# If I put this uranium ore down my underpants what would happen?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [May 8, 2014, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980 "2014-05-08T15:48:46Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 11\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\
**Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/41 "2015-11-13T18:35:49Z")

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> [@Leo\_Bloom](#):
>
> _DOE Issues New Rule for Workers: Don’t Put Highly Enriched Uranium in Your Pocket_  
> …After interviewing chemical operators and reviewing revised Y-12 procedures, we confirmed that chemical operators are no longer allowed to place samples in their pockets and must check their pockets before removing their coveralls,” said a report issued by the DOE Office of Inspector General.
> 
> The report, released in September, described a safety violation that occured last year at the DOE’s Y-12 National Security Complex in Oak Ridge, Tenn…  
> [Cnsnews.com](http://Cnsnews.com), 10/30/2015  
> [http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/melanie-hunter/new-doe-rule-dont-put-highly-enriched-uranium-your-pocket](http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/melanie-hunter/new-doe-rule-dont-put-highly-enriched-uranium-your-pocket)

Notice there is no prohibition for underpants!

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**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\
**Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/42 "2015-11-13T18:43:47Z")

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Penis ensues.

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**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\
**Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/43 "2015-11-13T19:02:06Z")

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No matter what the link you clicked promised you, it’s not gonna work that way.

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**Author:** ![Nelson\_Pike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Nelson\_Pike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nelson_Pike)\
**Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/44 "2015-11-13T19:20:17Z")

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Darwin Award nomination.

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**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\
**Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/45 "2015-11-13T21:05:07Z")

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> [@Kobal2](#):
>
> Back to the OP : you’d save a few bucks if you’re part of the raver scene. “Glowsticks ? I don’t need no steenking glowsticks !”

I’ve got your glowstick right here.

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**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\
**Post date:** [November 13, 2015, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/46 "2015-11-13T21:12:49Z")

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> [@Leo\_Bloom](#):
>
> Uranium ore, you can [buy it](http://www.imagesco.com/geiger/uranium-ore.html) at [del]$25.00[/del] $24.95.
> 
> Same question goes for the more potent stuff, at $150.00…

Just checked the store. Prices changed since May 2014, in a kind of weird way–what this says about the buyers’ market or changes in uranium supply I cannot say. They’re also selling new material. Means new health data, naturally.

I also don’t remember them having CPM marked as spreads, certainly with such a range. Or is that normal for spec’ing uranium ore casually?

$39.95 Uranium Ore (500 CPM - 1,000 CPM)  
$74.95 Uranium Ore (1000 CPM - 2,000 CPM)  
$120.00 Uranium Ore (High - Over 2,000 CPM)

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**Author:** ![jasg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@jasg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasg)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/47 "2015-11-14T00:04:47Z")

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I suspect the biggest problem would be trying to get through a TSA checkpoint 😃

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**Author:** ![ZurBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/71e660/32.png) [@ZurBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZurBob)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/48 "2015-11-14T05:58:14Z")

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> [@Leo\_Bloom](#):
>
> Uranium ore, you can [buy it](http://www.imagesco.com/geiger/uranium-ore.html) at [del]$25.00[/del] $24.95.
> 
> Same question goes for the more potent stuff, at $150.00  
> Interested mostly in effect of radiation. Half-life probably not an issue as a purchasing decision. No doubt other effects will be suggested.

The short answer is death.

I suggest you and the respondents to your inane query temper your notions… The grand humor here eludes me.

There is nothing original in the question, nor is there anything notably clever in any reply so far.

Chronic exposure at the levels you suggest have caused many deaths in the industry of uranium enrichment since the 1940s, and your trivializing of this situation is not appreciated.

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**Author:** ![coremelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@coremelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coremelt)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/49 "2015-11-14T06:05:44Z")

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> [@ZurBob](#):
>
> Chronic exposure at the levels you suggest have caused many deaths in the industry of uranium enrichment since the 1940s, and your trivializing of this situation is not appreciated.

This is a site dedicated to fighting ignorance. Raw uranium ore is not particularly dangerous and carrying a chunk of it close to your body for a period of time would take a very long time to have effects.  
[http://talknuclear.ca/2014/08/just-how-radioactive-is-uranium-ore/](http://talknuclear.ca/2014/08/just-how-radioactive-is-uranium-ore/)

People working in mining or enrichment might be exposed to minute airborne particles and/or be exposed to substances more dangerous than raw ore, but thats got nothing to do with the question being asked.

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**Author:** ![Isilder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Isilder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isilder)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/50 "2015-11-14T10:13:46Z")

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> [@ZurBob](#):
>
> Chronic exposure at the levels you suggest have caused many deaths in the industry of uranium enrichment since the 1940s, and your trivializing of this situation is not appreciated.

Oh I disagree … my childrens school noticed their gardens were warm, and they were sitting on them to keep warm. Thanks to this question, I will notify the Richland, WA school board immediately to stop them sitting on it, and rather use the gardens for growing vegetables (like in a greenhouse.)

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**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\
**Post date:** [November 14, 2015, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-put-this-uranium-ore-down-my-underpants-what-would-happen/687980/51 "2015-11-14T16:17:42Z")

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> [@ZurBob](#):
>
> The short answer is death.
> 
> I suggest you and the respondents to your inane query temper your notions… The grand humor here eludes me.
> 
> There is nothing original in the question, nor is there anything notably clever in any reply so far.
> 
> Chronic exposure at the levels you suggest have caused many deaths in the industry of uranium enrichment since the 1940s, and your trivializing of this situation is not appreciated.

Inane queries in SD?  
Clever but not notably so replies in SD?  
Unappreciated trivialization in SD?

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