# If I was a Porn star my name would be............. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 22, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674 "2003-11-22T13:59:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/61 "2003-11-25T06:57:34Z")
Jeannie Deep Creek :eek: ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/62 "2003-11-25T07:01:55Z")
Or the Pornalizer says Lolita Lovedoll. Both work I’m thinking ---
**Author:** ![LowerLip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/839c29/32.png) [@LowerLip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LowerLip)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/63 "2003-11-25T09:07:35Z")
wait wait here it comes… _ **The Ejackulator** _ ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/64 "2003-11-25T09:19:45Z")
The Pornalizer gives me Penny Passion The pet/street combo gives me either Halloween Pacific or Weenie Pacific, depending on whether I go for the cat’s full name or his nickname. ---
**Author:** ![Sanscour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@Sanscour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanscour)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/65 "2003-11-25T10:53:10Z")
Bow before the awesome might of the one… The ONLY… **Clive Cockster!!** _walks up to Misstee_ How **you** doin??? Sanscour ---
**Author:** ![murky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@murky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/murky)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/66 "2003-11-25T15:15:16Z")
Pornalizer gives me Nikky Foxhole. pet name + street = Butterscotch Pawnee. ---
**Author:** ![Kyann22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a4c791/32.png) [@Kyann22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyann22)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/67 "2003-11-25T18:50:15Z")
Vivian Vamp Much more exciting than my real name. Hmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/68 "2003-11-25T19:00:24Z")
Damond Drillbit…? ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/69 "2003-11-25T19:10:54Z")
Pet’s name - street: Misty Marion I suppose that could work, except that I’m not a woman. I guess I’m limited to chicks-with-dicks type stuff. Pornalizer gives me “Danny Doggy”. What the hell is that? ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/70 "2003-11-25T19:37:07Z")
Pet name + street = Kermit Pine I don’t think so. I much prefer the name given to me by some friends of mine when they heard that Mrs. D and I were having child #4: “Joe the Empregnator” It sounds so much more grand. ---
**Author:** ![TheInterruptingCow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9c0ed/32.png) [@TheInterruptingCow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheInterruptingCow)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/71 "2003-11-25T19:53:57Z")
Pet name plus street = Snuffy Washington. I prefer the one I found on the shipping dock at work. Henceforth, I wish to be addressed as… **Max Load** ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/72 "2003-11-25T22:20:25Z")
pet/street: Sarah Carniel middle name/street: Wilder Carniel but my favorite has been one that my friends came up with long ago… Kiki DuNord It just works… ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/73 "2003-11-26T00:15:56Z")
Unbelievable! ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/74 "2003-11-26T00:23:02Z")
Rod Rapture Dick O’Delight ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/75 "2003-11-26T09:23:49Z")
Another Ricky Lovenuts checking in. Though I rather prefer, Dick Long. Or even, Hugh Johnson. But that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/76 "2003-11-26T11:52:13Z")
The pet/street method would work great if I were female: Kina Summer. Middle name / street: Charles Summer. Hmm… better. Middle name / first car: Charles Festiva. I like it. The Pornalizer has dubbed me Jake Jizzpump. Nahhh. My choice: Jack Redbone ---
**Author:** ![esquimalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@esquimalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/esquimalt)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/77 "2003-11-26T20:00:17Z")
Carl Cumsalot ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/78 "2003-11-27T02:02:06Z")
Hugh Mongoose and the pet/street name = Ranger Idlewild (which I kind of like) ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/79 "2003-11-28T06:29:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SanguineSpider \* > \*\*My pals and I had the Middle name/Street name porn name game. And I’d be: > > **Anne Wethersfield** > > With the pet/street, I’d be Baily Wethersfield. I’m liking Bonnie Blew more and more. \*\* Since a wether is a castrated male sheep or goat, Homer Hardon (that’s me) would assuredly be leery of working with someone named Wethersfield. Using the middle name-street name options, I’d be either Lawrence Warwick (sounds like a tweedy Oxbridge boffin), Lawrence Hunter (good “meat and potatoes” American name), or Lawrence Columbia (as if I were a recent immigrant who saw a “10 CD’s for a penny” Columbia House ad and decided to change my six-consonant, one-vowel surname to something my new countrymen could easily pronounce). Never had a pet, so that avenue’s closed to me. [This tune](http://www.nps.gov/gett/gettkidz/gkmusic/cwsong4.htm) would be a natural theme for Bonnie Blew’s films, and imagine the liberties a wordsmith could take with the lyrics! _Hurrah, hurrah, she truly is the best! Hurrah for the Bonnie Blew chick who bares a single breast!_ ---
**Author:** ![gyt\_fx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@gyt\_fx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gyt_fx)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2003, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674/80 "2003-11-28T06:44:08Z")
Tommy Scott Wood (My actual last name is Wood…) (Long running joke that I wish to change my middle name to Scott[If you don’t get it your about as think as kelso from that 70s show and the real jessica simpson]) (And my middle name is a lot cooler) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-was-a-porn-star-my-name-would-be/214674.md?page=5)