# If I Only Had A Gun: stories that would be completely different if people were armed **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 6, 2022, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453 "2022-11-06T03:31:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/21 "2022-11-06T15:02:35Z")
> [@ParallelLines](#): > > About 3/4 of the various Batman films and series as well, as he constantly racks up a huge list of innocent victims from the revolving door at Arkham. A fact shared with many other brutal, but ‘won’t kill’ heroes and vigilantes. Batman’s the most brutal character of all. He doesn’t refrain from killing because he respects life. He does it because he enjoys endlessly tormenting his targets and he doesn’t want them to escape him through death. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/22 "2022-11-06T15:06:37Z")
High Priest: You shall smuggle the mummy of Kharis into the United States. On the next full moon, you shall use the tana leaves to bring the mummy to life. Kharis shall destroy the infidels. Acolyte: You want them whacked? I have a cousin in Chicago who owes me a favor. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/23 "2022-11-06T15:07:53Z")
> [@ZonexandScout](#): > > _Psycho_ is why I always carry a gun when I’m in the shower at a hotel. True story. I used to work with a guy who was a gun nut. He was telling me how he was always armed. Not just in public; he carried a gun at all times in his home in case somebody broke into his house. So I made what I thought would be a joke and asked him what would happen if somebody broke into his house while he was taking a shower. He told me he was prepared for that. He had built a shelf in his shower up above where the water came down where he kept his gun while showering. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/24 "2022-11-06T15:27:51Z")
Jesus Christ: “Crucify _this_!” BAM! BAM! BAM! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/25 "2022-11-06T15:28:12Z")
> [@ZonexandScout](#): > > _Psycho_ is why I always carry a gun when I’m in the shower at a hotel Ah, the Shower Rapist Burglar. [Ok, if I shouldn't \_shoot\_ the intruder, then...? - #452 by Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-if-i-shouldnt-_shoot_-the-intruder-then/482060/452) I still 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/26 "2022-11-06T15:33:13Z")
There was an episode of _Stargate SG-1_ that poked some fun at this idea. Jack O’neil was serving as a military consultant on science fiction show and a producer was have an argument with a writer over how best to deal with an alien threat. The producer balked at the solution because it was expensive to film and the writer went on about how not using the gun was important to the character’s development. A frustrated producer turns to O’Neill and asks how they should deal with the alien threat and he replies, “Just shoot it.” ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/27 "2022-11-06T17:30:12Z")
_Kramer vs Kramer_ would have actually been an interesting movie. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/28 "2022-11-06T17:38:54Z")
Home Alone, but the kid would likely have accidentally shot himself … ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/29 "2022-11-06T17:51:20Z")
Lauren Boebert? [Here](https://www.businessinsider.com/lauren-boebert-jesus-didnt-have-ar-15s-save-his-life-2022-6?op=1)? Well I’ll be [damned](https://schumanchu.eu/html/l/l_00119goodmanwithagun.html)… ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/30 "2022-11-06T17:52:30Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Home Alone, but the kid would likely have accidentally shot himself … He didn’t with the BB gun, ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/31 "2022-11-06T17:55:09Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/rf1LSNNgSWA/maxresdefault.jpg "Family Guy - Home Alone with Competent Robbers") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf1LSNNgSWA) ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/32 "2022-11-06T17:58:46Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > He doesn’t refrain from killing because he respects life. He does it because he enjoys endlessly tormenting his targets and he doesn’t want them to escape him through death. I can’t disagree. One of the few channels I follow on Youtube is “The SCIENCE!” analyzes the science or physics going on in a lot of video game assumptions, and is one of my go-tos when I want to listen to a fun rant. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/SIJwdcj4rlM/maxresdefault.jpg "Proof Batman Kills, A LOT! | The SCIENCE!... of Batman") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIJwdcj4rlM) Makes a very good case that Batman is actually murdering a metric ton of Mooks, certainly in this game, and almost certainly in his day to day efforts. Because outside of fiction, we all know hard it is to knock someone out (especially if they stay knocked out for more than a moment) without having caused major injury! ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/33 "2022-11-06T18:13:00Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > As shown in the Simpsons when they uncover the lost original ending of A Wonderful Life “Killing Spree Ending” Being the gun nut I am, I just had to look up the Browning M37; it’s ahistorical as it was developed ten years post-WW2 (although that might have been a M1919 Browning mislabled). Not to even mention it was far too heavy for even a berserk killer to wield manually. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/34 "2022-11-06T20:57:54Z")
_Cujo_ by Stephen King. _Shattered_ by Dick Francis. Two police officers in Britain are confronting a woman threatening civilians with molten glass on the end of a long spear, more or less. She kills one of the officers and the other has to run for help to get officers with ranged weapons. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/35 "2022-11-06T21:47:01Z")
Now that was satisfying. Gawd, I hate that movie. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/36 "2022-11-06T21:55:53Z")
[Bambi Meets Godzilla](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5R-rbzcEM8A) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/37 "2022-11-06T22:26:13Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > [Bambi Meets Godzilla.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5R-rbzcEM8A) I dunno; Godzilla doesn’t need a gun, and Bambi was showing extremely poor situational awareness. ---
**Author:** ![Dandan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@Dandan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandan)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/38 "2022-11-06T22:38:20Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > If I only had a gun… Can’t believe you didn’t get any love for this effort… Dan ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/39 "2022-11-06T22:39:10Z")
I enjoyed it. ---
**Author:** ![Dandan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@Dandan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandan)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453/40 "2022-11-06T22:45:04Z")
Yes, pretty smooth… Dan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-only-had-a-gun-stories-that-would-be-completely-different-if-people-were-armed/974453.md?page=3)