# If I were God, things would be different around here! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [December 20, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980 "2009-12-20T19:54:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/21 "2009-12-21T06:45:35Z")
Also, smoking would be good for you. ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/22 "2009-12-21T06:55:31Z")
If I were God I’d smite the whole lot of you. Sinners! ---
**Author:** ![Snag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Snag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snag)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/23 "2009-12-21T07:21:29Z")
> [@Chief\_Pedant](#): > > Perhaps you could make a small start by following Jainism right now. > > You must be the change you want to see in the world. Now, I’m not endorsing any particular form of worship. Though if they walk the walk they may be some mighty nice people. They are defininately in the wrong universe. ---
**Author:** ![Snag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Snag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snag)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/24 "2009-12-21T07:24:56Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Very difficult. Tweak things even the tiniest bit, and the universe doesn’t work. > > Sorry, God, but you’ll have to go to the back of the class! Ah sir, a bit of the snark there, though some might say all I need to do is but say the Word… Indeed though, I have a hunch that even a god might need to do the work for results. That’s a discussion in itself I hope to see in the thread. Some might say, “Not so”. I’d like to hear their reasoning. But who is to say such tweaks wouldn’t possible to an experienced deity? ---
**Author:** ![Snag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Snag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snag)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/25 "2009-12-21T07:26:15Z")
> [@toodlepip](#): > > Good for you, it’s about time someone took charge of things round here. When do your new rules kick in? It’s just that I have some venison in the freezer, and it’d be a shame to let it go to waste. Also, I’m curing some meat at the moment, and it won’t be ready to eat for another few weeks. If I won’t be allowed to eat it, I’ll just save myself the bother of salting it. Hey, if this was for real for just a little while, you’d all win the lottery. You could have your venison and eat it too. Buy your tickets before the end of the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Snag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Snag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snag)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/26 "2009-12-21T07:48:57Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > Not just that, but really, an ideal world is one where there is no want. Everyone gets everything and has no reason to interfere with or harm another. No one is ever harmed by others or nature or mishap. An omnipotent deity could just as easily create a world and a people who were like that. But at the same time, what do those people do except for sit around staring into some beautiful bliss? In the most merciful world, you don’t have to work for food. In that world you don’t have to find the right channel on TV to watch. You don’t even have to experience TV as a 3rd person experience. Except, if everything is perfect, then you don’t need TV because it can’t be better. Essentially, all there is is sitting and experiencing bliss. > > Anything less than the direct experience of eternal bliss is less than absolute mercy and kindness. But it’s also meaningless to create such a system. Going around and creating little bubbles of bliss floating in the middle of space where nothing can or ever will happen achieves nothing. You can do so to feel good about yourself, I suppose, but people who never existed wouldn’t have complained for not having a blissfull life either. And there’s no end to it if your goal is to create the maximum amount of bliss. Once you’ve created an infinite number of bliss bubbles, where can you really go to from there? > > No, a natural ant-farm that develops on its own with perhaps only the most minimal of interaction to see how it reacts, that’s the only way to do anything that’s interesting at all. Maybe the ants will achieve perfect bliss on their own. Though of course, if they do, you have to start all over again. How does anyone know what bliss would be like in the universe? You wouldn’t know what you’re missing from here. Your standards would be different. But if you want bliss, challenges? Fine, life can have games and everyone competes for valuable prizes! Now maybe in the end I see to it that everyone gets a prize, though the real competitors could compete for the entertainment of all. We could have leagues! I’d probably catch the major league games. I could add some minor stresses into existence as well. That’s probably physically required. After all, even music needs tension and dissonance to resolve back to a rest state to be functional at length. It doesn’t need to be total bliss, some skinned knees might happen. But the really bad stuff wouldn’t happen. nor would it likely be imaginable. I think. Plus the sex would be really great. And I suppose I would allow enough randomness in the universe to keep things interesting for us all, without a defined outcomes. That might be a blessing in itself. Also, for the sake of argument, what if all the ‘machinery’ is in place and all I need to do, like Q from Star Trek: The Next Generation or Superman’s Mr. Mxyzptlk, is to have a whim, speak it, and I’m done? I might not really care about y’all that much, not really. I might create each universe as a daily affirmation. Who says I’m going to even look back once I’ve started one? Though I think I’d still be hella nicer than those other guys, the bastards. So long as I know it will be a nice ride for everyone, and everything would be OK if I step away, I may not be back for eons, if at all. ---
