# If I Use The 'B' Word On The Internet, Will The FBI Tap My Phone? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 5, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135 "2003-08-05T15:33:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/21 "2003-08-05T20:39:02Z")
Before everyone gets too paranoid, even if the FBI/NSA/MiB are monitoring every spoken and typed word via some gargantuan data mining program (and that’s a big if), what ends up happening is that some overworked analyst will get a slip of paper (or screenshot) with this thread and s/he will move it off his desk and into the round file as fast as possible so s/he can see his/her kid/boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/all-of-the-above sometime within the current decade. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/22 "2003-08-06T01:02:37Z")
The blue dog is barking at midnight. Repeat, the blue dog is barking at midnight. If the rutabega farmer plants cabbage, microwave the popcorn immediately. ---
**Author:** ![Doc\_Nickel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@Doc\_Nickel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Nickel)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/23 "2003-08-06T01:11:46Z")
That’s the _second_ reference to rutabegas in one thread. Veeeerrry _suspicious_… ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/24 "2003-08-06T01:17:36Z")
You would’ve been fine with ‘bomb’, but then you had to mention the Eff Bee Eye. ---
**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/25 "2003-08-06T01:25:51Z")
Anyway, the Echelon System would [BOMB] only be [SEMTEX] used [WHITE HOUSE] as a first [I’M MUSLIM AND HATE YANKIES]method of preliminary screening [TUESDAY, 9PM, NEXT TO THE TACO STAND] What, oh yes. I’ll remember to [I’LL BE WEARING A RED CARNATION] buy some milk home. ---
**Author:** ![cheddarsnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cheddarsnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheddarsnax)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/26 "2003-08-06T02:22:41Z")
D\_Odds is with the feds. Semtex. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/27 "2003-08-06T02:29:50Z")
Actually, I’m with CONTROL. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/28 "2003-08-06T03:14:43Z")
If CONTROL’s control is absolute why does CONTROL need to control? ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/29 "2003-08-06T03:22:28Z")
What did you said, Larry? the cone of silence is working funny lately… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/30 "2003-08-06T10:02:21Z")
No one has yet mentioned this red flag: “assasinate” FBI/CSIS/NSA/CIA/MiB/JTF\*and that wierd guy down the street can KMA… ---
**Author:** ![Mycroft\_Holmes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a5b964/32.png) [@Mycroft\_Holmes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mycroft_Holmes)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/31 "2003-08-06T11:45:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doc Nickel \* > \*\*That’s the _second_ reference to rutabegas in one thread. > > Veeeerrry _suspicious_… \*\* Especially if we consider the fact that the vegetable of that name is actually spelled **rutabaga**. From Merriam-Webster online: Main Entry: ru·ta·ba·ga Pronunciation: "rü-t&-'bA-g&, “ru-, -'be-; 'rü-t&-”, 'ru- Function: noun Etymology: Swedish dialect rotabagge, from rot root + bagge bag Date: 1799 : a turnip (Brassica napus napobrassica) that usually produces a large yellowish root Maybe they’re using some kind of code even we at NSA haven’t fig… What?..Oh, that’s right… I was kidding. I don’t work at NSA, but for the green grocer down the street. Sorry about the mixup, but it is definitely spelled **rutabaga** , and it makes for a great side order. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/32 "2003-08-06T12:22:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mycroft Holmes \* > \*\*Especially if we consider the fact that the vegetable of that name is actually spelled **rutabaga**. > > From Merriam-Webster online: > > Main Entry: ru·ta·ba·ga > Pronunciation: "rü-t&-'bA-g&, “ru-, -'be-; 'rü-t&-”, 'ru- > Function: noun > Etymology: Swedish dialect rotabagge, from rot root + bagge bag > Date: 1799 > : a turnip (Brassica napus napobrassica) that usually produces a large yellowish root > > Maybe they’re using some kind of code even we at NSA haven’t fig… What?..Oh, that’s right… I was kidding. I don’t work at NSA, but for the green grocer down the street. Sorry about the mixup, but it is definitely spelled **rutabaga** , and it makes for a great side order. \*\* **Mycroft** , _all_ root vegatables are subversive. Its the principle of the thing that counts. ---
**Author:** ![Achilles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dc4da7/32.png) [@Achilles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achilles)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/33 "2003-08-06T12:24:59Z")
What happened to good old “Charlie don’t surf.” ? ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/34 "2003-08-06T13:14:11Z")
> [@](#): > > No one has yet mentioned this red flag: “assasinate” That might not be flagged, even though it is suspiciously close to the word _assassinate_. ---
**Author:** ![smam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@smam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smam)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/35 "2003-08-06T13:33:12Z")
The 1920’s style " Ray-Gun " will be the weapon of choice tonight at 10 Downing Street, Balaclavas will be provided by FCUK . ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/36 "2003-08-06T13:40:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by smam \* > \*\*The 1920’s style " Ray-Gun " will be the weapon of choice tonight at 10 Downing Street, Balaclavas will be provided by FCUK . \*\* Not… the Flapper Zapper?! ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/37 "2003-08-06T14:21:47Z")
Doesn’t common sense say that they’d at least google for “bomb asassination president”? just in case? 🙂 And if they found a serious message, why wouldn’t they tap your phone? And if it’s obviously a coincidence, why would they? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/38 "2003-08-06T14:30:30Z")
If this site belonged to the Boeing Co or probably any Co with milatary contracts, your question wouldn’t be read by anyone. Not because of physical threats, but threats to their computers. When I was sick, I e-mailed my husband at work to tell him what the doctor said. Because I used the word “virus” in the text, it was rejected. when I talked to him later he told me there’s an extensive list that of words (including yours) that are auto rejected. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/39 "2003-08-06T14:37:04Z")
Laraby, tap **Shade** ’s phone immediately. No, not that kind of tap - plant a bug on it. What kind of a bug? An electronic one, of course. No, I don’t mean a lightning bug. I don’t care if you used to catch lightning bugs as a boy, Laraby. They won’t know the phone is bugged because you’re NOT putting a lightning bug in the phone. Just set it up to silently record all of his phone conversations, Laraby. I did say so in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135/40 "2003-08-06T14:37:24Z")
On the other hand, I suppose everything on the internet (like this) is certainly kept on disc somewhere by someone. Even NSA someones. Emails are (less) probably kept on disc by ISPs at least. I presume that in 30 years or so biograhers will have access to all sorts of 'lectronic documentation of our lives. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-use-the-b-word-on-the-internet-will-the-fbi-tap-my-phone/193135.md?page=3)