# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 35
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/681 "2004-09-09T17:36:05Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > …cookies, and if i find them and kill them, then I will have all the cookies! HA! > > I will show you despair… …if you show me dat pair. Life, or something… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/682 "2004-09-10T00:38:52Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > Life, or something… … like Monopoly would be a suitable Xmas present for an 8 year old. Don’t worry, his bark is worse … ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/683 "2004-09-10T01:20:14Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > … Don’t worry, his bark is worse … than his dogs’ - so ignore him and talk to the dog! Too many cooks … ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/684 "2004-09-10T01:21:51Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > … > > Don’t worry, his bark is worse … Is much better than his STDs. The dude just won’t believe that bleach won’t get that shit gone. **Step on a crack and…** ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/685 "2004-09-10T01:25:04Z")
SIMULPOST!! 😃 > [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Too many cooks … …are friggin’ annoying. One says it’s half cup, the other wants more cream added and the last one is complaining that the oven isn’t hot enough. Shouldn’t we get some more supervisors in here to correct this?? **You had me at…** ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/686 "2004-09-10T01:29:27Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > **Step on a crack and…** the earth will swallow you up. Sugar and spice and all things nice … ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/687 "2004-09-10T01:34:27Z")
> [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > Sugar and spice and all things nice … … sure doesn’t describe most of the catty, petty, manipulative women I know. Yeah mom, I’m talking to you too. That saying must only apply to birthday cakes or something. I don’t wanna add in other new ones yet, so I’ll just repeat this one: **You had me at…** (And hope the damn thing doesn’t post twice again -and- there isn’t any typos, like the first one.) ::: sigh ::: ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/688 "2004-09-10T01:43:29Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > … **You had me at…** the party, but you wouldn’t share your drink ;-( Slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails … ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/689 "2004-09-10T02:16:24Z")
Oh ye of little faith. Of course I would have, all you had to do was ask and then bat those eyelashes. 😉 > [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](#): > > the party, but you wouldn’t share your drink ;-( > > Slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails … …is supposedly what Jeffrey Dahmer started his career out on. Ewww! **That’s a permanent solution…** ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/690 "2004-09-10T05:55:16Z")
> [@](#): > > That’s a permanent solution… …and that’s the neutralizer, and this is a conditioner, to keep your hair from drying out. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/691 "2004-09-10T05:56:27Z")
When a man with a pistol and a man with a rifle meet… ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/692 "2004-09-10T06:05:54Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > When a man with a pistol and a man with a rifle meet… They exchange stories about this one time when Charlton Heston was at military camp and got into a fight with Michael Moore about where to “store” their “weapons.” 😉😃 **Play it again…** ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/693 "2004-09-10T06:19:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Play it again… …and I’ll take your damned Outkast CD, turn it sideways, and shove it where the sun don’t shine. I freaking hate “Hey Ya”. Seriously, guys at work, quit playing it. Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the things… ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2004, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/694 "2004-09-10T06:45:15Z")
[**Notes on Game & Post-Count Party Threads**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=231482). **Cajun Man** for the SDMB [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=34)