# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/21 "2004-06-24T04:50:08Z")
come sit next to me. early to bed, early to rise… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/22 "2004-06-24T04:50:25Z")
Dammit. > [@flamingbananas](#): > > When in doubt… …punch the weakest one. > [@matt\_mcl](#): > > This above all: to thine own self… …point the super-soaker full of tequila. OK, are we all up to date? If you have nothing good to say… ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/23 "2004-06-24T05:10:21Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > If you have nothing good to say… …become a talk radio host. Don’t count your chickens… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/24 "2004-06-24T05:20:50Z")
…count the eggs instead. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/25 "2004-06-24T05:21:53Z")
If wishes were horses… ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/26 "2004-06-24T05:33:23Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > If wishes were horses… I’d need a really big shovel. Red at night, sailors’ delight… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/27 "2004-06-24T05:34:21Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > If wishes were horses… If beggars were wishes, then horses could ride. A fool and his money… ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/28 "2004-06-24T06:11:24Z")
> [@The King of Soup](#): > > Red at night, sailors’ delight… Red in the morning, see a health care professional, especially if accompanied by swelling or irritation. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/29 "2004-06-24T06:18:19Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > Dammit. > > If you have nothing good to say… …You must be John Kerry ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/30 "2004-06-24T06:19:44Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > A fool and his money… … are invited everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/31 "2004-06-24T06:21:44Z")
I think we’re caught up now. The meek shall inherit the earth… ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/32 "2004-06-24T06:38:44Z")
um… thanks. ```auto Children should be... ``` ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/33 "2004-06-24T06:43:23Z")
> [@meek](#): > > um… thanks. > > ```auto > > Children should be... > > ``` …thankful they don’t have hair growing out of their ears. Variety is… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/34 "2004-06-24T06:51:12Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > …thankful they don’t have hair growing out of their ears. > > Variety is… Something that drives me crazy. If at first you don’t succeed… ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/35 "2004-06-24T07:32:54Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > Something that drives me crazy. > If at first you don’t succeed… cover up all evidence that you ever tried in the first place. The early bird… ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/36 "2004-06-24T07:34:31Z")
> [@grimpixie](#): > > cover up all evidence that you ever tried in the first place. > > The early bird… …gets a shoe to the head if it doesn’t shut the hell up! ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/37 "2004-06-24T07:35:38Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > …gets a shoe to the head if it doesn’t shut the hell up! oops, You can lead a horse to water, ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/38 "2004-06-24T08:04:24Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > oops, > > You can lead a horse to water, but you’d be better off just getting a boat or something because horses don’t float. Slow and steady… ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/39 "2004-06-24T08:17:09Z")
…is still “taking it too fast” for a Necrophiliac. Fortune favors… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/40 "2004-06-24T11:12:28Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > …is still “taking it too fast” for a Necrophiliac. > > Fortune favors… …the house, please hand over your money. Life is like a box of… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=3)