# If I'm ever this lazy, shoot me ( Warning: Sex. Sorta ) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072 "2003-09-27T00:02:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/21 "2003-09-27T15:13:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ayesha \* > \*\*Well I hope you’re happy now \*\* Weirddave \*\* , I was laughing so loud over this that I woke the LIONsob up and he grumped off to the bedroom without me ! How will I ever make it up to him ? > > Hmmmmm his birthday is coming up next month , BwaHahahaha \*\* I dunno, buy him some type of toy that’s going to pleasure him. I dunno where to find something like that, however, try the 'net. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/22 "2003-09-27T15:39:32Z")
I just gotta wonder: What were you looking for when you found this? 😉 If it could go to the fridge and get you a beer I’m sure some men would never leave their chair, except for bathroom breaks. If they invent **that** machine… ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/23 "2003-09-27T16:50:02Z")
According to the drawing on how to use the thing, you are supposed to leave your underwear on. ---
**Author:** ![Herge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Herge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Herge)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/24 "2003-09-27T17:24:30Z")
Wife comes home early from work, opens the living room door. “Gasp! What the HELL are you doing?” “Darling! I can explain!” ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/25 "2003-09-27T19:38:06Z")
Yuwuruguwurgh. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/26 "2003-09-27T21:14:04Z")
Hey, what do you expect from the country that has brought us Hello Kitty vibrators and tentacle porn. Not that there is anything wrong with tentacle porn, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/27 "2003-09-28T08:11:32Z")
Thanks to \*\* Kieras \*\* mentioning \*\* sybians \*\* I had to do a search to find out about them. I also found the Venus 2000, you can read all about it in their FAC here. Have fun gents. [http://www.sybian.com/venus2000\_faq.htm](http://www.sybian.com/venus2000_faq.htm) Oh yeah, if you decide to order the Venus 2000, you have to send in measurements, guess it isn’t a one size fits all type of toy. \*\* Dave \*\* LIONsob says if I try givng him one of those toys he will run away from home. I just don’t understand some men. Try to give them a hand and they don’t want it. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/28 "2003-09-28T09:07:12Z")
_snicker_ What you were trying to give was a hand _job_, hon. 😉 😉 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kieras](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a87d85/32.png) [@Kieras](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kieras)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/29 "2003-09-28T22:30:29Z")
Well Ayesha thanks to DreadCthulhu I must now go see what ‘tentacle porn’ is. Although, I am not sure I wanna know …:rolleyes: Off to Google… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![macabresoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@macabresoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/macabresoul)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/30 "2003-09-30T17:36:28Z")
Tentacle porn? oooooh i WAS wondering what that purple thing in the hand was. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/31 "2003-09-30T17:43:57Z")
Say, is that thing compatible with my car’s a/c adapter? ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/32 "2003-09-30T18:18:28Z")
On a slight hijack, a club I used to belong to had a Sybian set up in one of the party rooms at their monthly social. Quite an entertaining piece of equipment for all concerned. ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/33 "2003-09-30T19:55:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by plnnr \* > **…a club I used to belong to had a Sybian set up in one of the party rooms at their monthly social.** How come I never get invited to parties like this? And “Monthly Social” sounds so…wholesome. ---
**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/34 "2003-09-30T22:50:26Z")
So… what happens if the machine is accidently tilted to the left? Mind you, it’ll make a great hood ornament 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/35 "2003-10-01T00:24:32Z")
**Weirddave** , you’ve just justified your handle for all time. That thing is so _wrong_, on so many levels. :eek: 😃 **Rabid\_Squirrel** , I just hurt myself laughing. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072/36 "2003-10-01T02:17:30Z")
If the site wasn’t funny enough, Lynn had me pissing my pants. The SDMB is just too damned good. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-im-ever-this-lazy-shoot-me-warning-sex-sorta/204072.md?page=1)