# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 29
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/561 "2004-07-20T15:11:55Z")
. . . for a bureaucracy seem like fun. (that was a tough one) When all else fails . . . ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/562 "2004-07-20T16:23:18Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > . . . for a bureaucracy seem like fun. > > (that was a tough one) > > When all else fails . . . …perform a complete restore from your backup disc. … You _do_ have a backup disc, don’t you? Alas! Poor Yorick, I knew him… ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/563 "2004-07-20T17:00:17Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > …perform a complete restore from your backup disc. … You _do_ have a backup disc, don’t you? > Alas! Poor Yorick, I knew him… in college. We were in the same frat. He was Yorkster and I was Hambone. I always new he’d get ahead. All we are saying is… ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/564 "2004-07-20T18:32:23Z")
…is give Peas a chance. -The International brotherhood of Pea and Bean workers, local 171. Into each life… ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/565 "2004-07-20T18:48:34Z")
…some suspicious white viscous liquid must fall. Take the last train to Clarksville, and… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/566 "2004-07-21T00:18:26Z")
…get me some of those cheap generic cigarettes. And when I die… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/567 "2004-07-21T00:32:28Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > …And when I die… REMEMBER “I’ll be back!!!” The more you know… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/568 "2004-07-21T00:38:37Z")
…the less they know. I’m picking up good… ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/569 "2004-07-21T14:20:59Z")
. . . wine and hot babes. Wanna join the party? _Ad astra per_ . . . [for the wankers who didn’t take _Obscure Latin Phrases 207_, that’s:] To the stars through . . . ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/570 "2004-07-21T14:22:03Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > … > I’m picking up good… ideas from reading SDMB. If wishes were horses… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/571 "2004-07-21T14:37:13Z")
Sorry, folks - goddam simultaneous posting again. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/572 "2004-07-21T14:50:46Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > If wishes were horses… …then my desire to get rich would win the Kentucky Derby. To the stars through… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/573 "2004-07-21T15:01:28Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > …then my desire to get rich would win the Kentucky Derby. > > To the stars through… carefully thoughtout stalking will keep the police out of it. Forgiveness is sometimes easier gained than… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/574 "2004-07-21T15:01:00Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > …To the stars through… hyperspace with Jean Luc Picard. Love of money is … ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/575 "2004-07-21T15:04:10Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > hyperspace with Jean Luc Picard. > > Love of money is … I posted while the hamsters were on break again Love of money is… what landed Martha in prison for five months. Forgiveness is sometimes easier gained than… ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/576 "2004-07-21T15:40:35Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Forgiveness is sometimes easier gained than… …forgetfulness, but a fifth of good scotch will get you a long way towards both. Into every life, a little rain… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/577 "2004-07-21T15:48:01Z")
…will flood your basement. Off with his… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/578 "2004-07-21T15:59:18Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > … > Off with his… Boxer shorts - I have the authority to check that his equipment is in full working order. [on a similar note] Lie back and think of … ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/579 "2004-07-21T16:09:04Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Boxer shorts - I have the authority to check that his equipment is in full working order. > > [on a similar note] > > Lie back and think of … how much fun it would be to exact a “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” revenge on your enemies. Just for the record… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/580 "2004-07-21T16:54:18Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Just for the record… … I wedgied the entire 101st Armored Division. Still have to hear back from Guiness, but my court marshial is this Thursday. If you keep doing that, you’ll poke … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=28) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=30)