# If life is a rock and the radio rolls me... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2002, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975 "2002-03-30T22:52:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/41 "2002-04-01T21:16:10Z")
Oh hey, 98.6, it’s good to have you back again Oh hey, 98.6, her lovin’ is the medicine That saves me Oh I love my baaaaabyyyyyy. (Nocturne is supposedly too young to know all these songs.) ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/42 "2002-04-01T21:58:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nocturne \* > \*\*Oh hey, 98.6, it’s good to have you back again > Oh hey, 98.6, her lovin’ is the medicine > That saves me > Oh I love my baaaaabyyyyyy. > > (Nocturne is supposedly too young to know all these songs.) \*\* **HappyHeathen** : I laugh at your “Night that the Lights Went out In Georgia” HA! But I’ll admit that **Nocturne** actually caused me some emotional distress with that little helping of phlegm. But I’ll see both of you and raise you with: The Archies: \*Hey! Mister Factory. Don’tcha care? Soon the little children Won’t have Any air! Hey! Mr. Motorcar Stop a while We can’t breath Another mile. \* Are you all enjoying the pain?! Heh. I feel like Dr. Forrester and this is Mystery Science BadSongs 3000. Dr Fenris (and TV’S HappyHeathen) PS: On a completely related plug, since all of you are astute students of stinky songs, let me mention my very relevant article in [The current issue of Teemings](http://www.teemings.com/issue10/fenris.html). And if you like it, could y’all do me a favor and say so. In this thread. Repeatedly? [sub]Scylla thinks he can out-advertise me, eh?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/43 "2002-04-01T22:03:07Z")
:rolleyes: Or, even better, [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=106874) thread. ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/44 "2002-04-01T22:10:46Z")
I just gotta get a message to yooouuu Oh yeah, oh yeah One more hour and my life will be through Oh yeah, Oh yeah on the other turntable: R. Dean Taylor ::bwahahaha:: ---
**Author:** ![Witch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Witch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Witch)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/45 "2002-04-01T23:09:19Z")
One bad apple dont spoil the whole bunch girl OOOOOOOHHHH give it one more try before you give up our love one bad aplle dont spoil the whole bunch girl OOOOOOOHHHH I dont care what they say I dont care what you heard now OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO Dont waste my time 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/46 "2002-04-01T23:14:24Z")
Way on the other side of the Hudson Deep in the bosom of Suburbia I met a young girl, she sang mighty fine Tears on my Pillow and Ave Maria Standing by the waterfall in Hyannis Park She was working for the Friends of EAI She was collecting quarters in a paper cup She was looking for change - and so was I She was a Jewish girl, I fell in love with her She wrote her number on the back of my hand I called her up, I was all out of breath I said “Come hear me play in my rock and roll band” I took a shower and I put on my best blue jeans I picked her up in my new VW van She wore a peasant blouse with nothing underneath I said “Hi”, she said “Yeah, I guess I am…” Shall I stop? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/47 "2002-04-01T23:51:12Z")
**Rico** - what was that? musta come out one of those weeks I was comatose 😃 Yummy, yummy, yummy I got love in my tummy and I feel like lovin’ you… ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/48 "2002-04-02T00:15:08Z")
Do **NOT** make us call out the _FEARLESS MEN WHO JUMP AND DIE_… ---
**Author:** ![Witch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Witch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Witch)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/49 "2002-04-02T00:29:40Z")
whoooa hooo hooo its maaagic you knoooooow never believe its not so its magic - you knooow never believe its not so love the sunny days dream of far away dreaming on my pillow in the moooorning lazy day in bed music in my head crazy music playing in the morning- liight. Humph:p ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/50 "2002-04-02T00:31:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by happyheathen \* > I just gotta get a message to yooouuu Damn, **happyheathen** , that’s the one **I** was saving as my heavy artillery!! Ah well, if I must, I must: _Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without takin’ but I sent you away oh Mandy…_ And: _In the event of something happening to me there is something I would like you all to see it’s just a photograph of someone that I knew…_ ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/51 "2002-04-02T00:37:15Z")
**JRD -** Don’t threaten ME with that puny crap! If a man ever needed dyin’, he did no one had the right to say what he said about you and it’s so cold and lonely here without you. Outside, the law’s a comin’ I’m gettin’ so tired of runnin’ Indiana wants me! Lord, I can’t go back there… top that ‘silver wings on their chests’! **Fenris -** nice treatment of bubblegum, but you missed a couple ::evil smiley here:: ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/52 "2002-04-02T01:04:54Z")
Sure, all those songs are cute. Welcome to my personal hell: "Who can take a sunrise. Sprinkle it with dew. Cover it with chocolate and a miracle or two. The candy man. Oh the candy man can. The candy man can, cause he mixes it with love to make the world taste good. Who can take a rainbow. Wrap it in a a sigh. Soak it in the sun. And make a groovy lemon pie. The candy man The candy man The candy man can cause he mixes it with love to make the world taste good." ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/53 "2002-04-02T01:21:21Z")
