# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/261 "2004-06-28T19:27:08Z")
It’s about shooting as many baddies as possible. I’m a little teapot… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/262 "2004-06-28T20:11:50Z")
…at least, that’s what the voices in my head tell me. So this is Christmas… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/263 "2004-06-28T20:29:24Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > So this is Christmas… …where are my bloody presents??? The best things in life are … ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/264 "2004-06-28T20:31:57Z")
…too damn expensive Like a… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/265 "2004-06-28T21:39:45Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > Like a… …Ike. Eisenhower’s posthumous bid for candidacy. Jesus wants me for… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/266 "2004-06-28T22:10:17Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > Jesus wants me for… … the staring role in “Death of Mel Gibson” A real man is hard to … ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/267 "2004-06-28T22:25:43Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > A real man is hard to … …lift because he’s all heavy and the sweat is making it slippery work. Death is just a natural part of… ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/268 "2004-06-28T22:39:54Z")
> [@](#): > > **Nocturnal\_Tick** _said:_ > > Death is just a natural part of… …being shot in the face with a shotgun. WARNING: Objects in mirror may… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/269 "2004-06-28T22:49:53Z")
> [@verbenabeast](#): > > …being shot in the face with a shotgun. > WARNING: Objects in mirror may… …be uglier than first imagined. Talk is cheap… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/270 "2004-06-28T22:50:26Z")
…look ugly, if they’re you. If I had a dollar for every time… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/271 "2004-06-28T22:52:29Z")
Dammit! > [@vunderbob](#): > > Talk is cheap… Unless you’re on 1-900-SEX-CHAT. If I had a dollar for every time… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/272 "2004-06-28T23:18:27Z")
… someone simuposted on the SDMB, I’d be a billionare. (Just a thought to go with the OP question If life gives you lemons and a banana then you’re a boy, if it gives you mellons then you’re a girl.) There once was an ugly … ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/273 "2004-06-29T01:41:11Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > There once was an ugly … Doper. He had an idea for a thread entitled “If life gives you lemons…” Ich bin eine… ---
**Author:** ![Ryle\_Dup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Ryle\_Dup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryle_Dup)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/274 "2004-06-29T01:55:05Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Doper. He had an idea for a thread entitled “If life gives you lemons…” > Ich bin eine… Berlinen! (sp?) When all else fails…, ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/275 "2004-06-29T03:15:05Z")
> [@Ryle Dup](#): > > When all else fails…, … do a search on the Straight Dope. Hear no evil, see no evil… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/276 "2004-06-29T12:44:11Z")
> [@Dragwyr](#): > > … > do a search on the Straight Dope. > > Hear no evil, see no evil… but do evil often. Let not your heart be troubled… ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/277 "2004-06-29T15:23:09Z")
. . .take your digitalis. Jack fell down and . . . ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/278 "2004-06-29T15:51:17Z")
Jack fell down and . . . He can’t get up! Fourscore and seven years ago our forefathers… ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/279 "2004-06-29T16:26:00Z")
. . . fondled their foreskins. And Jill came . . . (I’m really not trying to make this thread obscene. Honest!) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/280 "2004-06-29T16:42:32Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > . . . fondled their foreskins. > And Jill came . . . > > (I’m really not trying to make this thread obscene. Honest!) and filed a lawsuit against those idiots who decided to build the well uphill. Who’s been sleeping in my… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=15)