# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/241 "2004-06-28T04:23:56Z")
…keep thine hands. This little piggy… ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/242 "2004-06-28T04:34:12Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > …keep thine hands. > This little piggy… …is delicious when barbecued The Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything is… ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/243 "2004-06-28T04:40:46Z")
…is classified until a leak to the media forces the government’s hand. [Sergeant Shultz] "I see nothink! I hear nothink!..[/Sergeant Shultz] ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/244 "2004-06-28T04:42:55Z")
42, as everyone knows. if it ain’t broke… ---
**Author:** ![Veronica37](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/aca169/32.png) [@Veronica37](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Veronica37)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/245 "2004-06-28T04:55:39Z")
If ain’t broke…sell it on ebay! 🆒 If life gives you scraps… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/246 "2004-06-28T09:41:51Z")
> [@Veronica37](#): > > If life gives you scraps… …use them as a distraction to kick Life in the nuts and steal his TV. The devil makes work for… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/247 "2004-06-28T12:04:43Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > …use them as a distraction to kick Life in the nuts and steal his TV. > The devil makes work for… …lawyers. _Lots O’ lawyers!_ Life is but as Stage, and all the Men and Women upon it merely… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/248 "2004-06-28T12:05:52Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Life is but as Stage, and all the Men and Women upon it merely… … are movie actor wanna-be’s. Open mouth. Insert… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/249 "2004-06-28T12:15:16Z")
> [@Dragwyr](#): > > … are movie actor wanna-be’s. > > Open mouth. Insert… Big Macs three times a day and you’ll die young. When push comes to shove… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/250 "2004-06-28T13:02:00Z")
…pull out yo’ nine an’ cap his ass. Alas, poor Yorick… ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/251 "2004-06-28T15:36:50Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > …pull out yo’ nine an’ cap his ass. > > Alas, poor Yorick… …he fell into a well, and didn’t stop screaming for _days_. I’ve got a lovely… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/252 "2004-06-28T15:57:54Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > I’ve got a lovely… …collections of human skeletons, just don’t tell the cops. The pot calling… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/253 "2004-06-28T16:01:51Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > …collections of human skeletons, just don’t tell the cops. > The pot calling… collect again. Don’t put all your eggs… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/254 "2004-06-28T16:10:53Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Don’t put all your eggs… Sitting on a wall - remember what happend to Humpty Dumpty! If you’re Irish… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/255 "2004-06-28T16:20:52Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > If you’re Irish… … 😕 … 😕 … 😕 … Two wrongs don’t make… ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/256 "2004-06-28T18:03:16Z")
> [@Nocturnal\_Tick](#): > > Two wrongs don’t make… …you a bad person. Unless you happen to be in Great Debates or the Pit, then you’re kinda screwed. Old soldiers don’t die… ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/257 "2004-06-28T18:46:49Z")
. . . they just get misplaced in the veterans’ hospital. That dog won’t . . . ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/258 "2004-06-28T18:51:18Z")
poo on it’s own lawn. More chins that a ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/259 "2004-06-28T18:58:16Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > poo on it’s own lawn. > > More chins that a assuming that’s supposed to More chins than a… Chinese family reunion. The thrill of victory, the agony of… ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/260 "2004-06-28T19:07:47Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > assuming that’s supposed to More chins than a… > > Chinese family reunion. > > The thrill of victory, the agony of… …morning after. It’s not about winning… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=14)