# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/341 "2004-07-01T15:30:54Z")
…run around in circles, scream your head off, and eat an entire mailman. How to succeed in business… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/342 "2004-07-01T15:45:53Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > How to succeed in business… … Be really, really successful. Now is the winter of our… ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/343 "2004-07-01T16:17:48Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > … Be really, really successful. > Now is the winter of our… Southern Hemisphere. It’s like I always say:… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/344 "2004-07-01T16:35:23Z")
…never go anywhere without a herring. Only this and… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/345 "2004-07-01T16:48:24Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > It’s like I always say:… …wicky wicky NEEEEE NOOOOOOO EEEEEEE AAAAAAAA hubbahubbahubbahubba Orannnnnnnnnnnnge Maaaaaaangooooooooo. > [@Governor Quinn](#): > > Only this and… …that…and those too…three of those…better make that four… Reap what you… ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/346 "2004-07-01T17:23:49Z")
. . . want; just make damn sure you take the farmer’s shotgun first. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if . . . ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/347 "2004-07-01T17:41:08Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if . . . …a tree fell in the forest and no-one was around to see it? Where have all the flowers gone? . . . ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/348 "2004-07-01T17:46:54Z")
…They’re right where you left them. Next time might be your time to… ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/349 "2004-07-01T17:52:54Z")
(nice turn, **tick** ) . . . time the timekeeper’s timetrials for _Time_. Six of one . . . ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/350 "2004-07-01T18:19:52Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > (nice turn, **tick** )Six of one . . . … is our designation. Resistance is futile. I can’t drive… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/351 "2004-07-01T20:09:20Z")
…but I can crack my knuckles to Vivaldi. When to hold them, when to fold them, and… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/352 "2004-07-01T20:25:05Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > When to hold them, when to fold them, and… …when to say “Yahtzee!” All’s fair in love and… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/353 "2004-07-01T21:11:05Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > All’s fair in love and… the Pit. If you love someone, set them … ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/354 "2004-07-01T21:19:00Z")
…on top of the stove. Said that I loved you, but… ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/355 "2004-07-01T22:01:06Z")
Said that I loved you, but… …You have to remember that I was drunk at the time. My fellow Americans, let me make one thing perfectly clear. I am not… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/356 "2004-07-01T22:20:40Z")
…someone who gives a rat’s (bleep) about your concerns. It’s like brings coals… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/357 "2004-07-01T22:54:10Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > It’s like brings coals… for it is the lord of the coal minors, and all must praise Scargil it’s profit (of doom). I don’t know, I was really drunk at the … ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/358 "2004-07-01T22:56:05Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > I don’t know, I was really drunk at the … …screening of “Memento,” and now I can’t remember anything but the details of that movie. Are you aware of my condition? In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/359 "2004-07-01T23:02:15Z")
> [@Chastain86](#): > > …screening of “Memento,” and now I can’t remember anything but the details of that movie. Are you aware of my condition? > > In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion… will serve as a good place for you to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye. What you leave to chance… ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/360 "2004-07-01T23:03:47Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > What you leave to chance… will come back to haunt you at the Community Chest. Second prize beauty contest, my heinie. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=19)