# If I were the Chairman of Radical Islam Worldwide
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [April 5, 2004, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356 "2004-04-05T14:28:30Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/1 "2004-04-05T14:28:30Z")
1. I would call for the complete cessation of hostilities in Israel. Then after the Israelis are lulled into a sense of security and we have built up our armaments and strengths we can unleash armagedon on the Jews.
2. I would call for the complete cessation of hostilities in Iraq. Then when the Americans are gone, we can rip up the constitution, and engage the Shiites to turn our stashed weapons onto the Jews when our brothers in Palistine are ready.
3. Ditto for Afghanistan
4. But I’d continue the sport in Europe, Indonesia and the Phillipines. Keep the troops sharp you see.
5. As for America, I’d set up a whole whack of mosques and madrassas in Mexico first.
The sun will never set on Islam again.
Seems to me that Obl is really no smarter than Bush.
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### Author:  [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/2 "2004-04-05T14:35:06Z")
I’d write a post like the OP.
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### Author:  [@Eli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eli)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/3 "2004-04-05T15:10:26Z")
> [@grienspace](#):
>
> 1. I would call for the complete cessation of hostilities in Israel. Then after the Israelis are lulled into a sense of security and we have built up our armaments and strengths we can unleash armagedon on the Jews.
They called it “The Oslo Accords”.
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### Author:  [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/4 "2004-04-05T15:16:29Z")
**grienspace** , So, we are talking about genocide here right? Either that, or this is some sort of a joke that I am not getting. Either way, I think that I can state without fear of contradiction that this thread was a bad idea and will probably end in tears.
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### Author:  [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/5 "2004-04-05T15:20:39Z")
This ain’t Something Awful, so I feel safe saying:
what
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### Author:  [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/6 "2004-04-05T15:36:43Z")
Is grienspace looking to flame out before his guest account expires or what?
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/7 "2004-04-05T16:40:11Z")
> [@Desmostylus](#):
>
> If I was a stupid bigoted motherfucker… I’d write a post like the OP.
So, because he condemns the violence of Islamic fundamentalist extremists he is a stupid bigoted motherfucker? And what do you call real bigots? Soulmate?
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### Author:  [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/8 "2004-04-05T17:00:40Z")
> [@Libertarian](#):
>
> So, because he condemns the violence of Islamic fundamentalist extremists he is a stupid bigoted motherfucker? And what do you call real bigots? Soulmate?
One of us is not reading the OP correctly. My reading of the OP is that he is advocating more efficient violence. How is it that you are reading this?
Now, I am willing to admit that it is possible that the OP is engaging in some strange hyperbole in response to some thread or event for which no link was provided but if I take the OP at face value it really seems like a proposed plan for wiping out the Jews, and eventually Europeans and Americans.
What is your take?
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### Author:  [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/9 "2004-04-05T17:06:08Z")
> [@](#):
>
> So, because he condemns the violence of Islamic fundamentalist extremists he is a stupid bigoted motherfucker?
No, he’s a SBM because he equates all of Islam with the sort of thing that al-Qaida is doing. Not to mention the idiotic crack about how Mexico is supposed to become Islamic all of a sudden.
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/10 "2004-04-05T17:08:53Z")
My take is that he whoreslapped George Bush. And I mean good.
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### Author:  [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/11 "2004-04-05T17:12:50Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#):
>
> No, he’s a SBM because he equates all of Islam with the sort of thing that al-Qaida is doing. Not to mention the idiotic crack about how Mexico is supposed to become Islamic all of a sudden.
Doesn’t the title say “radical Islam”? I didn’t read this as a slam on “all of Islam” at all.
And, it seems moderately tongue-in-cheek. The bit about Mexico isn’t particularly offensive IMO. But, I don’t know, maybe I’m just not picking up on the nuances here.
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### Author:  [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/12 "2004-04-05T17:13:06Z")
It’s like a dumbfuck dickcheese manifesto or something…or a really lame parody. I actually am in the flameout before the grace period ends camp. I also predict lots more of these over the next two weeks.
Haj
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/13 "2004-04-05T17:16:06Z")
It isn’t lame; you just don’t get it. I think parodies like these raise the intellectual level of the SDMB. I think lowering everything so that third graders can get it does an injustice to the board.
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### Author:  [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/14 "2004-04-05T17:16:26Z")
> [@Libertarian](#):
>
> My take is that he whoreslapped George Bush. And I mean good.
What are you talking about?
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### Author:  [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/15 "2004-04-05T17:19:18Z")
> [@Libertarian](#):
>
> It isn’t lame; you just don’t get it. I think parodies like these raise the intellectual level of the SDMB. I think lowering everything so that third graders can get it does an injustice to the board.
On that front, a parody rather assumes that there is some shared context. I am not seeing that in the OP, but nice of you to dish out a backhand insult to folks that are not “getting” what I am sure is a delightfully funny OP. To be sure, that is ever so much better than anyone explaining what they are on about. Talk about doing injustice to the board.
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### Author:  [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/16 "2004-04-05T17:26:03Z")
> [@Libertarian](#):
>
> It isn’t lame; you just don’t get it. I think parodies like these raise the intellectual level of the SDMB. I think lowering everything so that third graders can get it does an injustice to the board.
That OP raises the intellectual level of this board?
Stop eating paint man.
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/17 "2004-04-05T17:29:53Z")
[…slapping forehead…] Yeah, what was I thinking? Let’s have more threads about managers who hate their customers, neighbors who play music too loud, and George fucking Bush. And less intellectual stimulation like satire.
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### Author:  [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/18 "2004-04-05T17:33:21Z")
> [@Libertarian](#):
>
> […slapping forehead…] Yeah, what was I thinking? Let’s have more threads about managers who hate their customers, neighbors who play music too loud, and George fucking Bush. And less intellectual stimulation like satire.
What is interesting here is that you seem to be trying to cling to some smug intellectually superior position. Wonderful, now if you are so smart why don’t you explain in simple English just what it is that the OP is satirizing or parodying. Assuming that you can.
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/19 "2004-04-05T17:36:29Z")
I’m not setting myself up as intellectually superior; you’re setting yourself up as intellectually dense. Did you not read the last sentence in the OP? Change the title in your mind to “If I were the President of the United States”.
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [April 5, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-i-were-the-chairman-of-radical-islam-worldwide/238356/20 "2004-04-05T17:38:07Z")
George Bush’s policies will lead to more violence in the Middle East and worldwide.
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