# If I "ignore" someone's request to join X on Facebook, do they know I have ignored it **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 9, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869 "2009-03-09T20:29:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/21 "2009-03-11T01:55:41Z")
> [@CrazyChop](#): > > As an aside, Facebook allows you to create list of friends. Is it possible to put one list as "Yes, those are really my friends and one list as “Those are people I just want to be in touch with”, that sort of categories? Yes. As someone else said, it also works for albums (and videos, and walls, and, well, everything). Go find the privacy settings under the settings tab. Play with it, enjoy it. I have a couple of albums where the pictures are visible to few friends. I have it set up so that nobody who is not my friend can see most of my albums, unless I provide a direct link. I also have other settings about how much some people can see me, and even who can find me if they search for me. Also, you can block someone. Not that I know how much it works, since I think the feeling is mutual. I doubt the blocked party would ever try to contact me, but just in case… ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/22 "2009-03-12T06:05:51Z")
> [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](#): > > Not that that comment would be at all out of place on Facebook … A friend of mine’s dad, whom I havn’t seen in a very long time, kicked me in the nuts on facebook after hearing from his son that I had to take a couple days off work from a… well.. let’s put it as “a work related injury”. Never thought I’d be saying that my friend’s dad kicked me in the nuts on facebook. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/23 "2009-03-12T14:48:01Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > You can make a list and call it whatever you want and put whoever out of the people you’ve “friended” on Facebook on it. > > You can adjust your privacy settings so that different parts of your profile are visible to different lists. You can also do this with individual photo albums. So if you have crazy photos from college on there you could set the album to only be visible to your “Real Friends” list, or set it to be visible to everyone _but_ your “Work Friends” list. I have “work” “friends” “friend acquaintances” and “other” Work are people I don’t want to know my personal life, but want to be able to find them again if I need to. That’s a network feature (I use linked in more for that, but some people are on facebook). Friends are my friends - if they post that they just snorted their coffee through their nose, I’m amused. I don’t care if they see stupid stuff about me. Friend acquaintances are friends of friends. They can see my friend list, but they don’t see my own posts. If they want gossip about me, they need to get it from my friends, I’m not spoonfeeding it to them. Other is pretty much everyone else - people I knew in high school or college that have no connection to anyone else in my life. They don’t see much either - but I accept their invites. ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/24 "2009-03-12T15:32:10Z")
Does anybody know if there’s a way to ignore just a friend’s status updates? I don’t want to de-friend him…he’s a cool guy and sometimes he posts old photos from elementary school that I want to be able to see, and sometimes he posts cool links. But he updates his status like every five minutes…John Smith is eating bacon. John Smith is sleepy. John Smith is leaving for work. John Smith is at work. You get the idea…it takes up my entire home page and I think I’m missing stuff from my other friends because they get moved down the page so quickly. Any help? ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/25 "2009-03-12T16:33:17Z")
Mmmmmm… bacon. Oh, sorry. I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/26 "2009-03-12T16:57:38Z")
> [@PeskiPiksi](#): > > Does anybody know if there’s a way to ignore just a friend’s status updates? I don’t want to de-friend him…he’s a cool guy and sometimes he posts old photos from elementary school that I want to be able to see, and sometimes he posts cool links. But he updates his status like every five minutes…John Smith is eating bacon. John Smith is sleepy. John Smith is leaving for work. John Smith is at work. > > You get the idea…it takes up my entire home page and I think I’m missing stuff from my other friends because they get moved down the page so quickly. Any help? When you hover your mouse over a status update, you should see a little pencil and the word “Options.” Click on that. It will say “More about John Smith” and “Less about John Smith.” Click the latter, you will see less of his inane status updates. ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/27 "2009-03-12T17:51:31Z")
