# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/221 "2004-06-27T14:30:59Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > To thine own self… …until your married, and then it’s all the bride’s. Remember, remember… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/222 "2004-06-27T16:48:27Z")
…her name, because she’s gathering up her clothes and looking quite offended. My goodness, Grandmother! What big… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/223 "2004-06-27T16:54:21Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > My goodness, Grandmother! What big… …bank accounts I ha-, I mean you have. Where’s that damn woodsman? You can choose your friends, but… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/224 "2004-06-27T17:06:35Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > … > You can choose your friends, but… never turn you back on them or tell them your PIN number. Children should be seen… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/225 "2004-06-27T18:47:29Z")
> [@ZombieAteMyBrain](#): > > Children should be seen… …no closer than 1000 yards to Michael Jackson, under penalty of law. Where there is a will… ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/226 "2004-06-27T19:05:55Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > …no closer than 1000 yards to Michael Jackson, under penalty of law. > Where there is a will… …there’s a gold-digger. Fighting ignorance since 1973… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/227 "2004-06-27T19:10:16Z")
> [@Chimpy](#): > > Fighting ignorance since 1973… I still go by my first answer some pages back: …You’re stupider than we thought. But let’s have a new one as well: …I’ll never make a drunken bet again. :smack: What you give… ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/228 "2004-06-27T19:16:31Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > What you give… … should be what you don’t want fool. Do not feed… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/229 "2004-06-27T20:02:21Z")
> [@Chimpy](#): > > Do not feed… …me that wafer thin mint, I will explode. Oh but eet is waffer-theen One small step for (a) man… ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/230 "2004-06-27T20:08:06Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > …me that wafer thin mint, I will explode. Oh but eet is waffer-theen > One small step for (a) man… … it’s 35 years of conspiracy theories. We will fight them on the… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/231 "2004-06-27T20:45:48Z")
> [@Chimpy](#): > > We will fight them on the… …bitches, we shall fight on her handy mounds, we shall fight from the front and in the rear, we shall never surrender. Life’s a bitch and then… **Chimpy** , what’s going on? Is this not proof enough that the Doping world has mysteriously vanished. Why, we may start ending post without finishing our sen- ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/232 "2004-06-28T00:09:09Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > … > Life’s a bitch and then… You fall in love and it gets 100 times worse. If you can’t do the time… ---
**Author:** ![b\_anthracis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@b\_anthracis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/b_anthracis)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/233 "2004-06-28T01:08:39Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > You fall in love and it gets 100 times worse. > > If you can’t do the time… Don’t do Martha Stewart. Oh, Lord, I’m going to heck in a handbasket… All’s fair in love and… ---
**Author:** ![Lush\_Jinks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Lush\_Jinks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lush_Jinks)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/234 "2004-06-28T01:28:48Z")
> [@b\_anthracis](#): > > Don’t do Martha Stewart. Oh, Lord, I’m going to heck in a handbasket… > All’s fair in love and… the White House. If ya can’t beat 'em… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/235 "2004-06-28T01:31:52Z")
> [@b\_anthracis](#): > > All’s fair in love and… if you believe that, you’ll believe anything! Half a loaf is better than… ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/236 "2004-06-28T02:36:09Z")
half a loaf is better than pinching a loaf. The Lord Works In… ---
**Author:** ![Atticus\_Finch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ec9cab/32.png) [@Atticus\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atticus_Finch)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/237 "2004-06-28T03:04:19Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > half a loaf is better than pinching a loaf. > > The Lord Works In… A small bakery just a block or so from my house. I swear! Ich bin ein… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/238 "2004-06-28T03:58:31Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > The Lord Works In… …banker’s hours. Neither rain, nor snow, nor gloom of night… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/239 "2004-06-28T03:59:40Z")
(sorry) > [@lambchops](#): > > Ich bin ein… …kanadische Schwul; willst du bumsen mit mir? Neither rain, nor snow, nor gloom of night… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/240 "2004-06-28T04:08:24Z")
…rhyme with “orange.” To thine own self… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=13)