# If I'm ever this lazy, shoot me ( Warning: Sex. Sorta ) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072 "2003-09-27T00:02:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/1 "2003-09-27T00:02:09Z")
\*\*( \*\*\*\*\*\*Warning, link is possibly not safe for work. No nudity or sex, but adult products are featured \*\*\*\*\***)** Some things a man’s just gotta do for himself. On those grounds, I think that [this product](http://daimaoh.kir.jp/ho/menssom.htm) is just wrong. Also, think of the danger. A power surge could give new meaning to the phrase “jerking _OFF_”. (Mods, I think that this falls within the bounds of what’s allowable here, but of course I bow to your judgement if you deem it inapropriate) ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/2 "2003-09-27T00:04:45Z")
The third picture from the bottom slays me. But…but…wouldn’t this be good for preventing carpal tunnel syndrome??? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/3 "2003-09-27T00:18:36Z")
**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!** _“For when wanna cum, but are just too tired to masterbate…”_ ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/4 "2003-09-27T00:49:41Z")
My So wants to know why the bottom two pictures have a broken (apparently) umm…device. He said he wouldn’t want anything near his goodies that could break gel. ~J ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/5 "2003-09-27T01:06:49Z")
I simply must travel to Japan someday. Between that and Boonga Boonga, it sounds like a charming little country. (Of course, God only knows what impressions they’ve been getting of America…) ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/6 "2003-09-27T01:07:48Z")
> [@](#): > > _“For when wanna cum, but are just too tired to masterbate…”_ That’s a great sig line for _somebody_ to pick up… The world is stranger than can be believed at times. If I’m too tired to stroke myself, I think I can just do without for the time being. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Kieras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a87d85/32.png) [@Kieras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kieras)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/7 "2003-09-27T01:39:50Z")
Girls have Sybians… Its the male form of hands free… I like it though I wouldnt be able to use it obviously! Fair is fair. Guys get jealous of the girls Sybians 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/8 "2003-09-27T01:57:34Z")
Wow. I’m…astonished. Really amused at the demonstration of how the product expands to fit penises of girth. But I’d trust a knot in a board before that contraption. I mean, would _you_ sign up to be quality control? Do you think anyone _else_ has signed up to be quality control? And for roughly $320 bucks, I could get a _lot_ of Tijuana… Oh, right, this is a family forum. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/9 "2003-09-27T02:10:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OxyMoron \* > **And for roughly $320 bucks, I could get a _lot_ of Tijuana…** And you’d likely get a lot more than you bargained for. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DeepPurple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@DeepPurple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeepPurple)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/10 "2003-09-27T03:27:20Z")
Warning Sex??? Warning??? don’t warn me! I want those threads, on top of the page as soon as I get here!! for when I too tired to roll mouse… ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/11 "2003-09-27T04:00:33Z")
Well this raises “gadget freak” to a whole new level… Or lowers it… ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/12 "2003-09-27T04:16:45Z")
The last thing I want is something mechanical squeezing my wing wang. What if the damn thing breaks and goes all mechanical bull? ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/13 "2003-09-27T04:21:01Z")
I’m suddenly reminded of **Wang-Ka** ’s buddy with the watermelons, for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/14 "2003-09-27T04:27:19Z")
ROFL!!! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/15 "2003-09-27T04:30:54Z")
> [@](#): > > (Mods, I think that this falls within the bounds of what’s allowable here, but of course I bow to your judgement if you deem it inapropriate) I don’t know about inappropriate, but I think that is just plain WRONG. Hilarious, but WRONG. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/16 "2003-09-27T04:47:04Z")
Just keep it away from Coldfire, and I think we’ll all be okay. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/17 "2003-09-27T04:47:44Z")
Well I hope you’re happy now \*\* Weirddave \*\* , I was laughing so loud over this that I woke the LIONsob up and he grumped off to the bedroom without me ! How will I ever make it up to him ? Hmmmmm his birthday is coming up next month , BwaHahahaha ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/18 "2003-09-27T09:47:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scout1222 \* > \*\*The third picture from the bottom slays me. > > But…but…wouldn’t this be good for preventing carpal tunnel syndrome??? \*\* or hairy palms and blindness, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Herge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Herge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Herge)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/19 "2003-09-27T10:07:24Z")
Ha ha! What would happen if it tightened its grip so much that it wouldn’t come off? How do you explain that to the doctor in A&E? Its just bizarre. I mean, if a man wants to pleasure himself, and there isn’t a willing partner around, he has a perfectly good tool at the end of his arm! ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/20 "2003-09-27T10:49:16Z")
That site is hilarious! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072.md?page=2)