# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/281 "2004-06-29T17:00:06Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > and filed a lawsuit against those idiots who decided to build the well uphill. > > Who’s been sleeping in my… …porrige? Porrige is hard on the hair. The Waqy of Bushido is… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/282 "2004-06-29T17:08:37Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > …porrige? > > Porrige is hard on the hair. > The Waqy of Bushido is… if you are not for us then you are against us. If you leave me now… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/283 "2004-06-29T17:25:24Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > if you are not for us then you are against us. > > If you leave me now… …I shall not seek a restraining order. The Old Guard dies, but it never… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/284 "2004-06-29T18:11:51Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > The Old Guard dies, but it never… …dyes. Diamonds are a girl’s… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/285 "2004-06-29T18:15:07Z")
…temporary diversion while you RUN, man! I may have been born at night… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/286 "2004-06-29T18:16:28Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > Diamonds are a girl’s… favorite reason for getting married, then divorced. The grass is always greener on… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/287 "2004-06-29T18:18:51Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > …temporary diversion while you RUN, man! > I may have been born at night… and have fangs and a pale complexion but really I am not a vampire. Just because everybody else is doing it… ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/288 "2004-06-29T18:24:56Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > and have fangs and a pale complexion but really I am not a vampire. > > Just because everybody else is doing it… …gives you an excellent opportunity for blackmail photos. One good turn… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/289 "2004-06-29T18:34:59Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > …gives you an excellent opportunity for blackmail photos. > One good turn… against the light, while talking on your cell, smoking, and munching on a Big Mac will result in a massive pile up during rush hour. If you can’t see the forest… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/290 "2004-06-29T18:38:12Z")
> [@Dragwyr](#): > > The grass is always greener on… …LSD. > [@swampbear](#): > > If you can’t see the forest… …it’s because you’re blind. Men are from Mars… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/291 "2004-06-29T18:50:16Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > …LSD. > > …it’s because you’re blind. > Men are from Mars… and we’re going to blow up the Earth. It blocks our view of Venus. A son is a son until he takes a wife… ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/292 "2004-06-29T19:26:57Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > and we’re going to blow up the Earth. It blocks our view of Venus. > > A son is a son until he takes a wife… …then he’s just another miserable SOB who has to listen to his wife & mother bitch about each other. The squeaky wheel… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/293 "2004-06-29T19:43:06Z")
…is gonna make me murder that fuckin’ gerbil. The quality of mercy is… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/294 "2004-06-29T19:50:36Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > …is gonna make me murder that fuckin’ gerbil. > > The quality of mercy is… pretty damn bad if you piss off the judge Starve a fever… ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/295 "2004-06-29T20:45:43Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Starve a fever… And claim the dingoes ate your baby. Well, you can do what you want, but don’t step… ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/296 "2004-06-29T23:44:08Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Well, you can do what you want, but don’t step… …in the doggie doo doo. You can’t always get… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/297 "2004-06-30T00:10:31Z")
> [@Dragwyr](#): > > You can’t always get… even, but you can alwats get odd. How to make friends and … ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/298 "2004-06-30T00:46:01Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > How to make friends and … other exciting scientific experiments, by Baron Victor von Frankenstein. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and… ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/299 "2004-06-30T00:47:57Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and… …shit is poo. The name’s Bond… ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/300 "2004-06-30T00:56:31Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > The name’s Bond… …Gold Bond medicated foot powder, stops the itching and burning. Ads for this fucking crap play all the time on talk radio here in the US With great power comes great… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=16)