# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/481 "2004-07-13T17:23:24Z")
. . . fleeing hamsters. In case of emergency, . . . ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/482 "2004-07-13T17:39:24Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > …full body armor. We want this to be a fair fight. > > Please allow up to six weeks… …for your ‘male enhancement’ treatment to fail before calling it a ‘waste of money’ [QUOTE=BJMoose . . fleeing hamsters. In case of emergency, . . …[/QUOTE] …Please allow up to six weeks. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/483 "2004-07-13T20:03:59Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > …for your ‘male enhancement’ treatment to fail before calling it a ‘waste of money’ > > [QUOTE=BJMoose . . fleeing hamsters. > > In case of emergency, . . …[/QUOTE] > > …Please allow up to six weeks. > Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world… She had to walk into my cotton processing plant. It was the best of times… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/484 "2004-07-13T20:23:12Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > It was the best of times… … and it was the worst of times, and the average of times, and the moderately good of times, and the not so great of times. 2 caplets after the first loose stool; 1 caplet after each subsequent loose stool; but no… ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/485 "2004-07-13T22:48:45Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > 2 caplets after the first loose stool; 1 caplet after each subsequent loose stool; but no… more than six caplets should be inserted using an 18"DHIBJD :eek: :eek: ! If you do not have a touch tone phone, please stay on the line and … ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/486 "2004-07-13T23:22:06Z")
> [@laina\_f](#): > > more than six caplets should be inserted using an 18"DHIBJD :eek: :eek: ! > > If you do not have a touch tone phone, please stay on the line and … …we will connect you with a time traveler from a previous century who can understand terms like ‘telephone dial’ and ‘record player’. I did not have sexual relations with… ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/487 "2004-07-13T23:24:17Z")
I did not have sexual relations with… that 18" DHIBJD! Cry me a river… ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/488 "2004-07-13T23:48:59Z")
… of rancid slug juice. Let’s kiss and make… ---
**Author:** ![AThingWithFeathers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@AThingWithFeathers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AThingWithFeathers)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/489 "2004-07-14T00:15:51Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > … of rancid slug juice. > Let’s kiss and make… …babies. Democracy and violence can… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/490 "2004-07-14T00:20:34Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > … > Let’s kiss and make… everyone watching avert their eyes and go “Yeuggghhhhh” All the worlds a stage, and ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/491 "2004-07-14T13:54:27Z")
> [@Kendraen Ideals](#): > > …babies. > > Democracy and violence can… be fun among consenting adults. > [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > everyone watching avert their eyes and go “Yeuggghhhhh” > > All the worlds a stage, and and I got a whole bag full of rotten tomatoes. Bring it on! Smile, though your heart is breaking… ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/492 "2004-07-14T14:32:48Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Smile, though your heart is breaking… …china in all the neighbouring rooms. Wish her well, even though you know she’s chosen someone else, because, dammit, she _deserves_… ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/493 "2004-07-14T14:43:49Z")
. . . to trip and fall in a well! (Bitch!) [That’s a cliche??] Every day in every way, I am getting . . . ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/494 "2004-07-14T15:09:08Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > . . . to trip and fall in a well! (Bitch!) > > [That’s a cliche??] > Every day in every way, I am getting . . . ready to enact my Texas Chinsaw Massacre revenge on those who piss me off. When the day is over and done… ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/495 "2004-07-14T16:27:19Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > ready to enact my Texas Chinsaw Massacre revenge on those who piss me off. > > When the day is over and done… …that’s when the vampires wake up and decide to extract your precious blood without your permission. A day late and… ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/496 "2004-07-14T18:35:12Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > A day late and… You’re peeing on a stick. The last shall be first and… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/497 "2004-07-14T23:48:09Z")
> [@photopat](#): > > You’re peeing on a stick. > > The last shall be first and… then the real firsts will beat the lasts up and take all their stuff anyways. Never take more than… ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/498 "2004-07-15T13:53:30Z")
. . . you can hide from the cops. In a democracy, every vote . . . ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/499 "2004-07-15T14:08:44Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > . . . you can hide from the cops. > In a democracy, every vote . . . …for the wrong candidate makes the Secret Police very angry. In space, no one can… ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/500 "2004-07-15T15:05:06Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > …for the wrong candidate makes the Secret Police very angry. > In space, no one can… flip a decent pizza crust. Always look on the bright… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=26)