# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/461 "2004-07-09T17:25:43Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > “Opportunity knocks but…” …whatever you do, don’t stomp out the flaming paper bag it left on teh front porch. Opportunity has a truly puerile sense of humor. I believe that for every drop of rain that falls… ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/462 "2004-07-09T18:07:22Z")
…an innocent creature on a planet orbiting a distant sun ruled by a cruel despot is brutally tortured over the course of five days, and then killed. Badger badger badger… ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/463 "2004-07-09T22:18:57Z")
…I made you out of clay. There is nothing to fear, but… ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/464 "2004-07-09T22:25:33Z")
There is nothing to fear, but… … looking down and realizing you forgot to get dressed. she sells… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/465 "2004-07-09T23:48:15Z")
… sea shells, at the Denver Mall, having finally passed echonomics 101 and realising that selling sea shells at the sea shore where they were plentiful and free was a really poor choice of venue. There once was an ugly … ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/466 "2004-07-09T23:51:36Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > There once was an ugly … … Doper, who had a lame idea for a th… wait. I already did that one. There once was an ugly mole on my face. I tried everything. blowtorch, head in microwave, standing behind an afterburning jet, but I just could not make my face look beautiful again. What comes around… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/467 "2004-07-11T15:26:00Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > … > What comes around… the corner to meet you is always the person you least want to see. Give me victory or give me … ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/468 "2004-07-11T17:28:17Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Give me victory or give me … …defeat; I’m not picky, just as long as I don’t have to put forth much personal effort, you can suit yourself. The Lord helps those… ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/469 "2004-07-11T17:57:48Z")
who helps themselves…to the collection plate. Never a borrower… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2004, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/470 "2004-07-11T19:22:24Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > Never a borrower… Of other people’s sex toys be. If you aren’t with us… ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/471 "2004-07-12T00:04:52Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Of other people’s sex toys be. > > If you aren’t with us… …what is your freakin’ problem? Don’t you realize we are the cutest, smartest, funniest people on Earth? I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll… ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/472 "2004-07-12T00:53:42Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll… …get off the damn bicycle because this hill is hard work! A man’s home is his… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/473 "2004-07-12T12:11:09Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > …get off the damn bicycle because this hill is hard work! > A man’s home is his… over valued, over taxed, second mortgaged, leaky roof, in need of painting and surrounded by crab grass castle. Don’t go looking for trouble in… ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/474 "2004-07-12T18:45:03Z")
. . . in East St. Louis; it will find you with no trouble at all. Laugh and the world laughs with you; . . . ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/475 "2004-07-12T19:35:31Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Don’t go looking for trouble in… …full body armor. We want this to be a fair fight. Please allow up to six weeks… ---
**Author:** ![CheapBastid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CheapBastid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheapBastid)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/476 "2004-07-12T22:06:20Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > . . . in East St. Louis; it will find you with no trouble at all. > > Laugh and the world laughs with you; . . . … if you’ve got a funny laugh, that is. Maresy doats and doesy doats and… ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/477 "2004-07-12T22:14:30Z")
(ok, it’s mares eat oats and does eat oats, just ftr) …and little lambs are tasty, especially with mint jelly. Do you believe in…? ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/478 "2004-07-13T01:57:16Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > Do you believe in…? Cecil - the great, the all-knowing etc. Two steps forward… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/479 "2004-07-13T16:36:25Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Two steps forward… Is a bad idea when you are close to the edge. To boldly go where noone has … ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/480 "2004-07-13T17:07:04Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > Is a bad idea when you are close to the edge. > > To boldly go where noone has … ever gone before would be a good idea because, honestly, we’re all sick of you. Don’t throw good money after… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=25)