# If I were God, things would be different around here! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [December 20, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980 "2009-12-20T19:54:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Snag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Snag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snag)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/41 "2009-12-21T16:58:52Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > :dubious: > > … I think it is silly to propose that we should not use our intelligence to continue to make improvements. Yeah, otherwise known by parents around the world as our “using our God-given brains”? ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/42 "2009-12-21T19:24:18Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Seriously…it’s like the original programmer had never heard of REM statements. No documentation except for a bunch of loose notes taken by His students. Someone DID bind them into a study guide eventually, but it’s still all but incoherent and contradictory. Shoulda had a good digital voice recorder on them. Well, to be fair, the guy did work in wonky conditions. Had to write his own OS and compilers, boot-strap everything because the existing infrastructure was seriously lacking and the drivers were simply non existant, he did come up with some nifty self-replicating, self-updating apps, and the graphics are gorgeous. You hafta give him that much. It’s still a half-assed effort that could have done with a lot more polish, but there’s some salvageable code in there. I have high hopes for the sequel, now that he’s got some experience under his belt and got lots of feedback. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/43 "2009-12-21T19:52:01Z")
> [@Snag](#): > > And explosions. I’d do away with those too. Suns exploding, tectonic plates ripping apart… No, no, no, no, no! I’d find a way for similar processes to occur but less violently. Perhaps a sort of slow change-over from state to state. And then, an efficient but pleasant delivery system to do the work that nova suns, gravity, radioactivity and similar forces do to enable a vibrant universe. Well, I’d have nothing to live for in such a universe. How boring ☹ ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/44 "2009-12-21T20:44:25Z")
> [@adhay](#): > > Creation is perfect as it is and to suggest improvements, blasphemous. On the slight chance you’re being genuine here: Have you met my friend [Dr. Pangloss](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Pangloss)? Our ears and nose are at just the right level for holding our eyeglasses, and our legs are obviously built for accommodating pantaloons? And our bodies are perfectly designed for spreading HIV and incubating cancer. And man, nothing starves to death quite as nicely as an African child! ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2009, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980/45 "2009-12-27T06:15:57Z")
I’d like to be a spiteful, smiteful god with passive-aggressive tendencies—I think that’s the only way to assure forced unconditional love from my sentient creations. I’d play embarrassing practical jokes on them, like spontaneously voiding their bowels on airplanes, to keep them on their toes and amuse myself. I’d sprinkle in a few rewards like eliminating sharp edges, spiders, parking tickets and plagues just to demonstrate how nice I can be when properly worshipped and adored. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-god-things-would-be-different-around-here/521980.md?page=2)