If I'm leaking a copious amount of vile greenish fluid...

You may recall a scandal 10-12 years ago when French winemakers were found to be adulterating their white wines with ethylene glycol to make unpalatable wines sweeter. Ethylene glycol is a main ingredient in most radiator coolant/antifreezes.

BTW, if you suspect a major coolant leak, do not drive your car anywhere except to the nearest garage. This is a recipe for a seized engine, which is very expensive to fix. I had to scrap an '89 New Yorker when the cooling system completely died; the “Check engine” warning light never came on until after the engine temp warning gauge had hit the top of the scale.