# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/321 "2004-06-30T17:48:44Z")
…will render your watch non-functional. Believe it or not… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/322 "2004-06-30T21:33:02Z")
…but if you call me a liar you’re getting such a smack. Promises and pie-crust… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/323 "2004-06-30T21:38:52Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > …but if you call me a liar you’re getting such a smack. > > Promises and pie-crust… are ok, but I’d rather have a bag of M&Ms It’s not the motion of the ocean but… ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/324 "2004-06-30T22:29:14Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > are ok, but I’d rather have a bag of M&Ms > > It’s not the motion of the ocean but… …the conflicting messages received by your central nervous system that make you wanna puke yer guts out. Roses are red, violets are blue… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/325 "2004-06-30T23:12:28Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > Roses are red, violets are blue… … is the first lesson of Dullard U. horticulture 101. Puff the magic dragon … ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/326 "2004-06-30T23:22:00Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > … is the first lesson of Dullard U. horticulture 101. > > Puff the magic dragon … …at least three times a day to avoid withdrawal symptoms. They paved paradise… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/327 "2004-07-01T00:05:26Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > …at least three times a day to avoid withdrawal symptoms. > > They paved paradise… …and it was much improved. Neither a borrower nor a … ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/328 "2004-07-01T02:04:51Z")
…sexual predator be. If you ever meet up with your anti-self… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/329 "2004-07-01T02:10:48Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > … > If you ever meet up with your anti-self… buy him a few drinks. There’s no business like … ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/330 "2004-07-01T02:36:13Z")
there’s no business like… … Monkry Business… and business is… GOOOOODDD!!! to sleep, perchance to… ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/331 "2004-07-01T02:50:05Z")
> [@verbenabeast](#): > > to sleep, perchance to… …Get attacked by a giant [blimp](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=160851). [RS]If you start me up… [/RS] ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/332 "2004-07-01T02:59:27Z")
I’ll keep going…and going… All who wander… ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/333 "2004-07-01T03:41:43Z")
> [@Cyn](#): > > I’ll keep going…and going… > > All who wander… go via an indirect route or at no set pace. The truth is stranger than… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/334 "2004-07-01T04:16:01Z")
Cousin Wally. It’s not what you say that counts… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/335 "2004-07-01T12:30:47Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > It’s not what you say that counts… Nobody listens to you anyway. A spoonful of sugar helps … ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/336 "2004-07-01T12:35:15Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Nobody listens to you anyway. > > A spoonful of sugar helps … …bring you out of insulin shock. A good plan today… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/337 "2004-07-01T13:28:43Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > … > A good plan today… can seem the world’s stupidest idea tomorrow. You can’t make an omelette without… ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/338 "2004-07-01T13:31:38Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > …bring you out of insulin shock. > > A good plan today… …would be to try not to kill anyone, including yourself. Out of sight… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/339 "2004-07-01T13:33:10Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > can seem the world’s stupidest idea tomorrow. > > You can’t make an omelette without… …chopped ham, caramelized onion, green pepper, and extra sharp cheddar cheese. An honest day’s wage… ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/340 "2004-07-01T13:48:35Z")
Out of sight . . . leaves no evidence for impeachment. An honest day’s wage . . . for an honest day’s sin. When all else fails . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=18)