I’m gonna kill your mother Your father too then I’m coming back to waste you. You’re whole family’s gonna die I’m gonna send 'em up to the spirit in the sky b. [sub] bet you sing it that way all day tomorrow![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/54 "2002-04-02T01:23:08Z")
That was a JOKE by the way. Don’t want anyone accusing me of anything other than being out of my mind. b. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/55 "2002-04-02T01:25:21Z")
Hi! Couldn’t pass up the thread… Ahem… - In the year 2525, If man is still alive, If woman can survive, They may find- In the year 3535 Ain’t gonna need to tell the truth, Tell no lies. Everything you think, do, and say Is in the pill you took today. In the year 4545 Ain’t gonna need your teeth, Won’t need your eyes. You won’t find a thing to chew, Nobody’s gonna look at you. (ect, ad nauseum…) \* Thank You. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/56 "2002-04-02T01:55:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by happyheathen \* > \*\ ***Rico** - what was that? musta come out one of those weeks I was comatose 😃 That is one of my favorite artists! [Dean Friedman](http://www.deanfriedman.com) had exactly 2 hits - that was from his biggest hit “Ariel”, his other hit was “Woman of Mine”, the chorus went like this: Oh, woman of mine You picked a mighty fine time To tell me that you’re on your way Now that I’m out of my mind Tell me how the hell I’m going to make it through another day… Baby there’s just no way… Dean is one hell of a lyricist…and in my e-mail and IM conversations with him, one hell of a nice guy, as well. And yes, I have a secret weapon I will pull out…and I always get the last word on music-related items! I was a DJ for 20 years, no one better challenge me LMAO. 😃 Rico ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/57 "2002-04-02T01:59:17Z")
OK: Heavy gun time. The original song in the thread (“Life is a rock” had three things going for it. Vaguely clever lyrics (by comparison), decent singing (by comparison) and a tune that doesn’t _instantly_ induce dry heaves. This little nugget of walrus pus is from _1910 Fruitgum Company_ and is the _distilled essence_ of pure EVIL. They mention a ton of bad songs reverently, **including MacArthur Park!**. That’s right: It’s a MacArthur Park TRIBUTE SONG. And the vocals. If it were sung by the Chipmunks on helium, it’d be an improvement. It’s bad. It’s very, very bad. Be afraid. Pain, Doctors. **The ‘Song’ Song** (sung to more-or-less the tune of “Simple Simon”. Mostly) Well, meet me down at Lulu’s We’ll do The Horse all night (??! Oral Equine Sex?! Yuk!) And then we’ll play a game called 1-2-3 Red Light Reach out in the darkness Don’t meet me in the dark We’ll have a stone-cold picnic Down in MacArthur Park Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo’d Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo’d Doo Yummy, Yummy, Yummy she’ll be Doo-Daa-Day Simon Says “You’re perfect in every way” “Lala” means I love you and that’s only the start May I take a giant step into your heart. (wouldn’t that kill her?) Let’s go to the Jelly Jungle And take a dip in Indian Lake I’ve got a feeling that love is all around But beware (lyrics mercifully garbled…something like “that I’m a fake” or “it in our faith”? Be sure of this. Whatever those four words are: they suck.) Ev’rybody now Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo’d Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo’d Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo’d Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Doo-Doo’d Doo ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/58 "2002-04-02T01:59:58Z")
Well, life on the farm is kinda laid back Ain’t much an old country boy like me can’t hack It’s early to rise, early in the sack Thank God, I’m A Country Boy Well a simple kinda life never did me no harm A raisin’ me a family and workin’ on a farm My days are all filled with an easy country charm Thank God I’m a country boy When the work’s all done and the sun’s settin’ low I pull out my fiddle and I rosin’ up the bow The kids are asleep so I keep it kinda low Thank God I’m a country boy _I have not yet BEGUN to fight_ ---
**Author:** ![Witch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Witch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Witch)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/59 "2002-04-02T02:59:55Z")
Theres something about her hand holding mine- its a feeling thats fine and i’ve just gotta saaa-ay shes really got a magical spell and its working so well that I cant get away I’m a lucky fella and i just gotta tell her that i’ll love her endlessly Because love grows where my rosemary goes and nobody knows loiiiike meeeeee Eat my dust. (a Reminder: looking then up is…cheating!) ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/60 "2002-04-02T03:46:49Z")
For there’s a guard and there’s a sad old padre, Arm-in-arm we’ll walk a daybreak; Again, I’ll touch The green. green grass of home. Yes, they’ll all come to see me in the shade of that old oak tree, as they lay me 'neath The green. green grass of home. and I haven’t even TOUCHED surfer music. **FENRIS** - no fair using compilations - they subvert the True Meaning of this thread. e.g. ‘we’ll have William Jennings Bryant stoking coal on #9’ this precludes anyone else form using this piece of dreck without establishing I know either it’s origin (Blue Water Line) or any more of the lyrics. **WITCH** - listening to a recording you own is NOT 'looking it up" 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975.md?page=4)