# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 31
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/601 "2004-07-23T13:13:49Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > …Am I too drunk to care? Probably yes, since you forgot to add a follow-on to keep the thread going. So here’s one Any port in… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/602 "2004-07-23T16:50:25Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Any port in… Spain, they know my name, The sailors call me Jane, I just haven’t been the same, Since the zombies ate my brain. One for the money, two for the show, three to get better, and … ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/603 "2004-07-24T00:16:10Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > One for the money, two for the show, three to get better, and … by four, I’m knackered…[turns over and falls asleep] That train has already… ---
**Author:** ![Rock\_n\_Roach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Rock\_n\_Roach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock_n_Roach)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/604 "2004-07-24T03:59:41Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > That train has already… what?? left?? you mean left the station? Noooooooooooooo hufff puffff So Zombies, you got any room in that shack of yours? that’s what I get for playing that damn lemon game An apple a day… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/605 "2004-07-25T18:54:37Z")
> [@Rock n Roach](#): > > An apple a day… makes for a really boring diet. Laugh and the world … ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/606 "2004-07-25T19:02:40Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > makes for a really boring diet. > > Laugh and the world … …says “SHUSH!” I love Paris in the… ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/607 "2004-07-25T19:28:35Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > I love Paris in the… …great state of [Texas!](http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?country=US&countryid=US&addtohistory=&searchtab=address&searchtype=address&address=&city=paris&state=TX&zipcode=) Hey Jude, don’t make it… ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/608 "2004-07-25T20:47:57Z")
… By “it” I mean your casserole. You just can’t cook an edible meal, Jude. And the flames burned high into the night… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/609 "2004-07-25T22:59:19Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > …And the flames burned high into the night… You were always lousy at setting up a barbeque. There’s nothing to fear but … ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/610 "2004-07-26T04:48:53Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > There’s nothing to fear but … …all the same, I think a tetanus shot is in order. Just in case. But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/611 "2004-07-26T14:25:11Z")
> [@Nightwatch Trailer](#): > > …But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is… the ‘Defiant’ from DS9, and it’s landing in my street … Better go and find some prune juice for Worf!!! Don’t knock it till … ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/612 "2004-07-26T16:01:49Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > the ‘Defiant’ from DS9, and it’s landing in my street … Better go and find some prune juice for Worf!!! > > Don’t knock it till … …everyone else knocks it too. That way, you won’t make anyone angry with you. A nod’s as good as a wink… ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/613 "2004-07-26T16:28:40Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > …everyone else knocks it too. That way, you won’t make anyone angry with you. > > A nod’s as good as a wink… to an auctioneer at Christies. It’s a bird, it’s a plane… ---
**Author:** ![rexnervous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@rexnervous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rexnervous)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/614 "2004-07-26T16:46:22Z")
> [@photopat](#): > > to an auctioneer at Christies. > > It’s a bird, it’s a plane… well, actually it’s a spoonful of mashed carrots, but little Timmy can’t tell the difference. Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/615 "2004-07-27T01:28:48Z")
> [@rexnervous](#): > > Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick… you know - the one where you saw my worst enemy in half. Time and tide … ---
**Author:** ![Rock\_n\_Roach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Rock\_n\_Roach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock_n_Roach)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/616 "2004-07-27T03:57:07Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Time and tide … wait for no man and neither does “that damn train that already left…” It’s always darkest… ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/617 "2004-07-27T04:23:47Z")
> [@Rock n Roach](#): > > It’s always darkest… …in the hour before Krispy Kreme opens. Welcome, my friends, to the show… ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/618 "2004-07-27T05:47:27Z")
…Unfortunately, our lighting techs all died from an alien retrovirus, so the lights for this performance will be run by an untrained monkey. We apologize for the inconvience. And all the goyem say he’s pretty fly for a… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/619 "2004-07-27T12:30:43Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > …And all the goyem say he’s pretty fly for a… untrained chimp allowed to run riot in the oval office. Some ejits are fooled into believing that he is really POTUS. Those who fight and run away… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/620 "2004-07-27T12:53:37Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > untrained chimp allowed to run riot in the oval office. Some ejits are fooled into believing that he is really POTUS. > > Those who fight and run away… risk getting caught in a blind alley if they don’t look where they’re going. There’s always a light at the end of… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=30) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=32)