**Litoris** , you rock! Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/28 "2009-03-12T18:29:33Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > You can make a list and call it whatever you want and put whoever out of the people you’ve “friended” on Facebook on it. > > You can adjust your privacy settings so that different parts of your profile are visible to different lists. You can also do this with individual photo albums. So if you have crazy photos from college on there you could set the album to only be visible to your “Real Friends” list, or set it to be visible to everyone _but_ your “Work Friends” list. Oh! You may have finally solved what has been keeping me from joining Facebook. What do you suppose my wife will think when she is placed in the nerd list? Will she know that she’s on the nerd list? I’m imagining my Facebook profile like the Omega Theta Pi pledge party. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/29 "2009-03-12T18:54:30Z")
Thanks everyone. I’m pleased to see I am not the only one who had this question and that it helped others, too. I don’t actually mind all of the stuff, but I just don’t have time to keep up with all of the sheep-throwing nonsense. _ducks corkboard’s throw_ And I am not that impressed by Facebook anyway. But I resisted LJ forever and now I post almost daily, so I hope maybe someday it’ll click. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/30 "2009-03-13T21:52:56Z")
> [@Litoris](#): > > When you hover your mouse over a status update, you should see a little pencil and the word “Options.” Click on that. It will say “More about John Smith” and “Less about John Smith.” Click the latter, you will see less of his inane status updates. Except that it doesn’t seem to be working for this one friend. I really like her in RL, but on FB she has become Miss Family Pictures, by which I mean, not pics of her and her brother etc, but her second cousin’s aunt’s long dead SIL type stuff. She posts all these pics continually, with accompanying backstory, which would be quasi-interesting, if she bothered to explain them. Instead I get stuff like, “Malcolm always claimed Ducky was too sinister!” captioning a pic of a 1950s housewife in an apron, taking a duster to a mantelpiece. And on and on and on… I’ve clicked “Less about X” so many times, but I never seem to get LESS of X. I have another friend from HS who wants me to join every cause out there. I now just ignore all petitions, but before I would feel guilty about it. Now I think she just is a bit lonely and more than a bit kooky. \ I do have one woman with whom I used to work (and I couldn’t stand her) appearing on my “you might be friends with” or whatever–every time I see her pic I snort loudly and exclaim “as if!” audibly. It’s a hobby of sorts. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/31 "2009-03-13T22:39:59Z")
> [@WarmNPrickly](#): > > Oh! You may have finally solved what has been keeping me from joining Facebook. What do you suppose my wife will think when she is placed in the nerd list? Will she know that she’s on the nerd list? I’m imagining my Facebook profile like the Omega Theta Pi pledge party. She’ll only know if you tell her. You’re the only person who can see how you’ve arranged your list of friends. ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/32 "2009-03-13T23:18:50Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Except that it doesn’t seem to be working for this one friend. I really like her in RL, but on FB she has become Miss Family Pictures, by which I mean, not pics of her and her brother etc, but her second cousin’s aunt’s long dead SIL type stuff. She posts all these pics continually, with accompanying backstory, which would be quasi-interesting, if she bothered to explain them. Instead I get stuff like, “Malcolm always claimed Ducky was too sinister!” captioning a pic of a 1950s housewife in an apron, taking a duster to a mantelpiece. And on and on and on… > > I’ve clicked “Less about X” so many times, but I never seem to get LESS of X. > > I have another friend from HS who wants me to join every cause out there. I now just ignore all petitions, but before I would feel guilty about it. Now I think she just is a bit lonely and more than a bit kooky. \ > > I do have one woman with whom I used to work (and I couldn’t stand her) appearing on my “you might be friends with” or whatever–every time I see her pic I snort loudly and exclaim “as if!” audibly. > It’s a hobby of sorts. The new setup has a "hide"X button now – wonder if that will work for you? As to your hobby, I have one person in my friend requests that I basically do the same thing. Every time I see a new request, I go look at them to see who it is, and that one makes me snort and say (out loud) “yeah, right” – this is a person who literally obsessed over me to the point of trying to get me expelled at one point. She’s been in and out of the nuthouse so many times since we graduated that I think she gets frequent flyer miles for it now. Honestly? I’d probably be more inclined to accept a friend request from bin laden than this idiot! ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/33 "2009-03-13T23:26:36Z")
> [@Litoris](#): > > The new setup has a "hide"X button now – wonder if that will work for you? Having just tried that out, as all the ‘less about…’ settings seemed to have disappeared with the new layout, I got the following message: > [@](#): > > XXXX XXXXX has been hidden from your News Feed. > In the future, you won’t see posts from XXXXX. (Show Hidden Friends) ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2009, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869/34 "2009-03-14T00:44:23Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > Having just tried that out, as all the ‘less about…’ settings seemed to have disappeared with the new layout, I got the following message: I will try it, then. Hey, will you be my friend? 🙂 😉 😛 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-ignore-someones-request-to-join-x-on-facebook-do-they-know-i-have-ignored-it/488869.md?page=1)