# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 32
**Author:** ![bittersweet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@bittersweet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bittersweet)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/621 "2004-07-27T14:05:09Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > There’s always a light at the end of… a flashlight, unless the batteries are dead. **The way to a man’s heart…** ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/622 "2004-07-27T15:05:15Z")
> [@bittersweet](#): > > a flashlight, unless the batteries are dead. > > **The way to a man’s heart…** is straight through the wall of his chest while turning your hand and praying to Kali, unless he’s Harrison Ford. I’ve grown accustomed to her… ---
**Author:** ![rexnervous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@rexnervous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rexnervous)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/623 "2004-07-27T15:30:47Z")
> [@photopat](#): > > is straight through the wall of his chest while turning your hand and praying to Kali, unless he’s Harrison Ford. > > I’ve grown accustomed to her… thick beard, and the stress that travelling with the circus puts on our relationship. Saw me and Julio… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/624 "2004-07-27T16:20:14Z")
> [@rexnervous](#): > > thick beard, and the stress that travelling with the circus puts on our relationship. > > Saw me and Julio… in a mad passionate embrace under the jungle gym down by the schoolyard. Tomorrow and tomorrow and… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/625 "2004-07-27T16:38:15Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Tomorrow and tomorrow and… the day after that, and the day after that **again** … when is something really exciting going to happen? The proof of the pudding… ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/626 "2004-07-27T19:51:58Z")
…is 2. I realize that means there’s only 1% alchohol in there, but even that’s too much when you consider the fact that THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A FREAKIN’ NONALCHOHOLIC PUDDING!!! Luck be a lady… ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/627 "2004-07-28T01:28:29Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > Luck be a lady… Royalty really turns me on. All roads lead to… ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/628 "2004-07-28T01:56:10Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > .Luck be a lady… …$3000 and a good dose of hormones later. A rolling stone… ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/629 "2004-07-28T03:13:36Z")
> [@dwalin](#): > > All roads lead to… …Coffeeville, Mississippi, if you follow them closely enough. > [@inkleberry](#): > > A rolling stone… …is a rocking stoner - just ask Keith Richards. From now on, I’ll connect the dots… ---
**Author:** ![Rock\_n\_Roach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Rock\_n\_Roach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock_n_Roach)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/630 "2004-07-28T03:39:41Z")
> [@](#): > > **Nightwatch Trailer** From now on, I’ll connect the dots… …and not the numbers next to the dots. Makes for a smoother, prettier, and much more obvious picture. (Something I learned later in life) better late than… ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/631 "2004-07-28T05:50:20Z")
…so early that what you were going to do was lost in the mists of time and legend thousands of years before it became necessary for you to do it. Eh, they’re 1920s style… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/632 "2004-07-28T12:53:40Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > …Eh, they’re 1920s style… clothes - and they’ve just come into fashion again. He who pays the piper… ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/633 "2004-07-28T14:21:31Z")
. . . shouldn’t have to worry about leaky plumbing for a few years. He who doesn’t pay will be, well, hosed. Alas, poor Yorik! I knew . . . ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/634 "2004-07-28T16:02:37Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > . . . shouldn’t have to worry about leaky plumbing for a few years. He who doesn’t pay will be, well, hosed. > > Alas, poor Yorik! I knew . . . homeopathy wouldn’t work, but would he listen? Nooooo. To boldly go where… ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/635 "2004-07-28T18:10:46Z")
…_EVERYONE_ has gone before. Thank you Mario! But our princess… ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/636 "2004-07-28T18:46:50Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > …_EVERYONE_ has gone before. > > Thank you Mario! But our princess… Already has 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping, 10 lords a-leaping, 9 ladies dancing, 8 maids a-milking, 7 swans a-swimming, 6 geese a-laying, 5 golden rings, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree! “Check yes or…” ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/637 "2004-07-28T18:49:46Z")
> [@emekthian](#): > > … > Thank you Mario! But our princess… doesn’t like spagetti - she wants a pizza - king-size pepperoni with extra cheese. He who helps another … ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/638 "2004-07-28T20:15:55Z")
> [@Achren](#): > > “Check yes or…” …no, but either way we’re sending you our FREE\* PROMOTIONAL LITERATURE! \*Literature may or may not actually be free. > [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > He who helps another … …smuggle contraband in from Colombia may or may not be a friend. Watch your goods once you hit the border. Extra, extra! Read all about… ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/639 "2004-07-29T00:23:31Z")
> [@Nightwatch Trailer](#): > > … > Extra, extra! Read all about… Cecil is standing as the Straightish Dopish candidate in the next Presidential Election. Campaign workers, and financial contributions, urgently required. Keep your friends close … ---
**Author:** ![Eliphalet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eliphalet/32/9563_2.png) [@Eliphalet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eliphalet)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/640 "2004-07-29T19:14:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Keep your friends close… … and your enema’s closer. Really, you don’t want your friends finding those. All Hail, Ming the… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=31) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=33)