# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/201 "2004-06-26T01:45:03Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > … > My captain, my captain… I just love a man in uniform. If at first you don’t suceed ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/202 "2004-06-26T04:13:09Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > If at first you don’t suceed … put down that beer, sober up, THEN try again. All I want for Christmas is… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/203 "2004-06-26T04:24:57Z")
> [@](#): > > All I want for Christmas is… …a decorative montage of my enemies’ testicles. Plus ça change… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/204 "2004-06-26T07:38:32Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Plus ça change… [using Babelfish]…les plus que vous don’t réalisez et regardez un idiot. Translation: The more things change…the more you don’t realise and look like an idiot. There is no ‘i’ in… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/205 "2004-06-26T12:23:29Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > [using Babelfish]…les plus que vous don’t réalisez et regardez un idiot. > > Translation: The more things change…the more you don’t realise and look like an idiot. > There is no ‘i’ in… The list of people who are interested in whom you have f\*cked (I once said this to someone). I feel pretty, oh so pretty I feel pretty and witty and gay… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/206 "2004-06-26T13:30:21Z")
(Hey, I did that one!) > [@](#): > > I feel pretty, oh so pretty > I feel pretty and witty and gay… …I just found pics Of a boy whore banging Stockwell Day. To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/207 "2004-06-26T18:04:38Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow… and then the dental appointment :eek: It will all turn out right in … ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/208 "2004-06-26T18:43:29Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > It will all turn out right in … …my dreams. But then I wake up. A stitch in time… ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/209 "2004-06-26T18:57:32Z")
really messes up the continuum. good things come… ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/210 "2004-06-26T20:47:44Z")
good things come to those who go shopping. too many cooks… ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/211 "2004-06-26T21:50:52Z")
…use inappropriate knives for cutting tomatoes. I’m a little teapot… ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/212 "2004-06-26T22:04:46Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > …use inappropriate knives for cutting tomatoes. > I’m a little teapot… …so, before I release my steam, you better make me hot. Vini! Vidi!.. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/213 "2004-06-26T22:34:58Z")
> [@ZebraShaSha](#): > > …so, before I release my steam, you better make me hot. > Vini! [Veni], Vidi!.. Italian word! or “Vici! Veni, vidi, vici! Sorry, Patti, looks like we’re stuck forever.” A rolling stone gathers… ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/214 "2004-06-26T23:49:14Z")
…fewer and fewer groupies every damn tour. There’s no fool like… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/215 "2004-06-26T23:54:55Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > …fewer and fewer groupies every damn tour. > There’s no fool like… …those from the middle ages. Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam. Lovely Spam, Wonderful… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/216 "2004-06-27T00:26:37Z")
> [@Dragwyr](#): > > …those from the middle ages. > > Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam. Lovely Spam, Wonderful… …Wonderful e-mail reeform legislation to eliminate spam! YO-HO-HO and a bottle of… ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/217 "2004-06-27T00:44:36Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > …Wonderful e-mail reeform legislation to eliminate spam! > > YO-HO-HO and a bottle of… aaaairr2! it’s emp2tzy! \ 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/218 "2004-06-27T00:47:08Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > aaaairr2! it’s emp2tzy! \ > > 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer… …too bad the beer is supervised by Haliburton. 15 or so bottles of beer on the wall. Or not. DAMMIT SPOCK! I’m a doctor, not a… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/219 "2004-06-27T07:34:07Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > DAMMIT SPOCK! I’m a doctor, not a… …low paid, 60’s actor on a highly influential science fiction program! [Beatles] _We all live in a…_ ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/220 "2004-06-27T13:12:33Z")
…housing project that had its funding cut. To thine own self… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=12)