# If life gives you lemons... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931 "2004-06-24T02:27:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/61 "2004-06-24T14:09:54Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > loose lips sink… …thoughts of a sexual persuasion. > [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Lie down with dogs… …wake up with stitches. > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Fighting ignorance since 1973… …you’re stupider than you think. When God closes a door… ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/62 "2004-06-24T14:18:24Z")
… those of use who forgot our keys get locked out. Absence makes the heart … ---
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/63 "2004-06-24T14:25:12Z")
> [@](#): > > … those of use who forgot our keys get locked out. > Absence makes the heart … get tired of waiting, and find someone else. A penny saved is… ---
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/64 "2004-06-24T14:26:34Z")
Oh, crap. How about: When in doubt… ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/65 "2004-06-24T14:31:08Z")
> [@mlerose](#): > > When in doubt… […have a little drink.](http://www2.b3ta.com/drink/) The following link may be offensive to some. Particularly tramps, kittens and squirrels. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/66 "2004-06-24T14:54:37Z")
> [@mlerose](#): > > get tired of waiting, and find someone else. > > A penny saved is… a penny that’s going to heaven. “You don’t always get…” ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/67 "2004-06-24T15:22:08Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > a penny that’s going to heaven. > > “You don’t always get…” … a prince with you kiss a toad. People in glass houses… ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/68 "2004-06-24T15:24:33Z")
Oh crap. > [@Anonymous Coward](#): > > … a prince **when** you kiss a toad. People in glass houses… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/69 "2004-06-24T15:25:22Z")
…must have outrageous air conditioning bills. Rome wasn’t built… ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/70 "2004-06-24T15:28:53Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > …must have outrageous air conditioning bills. > > Rome wasn’t built… …with union labor. If you love something… ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/71 "2004-06-24T15:35:30Z")
> [@](#): > > …with union labor. > > If you love something… Be sure to use protection. measure twice… ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/72 "2004-06-24T15:51:41Z")
> [@](#): > > measure twice… cut once, realize the thing you were measuring was the wrong size to begin with, go back, re-cut it, but forget to measure the other thing you cut, throw project out window, get a beer. > [@](#): > > The meek shall inherit… the earth, in plots 4 x 7. [Lazarus Long] When a man loves a woman… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/73 "2004-06-24T15:55:46Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > cut once, realize the thing you were measuring was the wrong size to begin with, go back, re-cut it, but forget to measure the other thing you cut, throw project out window, get a beer. > the earth, in plots 4 x 7. [Lazarus Long] > > When a man loves a woman… the act is approved by the Georgia Legislature. Crime doesn’t pay… ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/74 "2004-06-24T15:57:35Z")
_When a man loves a woman…_ …he’s probably stuck in a miserable marriage to another woman he no longer loves. To be or not to be… ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/75 "2004-06-24T15:59:03Z")
_Crime doesn’t pay…_ And the benefits suck, too. Birds of a feather… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/76 "2004-06-24T16:03:01Z")
> [@dwc1970](#): > > _Crime doesn’t pay…_ > > And the benefits suck, too. > > Birds of a feather… find it easier to fly than naked birds. Speak softly… ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/77 "2004-06-24T16:07:39Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > Speak softly… … because loud noises will cause neighbors to call the police. Beauty is only … ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/78 "2004-06-24T16:10:11Z")
**To be or not to be…** …I still want out of this god damn box. **Beauty is only…** …delicious with ketchup. Snap! Crackle!.. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/79 "2004-06-24T16:10:58Z")
> [@](#): > > Beauty is only … … a light-switch away, baby. If you can’t say something nice… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931/80 "2004-06-24T16:12:47Z")
Dammit! > [@](#): > > Snap! Crackle!.. …compound fracture! If you can’t say something nice… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-gives-you-lemons/251931.md?page=5)