# If life is a rock and the radio rolls me... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2002, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975 "2002-03-30T22:52:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/341 "2002-04-22T00:31:22Z")
Little Willie Willie won’t Go Home! But you can’t push Willie round Willie won’t go! Try tellin’ everybody, but Oh No! But little willie willie won’t Go Home" happy trails to you… ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/342 "2002-04-22T00:49:39Z")
Mama’s got a squeeze box she wears on her chest And when Daddy comes home, he never gets no rest 'Cause she’s playing all night and the music’s all right Mama’s got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night Well, the kids don’t eat and the dog can’t sleep There’s no escape from the music in the whole damn street 'Cause she’s playing all night and the music’s all right Mama’s got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night She goes in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out She’s playing all night and the music’s all right Mama’s got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night She goes, squeeze me, come on and squeeze me Come on and tease me like you do I’m so in love with you Mama’s got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night 😛 ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/343 "2002-04-22T00:58:20Z")
Oh, it’s so nice to be with you I love all the things you say and do And it’s so nice to hear you say You’re gonna please me in every way Honey, I got the notion You’re causin’ commotion in my soul (retch here) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/344 "2002-04-22T02:28:52Z")
“If I was a carpenter and you were a lady Would you marry me anyway, would you have my baby?” “If you were a carpenter and I was a lady I’d marry you anyway, I’d have your baby” “If a tinker was my trade, would I still find you?” “I’d be carryin’ the pots you made, followin’ behind you” By Johnny and June Carter Cash :::ducks & runs::: ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/345 "2002-04-22T02:50:01Z")
it has been _ **DONE** _ (check your email 😛 ) and to continue our grand tour of dreck: Tommy Roe presents: “Dizzy, I’m so dizzy my head is spinning Like a whirlpool it never ends And it’s You girl makin’ it spin You’re making me dizzy…” ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/346 "2002-04-22T17:15:08Z")
Death’s been covered, but here are two somewhat corny entries about homicide:[ul][li] **Rolling Stones** ”Too Much Blood” Proof in my opinion they should have hung it up in 1980.[/li] Some Snippets: - … A friend of mine was this Japanese. He had a girlfriend in Paris. He tried to date her in six months and eventually she said yes. You know he took her to his apartment, cut off her head. Put the rest of her body in the refrigerator, ate her piece by piece. Put her in the refrigerator, put her in the freezer. And when he ate her and took her bones to the Bois de Boulogne, by chance a taxi driver noticed him burying the bones. You don’t believe me? Truth is stranger than fiction. We drive through there every day… Did you ever see ‘Texas Chain Saw Massacre’? Horrible, wasn’t it? You know people ask me: it is really true where you live in Texas, it is really true what they do around there, people? I say, “yeah everytime I drive through the crossroads I get scared there’s a bloke running around with a fucking chain saw. Oh oh no, gonna, oh no. Don’t saw off me leg, don’t saw off me arm.” When I get to the movies, you know I’d like to see something more romantic, you know. Like ‘An Officer and a Gentleman’ or something. Something you can take the wife to, you know what I mean?…\* [li] **Warren Zevon** ”Excitable Boy” No offense to the man, but these lyrics are a combination of morbid and corny dreck.[/ul] [/li]Some Snippets: _… He took little Suzie to the Junior Prom…And he raped her and killed her, then he took her home…After ten long years they let him out of the home…And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones…Excitable boy, they all said. Well, he’s just an excitable boy…_ **A small hint/aside** to those who read the thread but don’t remember if an exact song was previously posted. To avoid _Heathen’s wrath_, view the **thread in the printable version & click the “show all ### threads on one page option”** and do a find on some keywords of your post prior to submitting. ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/347 "2002-04-22T18:55:23Z")
How do you do what you do to me? I wish I knew If I knew how you do it to me I’d do it to you… (Gerry and the Pacemakers) or, one could email me for a list of songs done, and save the hamster the work: bushy\_hare ‘at’ yahoo ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/348 "2002-04-22T20:14:40Z")
This is some of the junk that I heard while at work today. Sussudio–Phil Collins Human–Human League Born a Woman–Sandy Posey Woman, Woman–Gary Puckett and the Union Gap I’m going to go puke now. ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/349 "2002-04-22T20:41:23Z")
