# If I put this uranium ore down my underpants what would happen? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 8, 2014, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980 "2014-05-08T15:48:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![StrangerThanFiction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@StrangerThanFiction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrangerThanFiction)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2014, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/21 "2014-05-08T21:23:05Z")
Would that 10,000 CPM ore be radioactive enough to have an elevated temperature? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/22 "2014-05-09T01:06:18Z")
[This](http://youtu.be/04FDhGglccs) (NSFW) On the other hand, you can probably get around doing [this](http://youtu.be/gCHQzk2okoc). (Again, NSFW) ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/23 "2014-05-09T01:13:53Z")
LeoBloom, I’ll have your glowing babies. I’m a new member, and the minute I read your subject line I laughed hard enough to completely justify the subscription fee. And then the rest of this thread just got funnier and funnier. I’m way in the black here. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/24 "2014-05-09T04:27:37Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > LeoBloom, I’ll have your glowing babies. See Post #20. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/25 "2014-05-09T04:53:21Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > See Post #20. I don’t think you understand how very deeply I worship That Which Makes Me Laugh. I would gladly raise Godzilla children if their dad kept me in stitches. 😃 Yes, I left myself wide open on that one Oops, did it a second time, hee hee ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2014, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/26 "2014-05-09T05:29:17Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > I don’t think you understand how very deeply I worship That Which Makes Me Laugh. I would gladly raise Godzilla children if their dad kept me in stitches. 😃 Then you should read these classic posts: [The Marmite Horror](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=534691) by **Mr. Excellent** , October 4, 2009. [My patient’s bizarre penis](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=273825) by **Qadgop the Mercotan** , August 30, 2004. (ETA: BTW: His link to a picture of a bagel dog is long since defunct, but you can find a good discussion, with photo, [here](http://realmomkitchen.com/1479/bagel-dogs/).) ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/27 "2014-05-19T01:50:46Z")
I bump this not only to alert you to a similar post/thread, but one which answered an OP-to-be on exactly the same thing that occurred to me this week. I was looking forward to posting my query with a title that played off this atomic energy\* one, but with electrical, but–drumroll–I Googled first, and it was the second hit, and it stole my thunder. And informs us of the Tesla 69. I present to you **jackelope** ’s What can batteries do in my pocket? Or: Help! My crotch is on fire! \*I first wrote “nuclear” energy. Everyone uses the two interchangeably, but alpha release has nothing to do with the nucleonic forces, does it? Or am I pretending, again, to know too much? ETA: he or the mods stuck it into IMHO. No idea why. Even GQ scientists have HOs too, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/28 "2014-05-19T01:58:40Z")
Also, I live in NYC, the uterus, as it were, of the American bagel, and have never heard of, and am pretty sure have never seen in a supermarket, a bagel dog. Midwest only? West coast? I’ve never seen one of those penises either. But this would be a hijack of _that_ thread, let alone this one. A meta-hijack. (Maybe we should continue it just to see how long before the mod swoop.) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/29 "2014-05-19T10:59:30Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > A meta-hijack. (Maybe we should continue it just to see how long before the mod swoop.) _A shadow briefly passes over the thread. Posters flee, then return, warily._ ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2014, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/30 "2014-05-19T13:43:27Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > \*I first wrote “nuclear” energy. Everyone uses the two interchangeably, but alpha release has nothing to do with the nucleonic forces, does it? Or am I pretending, again, to know too much? Well, since an alpha particle is basically a helium nucleus (two protons and two neutrons), I think you’re incorrect, and “nuclear” would be fine. Are you thinking of a beta particle, which is a high-energy electron (or positron)? Also, I gotta say, **Leo Bloom** , you ask some of the best questions **ever**. ---
**Author:** ![CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2014, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/31 "2014-05-27T14:41:19Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > LeoBloom, I’ll have your glowing babies. > > I’m a new member, and the minute I read your subject line I laughed hard enough to completely justify the subscription fee. > > And then the rest of this thread just got funnier and funnier. I’m way in the black here. 😃 Welcome, darlin’ - and FYI - if you haven’t discovered it, check out \*Threadspotting \*on the front page of the site. Often some truly hysterical threads show up. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2014, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/32 "2014-05-27T15:12:28Z")
Thanks for the welcome and the tip, CC. I’m slowly learning the ropes around here. After my stinkbug fiasco with Dr. Colibri, I’ve also begun reviewing profiles before I post. :o :smack: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2014, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/33 "2014-05-27T16:54:59Z")
Not sure what fiasco you experienced, but I do know that some of the mods can get a bit testy at times. Must go with the territory. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2014, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/34 "2014-05-27T17:12:05Z")
> [@CC](#): > > Not sure what fiasco you experienced, but I do know that some of the mods can get a bit testy at times. Must go with the territory. NO NO NO, you misunderstood me! I was arguing over whether stinkbugs stink when dead, and stubbornly relatin’ my experiences in my Southern gal persona \. I went back and forth with Colibri and he was anything but testy…very polite actually. I’m sure that inside he wanted to throttle me, lol. I’m the one who felt like an idiot once I read his profile. I promptly lit seventy candles to Saint Phutnmouth, who resides in a prominent spot on my dresser. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2014, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/35 "2014-05-27T17:14:31Z")
I read a mystery novel once in which this was an issue: It was by Tony Hillerman, although I don’t remember the title. Characters were dying of cancer, and it turned out that the villain had given them a “good luck charm” that they were to “always carry in their pocket” and it was very radioactive. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2014, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/36 "2014-05-27T17:24:26Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > I read a mystery novel once in which this was an issue: > > It was by Tony Hillerman, although I don’t remember the title. Characters were dying of cancer, and it turned out that the villain had given them a “good luck charm” that they were to “always carry in their pocket” and it was very radioactive. An Arsène Lupin story also features a chunk of quasi-pure radium as one of its key plot points. Back to the OP : you’d save a few bucks if you’re part of the raver scene. “Glowsticks ? I don’t need no steenking glowsticks !” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2014, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/37 "2014-05-27T17:44:56Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > If I put this uranium ore down my underpants what would happen? U-tube. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/38 "2014-05-27T18:01:15Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > U-tube. Haha - U-funny! ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/39 "2015-11-13T03:30:20Z")
_DOE Issues New Rule for Workers: Don’t Put Highly Enriched Uranium in Your Pocket_ …After interviewing chemical operators and reviewing revised Y-12 procedures, we confirmed that chemical operators are no longer allowed to place samples in their pockets and must check their pockets before removing their coveralls,” said a report issued by the DOE Office of Inspector General. The report, released in September, described a safety violation that occured last year at the DOE’s Y-12 National Security Complex in Oak Ridge, Tenn… [Cnsnews.com](http://Cnsnews.com), 10/30/2015 [http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/melanie-hunter/new-doe-rule-dont-put-highly-enriched-uranium-your-pocket](http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/melanie-hunter/new-doe-rule-dont-put-highly-enriched-uranium-your-pocket) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/40 "2015-11-13T17:52:10Z")
You’d probably get atomic ache. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980.md?page=3)