# If I hear the words "I only date tall guys" one more time... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 29, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498 "2010-07-29T20:22:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/141 "2010-08-04T20:04:03Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > But that’s what multiple women in this thread are refuting! **Diosa** is a woman, I’m a woman, **Sleeps** is a woman and so are others. We are flat out saying it.is.not.shallow to be attracted to what you’re attracted to! We’re all in agreement then. From my experience though, you three are not representative of your entire cohort. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/142 "2010-08-04T20:06:35Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > > [@zweisamkeit](#): > > > > But that’s what multiple women in this thread are refuting! **Diosa** is a woman, I’m a woman, **Sleeps** is a woman and so are others. We are flat out saying it.is.not.shallow to be attracted to what you’re attracted to! > > We’re all in agreement then. From my experience though, you three are not representative of your entire cohort. Oh, so do tell us what all women believe. Then we can tell you what all men believe. Broad brushes are fun! ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/143 "2010-08-04T20:08:21Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Oh, so do tell us what all women believe. Then we can tell you what all men believe. Broad brushes are fun! What part of “in my experience” are you incapable of comprehending? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/144 "2010-08-04T20:08:31Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > [Oh, so do tell us what all women believe. I would, but you all change your minds every ten minutes. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/145 "2010-08-04T20:11:43Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > > [Oh, so do tell us what all women believe. > > I would, but you all change your minds every ten minutes. This is why we should all get back in the kitchen, that way poor short guys wont have to deal with some of us wanting to fuck them\*\*\* and some of us not ☹ \*\*\*Except the ones who claim to want to fuck them are nothing but dirty, lying whores. Because no woman wants to fuck a short guy ever- the short guys said so, so it must be true. Any woman who says anything to the contrary is a big ol’ liar. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/146 "2010-08-04T20:13:46Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > > I would, but you all change your minds every ten minutes. > > This is why we should all get back in the kitchen, that way poor short guys wont have to deal with some of us wanting to fuck them\*\*\* and some of us not ☹ > > \*\*\*Except the ones who claim to want to fuck them are nothing but dirty, lying whores. Because no woman wants to fuck a short guy ever- the short guys said so, so it must be true. Any woman who says anything to the contrary is a big ol’ liar. Now you’ve got it! ---
**Author:** ![Acantha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Acantha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acantha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/147 "2010-08-04T20:14:52Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@JThunder](#): > > > > Unfortunately, it’s considered more socially acceptable for women to prefer tall men than for men to prefer slender women. That’s why women often feel free to post their height requirements on singles sites, whereas a man would be browbeaten for saying “No overweight women, please” or words to that effect. > > > > Yes, I do realize that several ladies here have said that it’s shallow for women to make height a dealbreaker. I commend them for that. I’m just saying that it’s more socially acceptable for women to express their preference for tall guys in the real world. > > Yup. It’s why I posted what I did. I don’t think that’s true at all. I think fat hate is fairly universal in our society. ---
**Author:** ![Acantha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Acantha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acantha)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/148 "2010-08-04T20:19:30Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > > [@Acantha](#): > > > > But I _married_ 2 short guys. So there. > > At once? Well, I guess if you put one on top of the other you get one tall guy. heh. nope, many years apart. The first marriage put me off marriage for quite a few years. But height didn’t have anything to do with it, it was more of a personal responsibility thing. I’m just saying it’s hard to fight the initial ‘type’ you _think_ you’re attracted to, what tends to turn your head in the beginning. And on those stupid dating sites when they ask you to define what you want, people will specify a ‘type.’ ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/149 "2010-08-04T21:06:34Z")
I’m 5’7, married to **Nashiitashii** who is 5’9-5’10. We get along fine. A lot of her friends were surprised that she got married to a man shorter than her. To us it didn’t matter, being shorter than her doesn’t make me less masculine, strong, manly, or capable. It doesn’t mean I’m not far stronger than her and have to open all the jars, or that I can’t carry her around over my shoulder. When people point it out we just say: “so?..” The trick is to stop caring about it. You don’t want any of the women who say they only date tall guys anyway. Like any number of other posters have mentioned, they’re shallow. While we can’t help what we are attracted to, height falls into the same category as race as far as I’m concerned. We can change our eye colors with contacts, dye our hair, work out until we’re rippling, veiny freaks or eat ourselves into blobs of quivering flab, get nosejobs, lypo, and fake tans but we can’t help certain things. Someone who has laid down that general of a decree is shallow regardless of gender and you’re better off without them. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/150 "2010-08-04T21:15:06Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > And what on Earth is wrong with a guy saying he’s into boobs or not? Some guys are attracted to boobs, some to asses, some to legs, some to hair. These are all things that make us want a potential mate over another. Someone who is into petite, flat chested women is not going to want to date my fat, big titty having, hour glass shaped body. Nothing wrong with that. Tell the truth, you’re still hurt because Scumpup took down his MySpace (oh I forgot, it’s NOT his.. nope) page and you can’t cast your eyes on him anymore. HE REJECTED YOU because of GRAVY or something. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/151 "2010-08-04T21:20:35Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > I’m a whopping 5’9 and amazed that any woman shorter than me could feel like an lumbering Amazon. Not that I never feel like that way, but being with a man who is shorter than me doesn’t bring on those feelings. It’s all in how I see myself, irrespective of who I’m dating. Since my idea of feminimity isn’t tied to my height (my weight is a different story), I don’t feel the need to look up to a man in order to feel like an attractive woman. > > Taller women who date shorter men probably are like me in this regard. They are secure within themselves when it comes to their height and therefore don’t put a premium on having a tall BF. I think it’s also safe to assume that shorter men who date taller women do not define their masculinity by how high they can reach. I think that’s part of their appeal to me. I would say that, for my experience at just over 5’9", I’m secure in my height but generally feel better about myself in general when in the dating circle _because_ a man (or more) is attracted to my somewhat Amazonian Valkyrie build. I’m comfortable in my own skin, so it bothers me none whether the guy who’s attracted is 3 inches shorter than me or 3 inches taller than me. I am, however, really shallow when it comes to looks and age range\*-- however, I’m married, so it’s more a situation of “oooh, he thinks I’m cute and is flirting with me-- that’s nice” than a “do you want to get to know each other better?” situation. > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > > > My friend has had more than one guy ask her not to wear heels so he can be taller. > > I’m 5’3’‘- I have a guy friend who asks me not to wear heels when we go out because it makes his 5’6’’ self feel uncomfortable. He’s not my boyfriend, I’ve never so much as gone on a date with him, but he really harps on this heel thing and how it makes him feel. > > See, as I see it, part of the joy of me being so short is that I can comfortably wear crazy high heels without towering over everyone. I mean, I can wear straight up stripper heels and still not tower. But even my 2-3 inch heels make this guy, who says all women should always wear flats (seriously), uncomfortable. I’d wear my 3" and 4" heels just to annoy him, as I think it’s silly reasoning. I’ve gotten over the fact that my height makes some people uncomfortable to the point where the “Holy shit, it’s Bitchzilla!”\*\* looks I used to get at the grocery store when wearing high heels don’t phase me anymore. \*I’m 5’9.5" and built like the average Scandinavian Farm Girl, so I’m generally not the “average look” anywhere but in Iceland; I’m used to being the oddball. If I were on the dating scene again, I’d strongly prefer men who were within four inches of my height on either end of the scale, neither toast rack thin nor obese, but definitely confident and intelligent enough to keep me entertained. My taste in men from that point vary wildly, as I have a more clear sense of things that aren’t interesting to me than things that are universally “my type”. I like and am attracted to people with fairly even tone to their skin (with maybe a smattering of freckles facially), but it’s not a universal thing for me. I prefer a guy who is confident in himself, interesting, and a certain height isn’t required to make me feel safe or protected-- **Acid Lamp** does a great job of all of those on his own. \*\*I just moved out of Central Florida where this used to happen. It’d normally be elderly folks and women who were 5’4" and under who’d see me wandering the aisles in 4" heels and nothing unusual about my outfit compared to what I would normally wear, but the extra four inches would push my height above the 6’ mark and as a result, I’d get these stares like I was a circus freak. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/152 "2010-08-04T21:34:47Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > > > Nobody’s saying that having preferences is wrong, just that the expression of those preferences is treated differently depending on whether you are a man or a woman. If a woman expresses it, it’s “personal preference;” if a man expresses it, he’s being “shallow.” > > Not one woman here is saying that. Just the men. Hm, I’m a woman (married to a short man), and I could have sworn I posted something to the effect that women who will date only tall men are shallow. :: checks though thread :: Oh look, sure enough: > [@me](#): > > I agree with those who say to be thankful that these girls are letting you know how shallow they are right up front. Sure it’s a matter of attraction, and they’re only looking at the outside; that’s what makes them shallow. Their loss. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/153 "2010-08-04T21:50:12Z")