LYRICS! We need LYRICS! I can’t find this one, so maybe it exists only in my mind (if so, it would have LOTS of company) “Girl, you’ll be a woman soon, You’ll learn how to love…” (and yes, this covers Neil D’s dreck, so don’t try to claim that one 😛 ) ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/350 "2002-04-23T00:56:10Z")
There’s a girl that’s been on my mind Su Su Sussudio I’m only human Of flesh and blood A man Cause I was born a woman I didn’t have no say But when my man comes home late, he makes me glad it happened that way Woman, woman, Have you got cheating on your mind? Thanks, happyheathen. I’m sick all over again. You will have to dig pretty deep to uncover a song that is more drecky than Born a Woman. I await your attempt. ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/351 "2002-04-23T01:04:20Z")
Baby cried the day the circus came to town ‘cause she didn’t want parades just passin’ by her So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown While she danced without a net upon the wire I know a lot about 'er 'cause, you see Baby is an awful lot like me Don’t cry out loooud Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings Fly high and proud And if you should fall, remember you almost had it aaaallll… ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/352 "2002-04-23T02:42:43Z")
So if you want my body And you think I’m sexy Come on, Sugar, tell me so. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/353 "2002-04-23T02:48:26Z")
Help me information, more than that I cannot add Only that I miss her and all the fun we had We were pulled apart because her mom did not agree Tore apart our happy home in Memphis Tennessee Last time I saw Marie she’s wavin’ me good-bye With hurry home drops on her cheek that trickled from her eye Marie is only six years old, information please Try to put me through to her in Memphis, Tennessee “Memphis, Tennessee” was Chuck Berry’s song to his daughter, Marie. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/354 "2002-04-23T03:02:06Z")
And the eagle flies With the dove. So if you can’t be With the one you love, Honey, love the one you’re with. ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/355 "2002-04-23T03:17:52Z")
Please remember… DRECK! What we are looking for, here is DRECK!!! Rod Stewart Chuck Berry (at least use “My Ding-a-Ling”) Steven Stills? you want Stills? I’ll give you Stills (this one make HIM cringe): "There’s something happening here What it is ain’t exactly clear There’s a man with a gun over there Telling me I got to beware I think it’s time we stop, children, what’s that sound Everybody look what’s going down There’s battle lines being drawn Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong Young people speaking their minds Getting so much resistance from behind I think it’s time we stop, hey, what’s that sound Everybody look what’s going down…" ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/356 "2002-04-23T03:20:41Z")
I don’t believe virginity is as common as it used to be in working days and sleeping nights that black is black and white is white that Superman and Robin Hood are still alive in Hollywood that gasoline’s in short supply the rising cost of getting by. But I believe in love, I believe in old folks I believe in children, I believe in you. I believe in love, I believe in babies I believe in mom and dad, and I believe in you. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/357 "2002-04-23T03:28:21Z")
"Sloopy lives in a very bad part of town Everybody else, tries to put my sloopy down Sloopy I don’t care what your daddy do Cuz you know sloopy, girl, I’m in love with you And so I say now Hang on sloopy, sloopy hang on" ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/358 "2002-04-23T03:41:00Z")
My girl Bill My, my girl Bill Can’t say enough About the way I feel About my girl Bill ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/359 "2002-04-23T03:57:12Z")
Clap for the wolfman, he gonna rate your record high Clap for the wolfman, you gonna dig him till the day you die Clap for the wolfman, he gonna rate your record high (Umm, yes gracious) Clap for the wolfman, you gonna dig him till the day you die (Heh heh heh, oh wow) Doo Ron Ron and The Duke of Earl, they were friends of mine And I was on my moonlight drive Snuggled in, said “Baby just one kiss…” she said “No, no, no” “Romance ain’t keeping me alive!” Said “Hey babe, d’you wanna coo, coo, coo?” she said “Ah, ah, ah” So I was left out in the cold I said “You’re what I’ve been dreaming of” she said “I don’t want to know!” (Oh you know, she was diggin’ the cat on the radio!) Clap for the wolfman, he gonna rate your record high (Yes baby I gonna, doctor love!) Clap for the wolfman, you gonna dig him till the day you die (Everybody’s talking about The Wolfman’s “pompatous of love”) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2002, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/360 "2002-04-23T04:08:08Z")
After a while, I’m myself again I pick the pieces off the floor. Put my heart on the shelf again. He’ll never hurt me any more. I’m not some puppet on a string I’ll find somebody else someday. That’s when the phone rings and I jump. And as I grab the phone I pray Let it please be him, my dear God It must be him, it must be him Or I shall die. Or I shall die. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975.md?page=19)