# If I went to SDMB Headquarters... **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [July 29, 2005, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811 "2005-07-29T21:34:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/1 "2005-07-29T21:34:47Z")
What would I find? Would there be a control room with heretofore faceless mods and administrators constantly scanning the boards for trouble? Do they hurl their _Reader_ coffee mugs at each other arguing over whether a poster should be banned? Would there be a 19-year old IT intern asleep at a single workstation? Would I find myself in a glorified closet somewhere in Chicago (or Bangalore) looking at a server rack? In other words, how physical is our central nervous system? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/2 "2005-07-29T21:47:42Z")
All you would find left is a small puddle of goo. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/3 "2005-07-29T22:41:14Z")
Actually, we all have those flashy-things, like Tommy Lee Jones in _Men in Black_. **IF** you got in, you’d wake up in a park, nekkid, with your underwear around your ankles, babbling about goats. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/4 "2005-07-29T22:43:46Z")
Prolly a room full of hamsters running on wheels. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/5 "2005-07-29T23:14:11Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > All you would find left is a small puddle of goo. Yes, but in that puddle a bunch of amino acids are starting to form the first protein. It’s quite fascinating, really. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/6 "2005-07-30T07:07:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Would I find myself in a glorified closet somewhere in Chicago (or Bangalore) looking at a server rack? Bingo! (Metro Chicago–the exact location shall remain secret.) The Mods and Admins tend to hang out in their own homes, scattered across the world, dodging questions from progeny and nasty looks and tart comments from spouses and SOs. (There _are_ goats, but they are located in Deb’s barns and I only have to get up and feed them a couple of times a day. Putting up hay or mucking stalls takes longer, but is not a daily occurrence.) ---
**Author:** ![klintypooh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3da27b/32.png) [@klintypooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klintypooh)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/7 "2005-07-30T12:36:59Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > **IF** you got in, you’d wake up in a park, nekkid, with your underwear around your ankles, babbling about goats. Aaaaah, Sunday mornings. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/8 "2005-07-30T17:10:31Z")
It’s like the Fortress of Solitude . . . only cooler. your humble TubaDiva ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/9 "2005-07-30T19:50:51Z")
First one to say that the Fortress of Solitude is at the North Pole and it’s hard to get cooler than that, will earn a demerit. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/10 "2005-07-31T04:19:57Z")
And here I was picturing it like the Batcave, only cooler… ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/11 "2005-07-31T05:56:16Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > It’s like the Fortress of Solitude . . . only cooler. But the Fortress of Solitude is at the North Pole and it’s hard to get cooler than that. ZING!!! Hahahaha, I am a true champ!!! ---
**Author:** ![Call\_me\_Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Call\_me\_Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Call_me_Frank)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/12 "2005-07-31T06:40:14Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > Actually, we all have those flashy-things, like Tommy Lee Jones in _Men in Black_. > > **IF** you got in, you’d wake up in a park, nekkid, with your underwear around your ankles, babbling about goats. Wow, so that’s what happened… any chance on getting the pants back or no? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/13 "2005-07-31T07:17:42Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > It’s like the Fortress of Solitude . . . only cooler. > > your humble TubaDiva _Looks at his location, gets irate_ _Looks at **Tuba** ’s post, and sees she specified Soli **t** ude_ Nevermind… ---
**Author:** ![MizQuirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@MizQuirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizQuirk)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/14 "2005-07-31T16:23:24Z")
Interesting question in the OP. That, and the answers so far, make me wonder if any of the mods have met (in person) all the other mods, or some of the other mods, or another mod or two, or none at all . . . And if every one of the mods has visited the hdqts at some time or other. I don’t mean for anyone to mention names here. Just curious. Really. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/15 "2005-07-31T16:43:12Z")
NO, yes, yes, yes, no. And I didn’t mention names. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/16 "2005-07-31T19:19:28Z")
> [@MizQuirk](#): > > Interesting question in the OP. That, and the answers so far, make me wonder if any of the mods have met (in person) all the other mods, or some of the other mods, or another mod or two, or none at all . . . And if every one of the mods has visited the hdqts at some time or other. I don’t mean for anyone to mention names here. Am _I_ allowed to name names? Because I know that **Dr. Matrix** and **Cajun Man** were an item, so I know they’ve met. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/17 "2005-07-31T19:52:16Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > NO, yes, yes, yes, no. > > And I didn’t mention names. What he said. your humble TubaDiva ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/18 "2005-07-31T19:56:13Z")
I’m left wondering if they have to learn a Super-Secret Mod Handshake before they’re allowed into HQ. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/19 "2005-07-31T19:56:55Z")
I thought the Fortress of Solitude was at the South Pole. Was I misinformed? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811/20 "2005-07-31T20:14:54Z")
> [@MizQuirk](#): > > Interesting question in the OP. That, and the answers so far, make me wonder if any of the mods have met (in person) all the other mods, or some of the other mods, or another mod or two, or none at all . . . And if every one of the mods has visited the hdqts at some time or other. I don’t mean for anyone to mention names here. > > Just curious. > > Really. We have supersecret ModFests, where we get…ummmm…comfortable, eat too much, drink too much, and play nude air hockey. It’s all way too much excitement for me, though I enjoyed hanging out with the others. One problem is that they expect me to be awake during DAYLIGHT hours. I don’t work that way. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-went-to-sdmb-headquarters/314811.md?page=2)