I give up. Alright, short guys of the Dope: go ahead and keep thinking women who aren’t attracted to you are shallow, evil, dumb twats (because, clearly, that’s what they are). Physical attraction is an illusion that only shallow, stupid girls believe in. It’s an unfair social double standard that women can say they don’t like short men, but you can’t say you don’t want to pork fat chicks. It’s cruel, but it’s the reality of life, guys. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/154 "2010-08-04T21:51:49Z")
Don’t you feel better now? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/155 "2010-08-04T21:52:27Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Don’t you feel better now? No, because you don’t want to pork me and it was exceptionally cruel of you to say so. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/156 "2010-08-04T22:15:40Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > > Don’t you feel better now? > > No, because you don’t want to pork me and it was exceptionally cruel of you to say so. ☹ You’re still upset about that dog thread, huh? ---
**Author:** ![nuggz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/278dde/32.png) [@nuggz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nuggz)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/157 "2010-08-04T22:27:14Z")
It’s quite possible that they don’t want to date you for _other_ reasons, but use the height excuse to avoid saying something that might bother you quite a bit more. You kinda sound like those guys who seem to believe women don’t like “nice guys”. We like nice guys, but not insecure whiny bitches. Personally, I never like a guy who plays the victim. Excuses like “I’m too short” “I’m too nice” don’t bode well with me. You’re probably not too short or too nice… you’re probably just leaning a little too heavily on the scape-goat. Pleanty of short and/or nice guys find dates. ORRRRRRRR People must be attracted to the person they date. Period. If I’m going to have to pick a guy to date, based SOLEY on physical attraction… yeah, I probably would pick a guy between 6 ft and 6ft6. I like having a guy tower over me. Whatever. But that’s not how attraction usually works. I can meet a 6’ 5" guy with NO personality, and yeah, not gonna date him. I can meet a 5’6" guy with an awesome personality, and I will date him. If I meet two guys, one short (or average) and the other tall, who both have the SAME EXACT personality (for example), I’m gonna probably pick the tall guy. Same thing… yes, you’d date a chubby chick that was awesome, but if you met both her and her slender friend who was EQUALLY awesome, and they both showed you interest… who would you pick? ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/158 "2010-08-04T22:28:39Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I give up. Alright, short guys of the Dope: go ahead and keep thinking women who aren’t attracted to you are shallow, evil, dumb twats (because, clearly, that’s what they are). Is it okay if I’m a tall, devastastingly handsome man and I also think women who select long-term partners based purely on physical attributes are shallow? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/159 "2010-08-04T22:38:22Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Hm, I’m a woman (married to a short man), and I could have sworn I posted something to the effect that women who will date only tall men are shallow. :: checks though thread :: Oh look, sure enough: Yep, and it’s just as ridiculous now as it was then ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498/160 "2010-08-04T22:42:31Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > > No, because you don’t want to pork me and it was exceptionally cruel of you to say so. ☹ > > You’re still upset about that dog thread, huh? How can I just turn away when someone rejects my honest request for marriage in such a cavalier manner? You broke my heart. I wont get over this quickly. ☹ > [@Bosstone](#): > > > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > > I give up. Alright, short guys of the Dope: go ahead and keep thinking women who aren’t attracted to you are shallow, evil, dumb twats (because, clearly, that’s what they are). > > Is it okay if I’m a tall, devastastingly handsome man and I also think women who select long-term partners based purely on physical attributes are shallow? 😉 Absolutely. Because as an attractive man, I- a woman- value your opinion 178% more than these uggo shorties and gravy chugging fatties (me!) in this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-hear-the-words-i-only-date-tall-guys-one-more-time/548498.md?page=9)