# If Jack Helped YOU Off A Horse.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 4, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082 "2012-06-04T20:59:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/1 "2012-06-04T20:59:58Z")
… would you help _Jack_ off a horse? 🙂 Q ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/2 "2012-06-04T21:00:59Z")
Yeah, that was endlessly funny in Jr. High… ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/3 "2012-06-04T21:06:51Z")
My brother asked me that once, and I considered it (really!) and said, “Well _sure_! One good turn deserves another, so _sure_ I would help jack off a horse!” My bro laughed himself silly. Have I told y’all how naive I was in those days, and still am in \* these\*? I know. I’m a dumb ass. Stop reminding me!:D:D:D:D:D Q ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/4 "2012-06-04T21:11:19Z")
The Boss tells me or Jack to off somebody, it don’t matter if it’s a man, a woman, or a horse. We don’t ask no questions, we just do the job. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/5 "2012-06-04T21:17:08Z")
A semenally intelligent hitman! Love it, **Little Nemo**! Q ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/6 "2012-06-04T21:34:40Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > … would you help _Jack_ off a horse? > > 🙂 > > Q I wouldn’t. Either Jack has already gotten down from his horse in order to assist me or his horsemanship is at such a superior level that he can maintain his balance while still riding his equine. Either way, he needs no help from me. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/7 "2012-06-04T22:47:59Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > I wouldn’t. > Either Jack has already gotten down from his horse in order to assist me or his horsemanship is at such a superior level that he can maintain his balance while still riding his equine. Either way, he needs no help from me. I wish I could have thought of this reply way back yonder in the 20th Century, **Ender24**. Totally awesome! God, you made me laugh and made my day! Thank you, very much! :D:D:D:D:D Quasi ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/8 "2012-06-04T22:57:36Z")
What about Jack & Jill’s boss? He had to either lay Jill or Jack off. And then there was the humble yet honest Fuckerfaster family, with no idea what would be made of their name after emigrating to America. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2012, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/9 "2012-06-04T23:10:12Z")
**HAHAHAHAHAHA!** Great one, **Slithy Tove**! Thanks Q ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/10 "2012-06-05T02:10:52Z")
Another reason why capital letters are important. You can help your Uncle Jack off a horse or you can help your uncle jack off a horse. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/11 "2012-06-05T05:23:16Z")
But, would you help Don Corleone off a horse? ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/12 "2012-06-05T05:30:24Z")
Of course, of course! ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/13 "2012-06-05T05:52:47Z")
I’ve had the extreme misfortune of seeing some horse-on-woman porn in the past. :eek: My answer is a resounding _ **no.** _ ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/14 "2012-06-05T05:53:42Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I’ve had the extreme misfortune of seeing some horse-on-woman porn in the past. :eek: My answer is a resounding _ **no.** _ Shouldn’t that be a resounding **nay?** ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/15 "2012-06-05T13:08:14Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I’ve had the extreme misfortune of seeing some horse-on-woman porn in the past. :eek: My answer is a resounding _ **no.** _ Ah, the much-rumored Mr Ed episode. Missing all these years. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/16 "2012-06-05T13:38:54Z")
Pete and Repete sat on a fence. Pete fell off. I’ll tell this story again as many times as you’d like. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/17 "2012-06-05T13:45:14Z")
Why are we offing all these horses? What did they ever do to deserve it? ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/18 "2012-06-05T14:23:13Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Either Jack has already gotten down from his horse in order to assist me Fool of a Took, you get down from a duck. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/19 "2012-06-05T16:29:35Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > … would you help _Jack_ off a horse? > > 🙂 > > Q I wouldn’t lend a hand, no. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-jack-helped-you-off-a-horse/624082/20 "2012-06-05T19:33:02Z")
Well, Jack’s a morphadike anyway. 🙂 Q