# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/181 "2004-06-25T17:17:46Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > … > In case of fire, proceed to… The nearest large body of water and jump in. One step forward… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/182 "2004-06-25T17:21:23Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > I’d rather fight than… …a lot of things really. Exploding into a great mist of manguts is a good reason I think. > [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > One step forward… …is not the ethos of landmine disposal. For every action there is… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/183 "2004-06-25T17:28:27Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > … > > For every action there is… PUNISHMENT It’s better to be poor and happy than… ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/184 "2004-06-25T17:38:30Z")
Dead in a ditch somewhere. There are more things in heaven and earth… ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/185 "2004-06-25T17:40:09Z")
It is better to be poor and happy than… Poor and scabrous, all things considered one for the money… ---
**Author:** ![Redwing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dfb087/32.png) [@Redwing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redwing)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/186 "2004-06-25T17:41:58Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > There are more things in heaven and earth… that can be had for under a dollar. Revenge is a dish best… ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/187 "2004-06-25T17:55:03Z")
> [@Draelin](#): > > … because loud noises will cause neighbors to call the police. > Beauty is only … skin deep, and for birds not even that. Did you ever see a nude bird? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/188 "2004-06-25T18:16:15Z")
> [@Redwing](#): > > that can be had for under a dollar. > Revenge is a dish best… … with fava beans and a fine Chianti. Love is in the … ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/189 "2004-06-25T18:57:51Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > … with fava beans and a fine Chianti. > > Love is in the … …dictionary between “loutish” and “lowbrow.” I never met a man… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/190 "2004-06-25T19:13:21Z")
> [@LeeshaJoy](#): > > I never met a man… … in a wet dream. It’s now or never… ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/191 "2004-06-25T19:23:44Z")
_It’s now or never…_ …and no matter how long you wait, it will always be “now” when you decide to finally do it. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house… ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/192 "2004-06-25T19:28:34Z")
> [@dwc1970](#): > > 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house… … there were booby traps and trip wires, because that fat bastard didn’t bring me those Rock’em Sock’em Robots last year. In the event of a water landing … ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/193 "2004-06-25T19:35:32Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Put them in your trousers and pretend you have oversized testicles. > > Better to be thought a fool than… Hmmm, and Iuv to suck lemons. What does that say 'bout me!? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/194 "2004-06-25T20:47:49Z")
[QUOTE=DraelinIn the event of a water landing …[/QUOTE] … you should probably reconsider taking up a carreer in stair designing. When come back bring … ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/195 "2004-06-25T21:27:19Z")
the money ya owe me, ya cheap bastard. All the world’s a stage… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/196 "2004-06-26T00:12:23Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > All the world’s a stage… …so get to dancing you lazy oaf! All I want for Christmas is… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/197 "2004-06-26T00:12:29Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > the money ya owe me, ya cheap bastard. > > All the world’s a stage… and there’s always a trapdoor in the middle for you to fall through. Every journey begins with… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/198 "2004-06-26T00:45:30Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > and there’s always a trapdoor in the middle for you to fall through. > > Every journey begins with… …a mandatory trip to the bathroom. When you set out on revenge… (always dig 2 graves – Chinese proverb) ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/199 "2004-06-26T01:01:14Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > … > When you set out on revenge… Make sure you’re better armed than your opponent. The rain in spain falls… ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/200 "2004-06-26T01:15:13Z")
> [@](#): > > The rain in spain falls… …and becomes a weak acid due to airborne pollutants. My captain, my captain… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=11)