**Author:** ![Snag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Snag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snag)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/27 "2009-12-21T07:51:36Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Yours would be a world without Looney Tunes, and hence, much inferior to the one we live in. What’s so merciful about that? Uh oh. That’s a cogent point. But wait a minute. They can fall off a cliff already and not get hurt, so it’s not that different… ---
**Author:** ![Snag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Snag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snag)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/28 "2009-12-21T07:53:11Z")
> [@DrCube](#): > > I imagine it would suck pretty bad to get eaten even if you’re just a stalk of wheat. You spend your whole existence struggling to eke out a slice of life, sucking up the meager rays of sun you catch when you can, trying to take root in some harsh soil, slurping up what little water you can get and attempting to hold on to it during the dry times, and once you finally get somewhat settled, you get uprooted and ground to bits between some cow’s nasty teeth, then slowly dissolved in several stomachs with breaks in between for more teeth grinding. No, hunger and eating would not be necessary if I were a god. I would think plants have relatively little reaction to pain. Nor do they even think medulla oblongata style I suppose. What would the purpose be for pain to evolve? It motivates mobile creatures to avoid situations but a plant will likely never be moved. And I’d make sure that all the parts which provide nourishment are apart from the main body of the plants and that it tickles when they loose a leaf or have a nut plucked from them. Your concern has been duly noted. Myself, I’m hooked on eating, I think it’s one of the nicest things in life and I’d want to pass it along. It would be all symbiotic and stuff, trust me, it would be nice. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/29 "2009-12-21T08:12:09Z")
I’d create everyone in a universe-sized, Matrix style world simulation, where they get to be immortal gods essentially; one where they have a great deal of access to the controls. No worries about the laws of physics. If you like competition, you set up your own subworld with more competitive rules and convince others to join you; if you don’t, you can play lotus eater. Pain and other negative sensations would have a low, hard limit on their intensity to the extent they even existed. I’d tweak their drives to make them more self motivated to make up for the lack of negative stimuli. New people would come about when two or more others desired it, and be the product of a recombination of copies of their minds instead of their genes; “born” fully adult and self sufficient. I don’t like the whole concept of children being born nearly blank and helpless. There would be eating and sex and other human pleasures; plus new ones they can invent as they tweak the system and modify themselves. There would be no need to kill or hurt anything for food or anything else; nonsentient background simulants would serve for that. “NPCs”, basically. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/30 "2009-12-21T13:13:36Z")
All I know is, if I were god, marketing people and singers who use Auto-Tune would be instantly smitten. Smote. Zapped. And lo, there would be much rejoicing. ---
**Author:** ![adhay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@adhay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhay)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/31 "2009-12-21T13:57:26Z")
Creation is perfect as it is and to suggest improvements, blasphemous. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/32 "2009-12-21T14:24:10Z")
> [@adhay](#): > > Creation is perfect as it is and to suggest improvements, blasphemous. Oh yeah? Then what were the dinosaurs, then, a beta test? Bah. If it was, the current lack of [announced](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_%28paranormal%29) [features](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triceratops) and certain other [bugs](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pi) in the final version of reality clearly indicates that the developer pushed out an unfinished product just to meet the release date. Amateurish, unprofessional work. 'Probably just out-bid the other studios on the property license because of the savings they made slashing their own testing budget. ---
**Author:** ![adhay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@adhay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhay)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/33 "2009-12-21T14:39:50Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Oh yeah? Then what were the dinosaurs, then, a beta test? > > Bah. If it was, the current lack of [announced](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_%28paranormal%29) [features](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triceratops) and certain other [bugs](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pi) in the final version of reality clearly indicates that the developer pushed out an unfinished product just to meet the release date. Amateurish, unprofessional work. 'Probably just out-bid the other studios on the property license because of the savings they made slashing their own testing budget. We must bear in mind that the nature of form is to change, the nature of Spirit, to be. