’t getting as much attention as the others, I generally get their attention all to myself and don’t have to compete with a bunch of nasty, shallow bitches to talk to a nice guy. > > I don’t mean any offense by this, but I’m calling bullshit. Women who do the things quoted here don’t exist. Period. The last one is especially nice and what prompted my post. It’s very nice and not nasty and bitter at all to flat out call someone a liar when they say how they go to theoretical guys like you. “God, no one will date a guy who has a bald spot at only 25 :(. Why are they so shallow?” “Actually, I love going up to younger guys who have thinning hair. I find that often they get less attention because of it but they’re often really nice and I get to have him to myself!” “NO YOU DON’T, YOU LYING FUCKING WHORE!” ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/129 "2010-08-04T17:39:47Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > > [@Wile\_E](#): > > > > Don’t be dopey. Maybe he’s just bashful? > > He should see a doc for that. That’s sneezy for you to say. Anyway, I’ll be off now; I’m feeling sleepy. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/130 "2010-08-04T17:40:52Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > “no you don’t, you lying fucking whore!” you know what you can do and you can do it before the jacuzzi! ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/131 "2010-08-04T19:11:59Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Hey, I’m cool with you ladies only dating guys taller than you are if you’re cool with me only dating girls thinner than I am. 😛 Unfortunately, it’s considered more socially acceptable for women to prefer tall men than for men to prefer slender women. That’s why women often feel free to post their height requirements on singles sites, whereas a man would be browbeaten for saying “No overweight women, please” or words to that effect. Yes, I do realize that several ladies here have said that it’s shallow for women to make height a dealbreaker. I commend them for that. I’m just saying that it’s more socially acceptable for women to express their preference for tall guys in the real world. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/132 "2010-08-04T19:18:54Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > > Hey, I’m cool with you ladies only dating guys taller than you are if you’re cool with me only dating girls thinner than I am. 😛 > > Unfortunately, it’s considered more socially acceptable for women to prefer tall men than for men to prefer slender women. That’s why women often feel free to post their height requirements on singles sites, whereas a man would be browbeaten for saying “No overweight women, please” or words to that effect. > > Yes, I do realize that several ladies here have said that it’s shallow for women to make height a dealbreaker. I commend them for that. I’m just saying that it’s more socially acceptable for women to express their preference for tall guys in the real world. Yup. It’s why I posted what I did. ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/133 "2010-08-04T19:33:21Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > > Hey, I’m cool with you ladies only dating guys taller than you are if you’re cool with me only dating girls thinner than I am. 😛 > > Unfortunately, it’s considered more socially acceptable for women to prefer tall men than for men to prefer slender women. That’s why women often feel free to post their height requirements on singles sites, whereas a man would be browbeaten for saying “No overweight women, please” or words to that effect. > > Yes, I do realize that several ladies here have said that it’s shallow for women to make height a dealbreaker. I commend them for that. I’m just saying that it’s more socially acceptable for women to express their preference for tall guys in the real world. Yeah, seriously, what would happen if a man posted something analogous? “Please only respond if you are 34C or larger. It’s just my personal preference.” I don’t begrudge a preference for a certain height, but there’s a clear double standard here. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/134 "2010-08-04T19:45:16Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > > Hey, I’m cool with you ladies only dating guys taller than you are if you’re cool with me only dating girls thinner than I am. 😛 > > Unfortunately, it’s considered more socially acceptable for women to prefer tall men than for men to prefer slender women. That’s why women often feel free to post their height requirements on singles sites, whereas a man would be browbeaten for saying “No overweight women, please” or words to that effect. > > Yes, I do realize that several ladies here have said that it’s shallow for women to make height a dealbreaker. I commend them for that. I’m just saying that it’s more socially acceptable for women to express their preference for tall guys in the real world. > [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > > [@JThunder](#): > > > > Unfortunately, it’s considered more socially acceptable for women to prefer tall men than for men to prefer slender women. That’s why women often feel free to post their height requirements on singles sites, whereas a man would be browbeaten for saying “No overweight women, please” or words to that effect. > > > > Yes, I do realize that several ladies here have said that it’s shallow for women to make height a dealbreaker. I commend them for that. I’m just saying that it’s more socially acceptable for women to express their preference for tall guys in the real world. > > Yeah, seriously, what would happen if a man posted something analogous? “Please only respond if you are 34C or larger. It’s just my personal preference.” > > I don’t begrudge a preference for a certain height, but there’s a clear double standard here. lolwut? Um, dating sites most certainly have where you put what you’re looking for. I assure you, searching for guys that are into bigger women gives significantly less results than “athletic,” “thin,” etc. And what on Earth is wrong with a guy saying he’s into boobs or not? Some guys are attracted to boobs, some to asses, some to legs, some to hair. These are all things that make us want a potential mate over another. Someone who is into petite, flat chested women is not going to want to date my fat, big titty having, hour glass shaped body. Nothing wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/135 "2010-08-04T19:49:40Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > [ > > > [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > > > Yeah, seriously, what would happen if a man posted something analogous? “Please only respond if you are 34C or larger. It’s just my personal preference.” > > > > I don’t begrudge a preference for a certain height, but there’s a clear double standard here. > > lolwut? > > Um, dating sites most certainly have where you put what you’re looking for. I assure you, searching for guys that are into bigger women gives significantly less results than “athletic,” “thin,” etc. > > And what on Earth is wrong with a guy saying he’s into boobs or not? Some guys are attracted to boobs, some to asses, some to legs, some to hair. These are all things that make us want a potential mate over another. Someone who is into petite, flat chested women is not going to want to date my fat, big titty having, hour glass shaped body. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah. I mean, if a guy has a dating profile that says he wants a woman with an “athletic figure”, that translates into “please respond if you are thin with smaller breasts”. If “curvy” is desired, it means he doesn’t want someone who has the athletic figure. I lolirl (;)) at people who refuse to admit that the vast majority of people _do_ have physical preferences, about attributes that may or _may not be_ changeable. Fact is, there is no one who will appeal to everyone. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/136 "2010-08-04T19:50:45Z")
Edit: Nm, I don’t feel like getting into it atm. ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/137 "2010-08-04T19:54:24Z")
Nobody’s saying that having preferences is wrong, just that the expression of those preferences is treated differently depending on whether you are a man or a woman. If a woman expresses it, it’s “personal preference;” if a man expresses it, he’s being “shallow.” ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/138 "2010-08-04T19:58:49Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > Nobody’s saying that having preferences is wrong, just that the expression of those preferences is treated differently depending on whether you are a man or a woman. If a woman expresses it, it’s “personal preference;” if a man expresses it, he’s being “shallow.” But that’s what multiple women in this thread are refuting! **Diosa** is a woman, I’m a woman, **Sleeps** is a woman and so are others. We are flat out saying it.is.not.shallow to be attracted to what you’re attracted to! ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/139 "2010-08-04T19:58:51Z")
> [@Acantha](#): > > But I _married_ 2 short guys. So there. At once? Well, I guess if you put one on top of the other you get one tall guy. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/140 "2010-08-04T20:00:35Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > Nobody’s saying that having preferences is wrong, just that the expression of those preferences is treated differently depending on whether you are a man or a woman. If a woman expresses it, it’s “personal preference;” if a man expresses it, he’s being “shallow.” Not one woman here is saying that. Just the men. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498.md?page=8)