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/34 "2009-12-21T14:49:31Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Oh yeah? Then what were the dinosaurs, then, a beta test? > > Bah. If it was, the current lack of [announced](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_%28paranormal%29) [features](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triceratops) and certain other [bugs](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pi) in the final version of reality clearly indicates that the developer pushed out an unfinished product just to meet the release date. Amateurish, unprofessional work. 'Probably just out-bid the other studios on the property license because of the savings they made slashing their own testing budget. It should be noted that a [patch](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus) was pushed out but seems to have been terminated then corrupted by the virtual environment, engendering a fairly aggressive virus. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/35 "2009-12-21T16:01:15Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > It should be noted that a [patch](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus) was pushed out but seems to have been terminated then corrupted by the virtual environment, engendering a fairly aggressive virus. Gads, the patches…don’t get me STARTED on the [localization](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:4223-20080119-0633UTC--nazareth-church-of-the-annunciation-japanese-madonna.jpg) and [cross](http://hesedweemet.wordpress.com/2009/11/04/imaging-jesus/)-[platform](http://mikematei.deviantart.com/art/Super-Mecha-Death-Christ-2000-111377690) quagmire they’ve managed to dig themselves into. > [@adhay](#): > > We must bear in mind that the nature of form is to change, the nature of Spirit, to be. Ah, got it. It’s not a _bug_, it’s a _feature_…except when the end-users think up something the dev team didn’t, and then it’s a game breaker. 'Natch. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/36 "2009-12-21T16:05:26Z")
I hear there’s a [community open source project](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaballah) that’s trying to reverse engineer the whole thing and get a peek at the source code, but thus far it hasn’t been able to tweak much. Everything seems hard-coded and very mod unfriendly. Crummy design. ---
**Author:** ![Snag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Snag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snag)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/37 "2009-12-21T16:15:58Z")
> [@adhay](#): > > Creation is perfect as it is and to suggest improvements, blasphemous. That is an unfounded opinion without a shred of proof. Are you saying we blaspheme every time a new molecule is chemically created which does not exist in nature? Is Kevlar immoral? ---
**Author:** ![Snag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Snag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snag)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/38 "2009-12-21T16:22:22Z")
> [@adhay](#): > > We must bear in mind that the nature of form is to change, the nature of Spirit, to be. Well how is it that we mere humans can in our finite knowledge can imagine a better nature than an infinite deity could create? Doesn’t that lead one to suspect that deity does sloppy work? If the deity truly cared, the deity would do the very best they could, as you might do for your children. If creation were perfect, there would be no room for improvement. Yet we improve many aspects of the world around us all the time. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/39 "2009-12-21T16:38:23Z")
> [@adhay](#): > > Creation is perfect as it is and to suggest improvements, blasphemous. :dubious: Sounds like the old chest nut that anesthesia should not be used because pain was supposed to be our punishment, As god did not punish us all for using anesthesia and pain killers, I think it is silly to propose that we should not use our intelligence to continue to make improvements. > **[CNET: Product reviews, advice, how-tos and the latest news](https://www.cnet.com/)** > > Get full-length product reviews, the latest news, tech coverage, daily deals, and category deep dives from CNET experts worldwide. > [@](#): > > Returning to the notion that exponential growth in the power of computer devices will affect everything else, Kurzweil explained how previously unrelated fields will essentially become information technology fields. For instance, in the field of medicine, an artificial red blood cell called a respirocyte could eventually duplicate the work of the real thing, but with 1,000 times the efficiency. > > “Biology is very capable and intricate and clever,” Kurzweil said, “ **but it’s also very suboptimal, compared to what we ultimately can build with information technology and nanotechnology** …If you were to replace a portion of your blood with these respirocytes, you could do an Olympic sprint for 15 minutes without taking a breath or sit at the bottom of your pool for four hours.” ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/40 "2009-12-21T16:41:19Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > I hear there’s a [community open source project](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaballah) that’s trying to reverse engineer the whole thing and get a peek at the source code, but thus far it hasn’t been able to tweak much. Everything seems hard-coded and very mod unfriendly. Crummy design. Seriously…it’s like the original programmer had never heard of REM statements. No documentation except for a bunch of loose notes taken by His students. Someone DID bind them into a study guide eventually, but it’s still all but incoherent and contradictory. Shoulda had a good digital voice recorder on them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980.md?page=3)