# If life is a rock and the radio rolls me... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2002, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975 "2002-03-30T22:52:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/61 "2002-04-02T04:40:40Z")
Angie baby, you’re a special lady Living in the world of make-believe… Well, maybe Delta Dawn What’s that flower you have on Could it be a faded rose from days gone Byyyyyyyyyyyyy And did I hear you say He was a meetin’ you here today To take you to that castle in the sky-y (honorary mention) I beg your pardon I never promised you a rose garden Along with the sunshine There’s got to be a little rain sometime (purrp - I like, well, some of these - I even listen to a live365 station just to hear them.) Somebody named a business park near work “Macarthur Park” :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/62 "2002-04-02T04:45:32Z")
-blinks- I like some of these sonsg posted -sniffles that people think they are bad- not ALL of the ones listed though. ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/63 "2002-04-02T05:08:30Z")
this thread, as hijacked, is about TRULY WRETCHED lyrics. WITHOUT mentioning names, SOME have, it seems, decided that ANY oldie fits. THIS IS INCORRECT I am now (OK, it just ended) listening to something called “Dead Puppies” - it fits, but is too obscure for inclusion. Likewise, like **Obsidian Flutterby** , I LIKE some of these - WOLD is one example. Please be considerate. …wanders off humming “Delta Dawn” (B. Midler cover)… (Reddy’s cover was, however, passable) ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/64 "2002-04-02T07:30:11Z")
I hear a neighbor, telling my father He says a girl name of Patches was found Floating face-down in that dirty old river that flows by the coal yard in lod shanty town… Patches, oh what can I do I swear I’ll always love you It may not be right, But I’ll join you tonight - Patches, I’m coming to you… ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/65 "2002-04-02T08:13:56Z")
“Shannon is gone, I heard She’s drifted off to sea…” Remember that Henry Gross dreck? It’s a song about a freakin’ DOG, for goodness sakes! NEVER SURRENDER! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/66 "2002-04-02T08:44:46Z")
What was it you were looking for that took your life that night; They said they founf me High School ring, Tucked in your fingers tight Teen Angel, can you see me?, Teen angel can you See me? Are you aomewhere up above, and am I still your own true looove… ---
**Author:** ![JohnCocktoasten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@JohnCocktoasten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnCocktoasten)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/67 "2002-04-02T11:57:41Z")
_To your Henry Gross dog, might I add a horse…_ She comes down from Yellow Mountain On a dark, flat land she rides On a pony she named Wildfire With a whirlwind by her side On a cold Nebraska night Oh they say she died one winter When there came a killing frost And the pony she named Wildfire Busted down its stall In a blizzard he was lost She ran calling Wiiiiiiildfire… Please…stop…—…the…pain…is…too…muuuuuch ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/68 "2002-04-02T12:52:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by happyheathen \* > > **FENRIS** - no fair using compilations - they subvert the True Meaning of this thread. > \*\* What? Are you on CRACK?[sup]1[/sup] The whole **FREAKING** thread is about a compliation song! **HAVn’T You EVER EVEN _HEARD_ “LIFE IS A ROCK BUT THE RAIDO ROLLED ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!”** [sup]2[/sup] It’s a FREAKING compilation song! Just give up and admit that I won that round. You’ll feel better. I have thousands of e-mails from people reading this thread who agree with me. No. I won’t share them.[sup]3[/sup] And besides: early John Denver isn’t that bad. Not bad at the level of other horrors this thread has dredged up, in any case. Oh, and **happyheathen** (and everyone else?): Senator Everett Dirkson, 1966, ‘sang’ this little piece of excriment (I agree with his sentiment, btw, but his execution is ghastly): \ Down through the years There have been men Brave, gallant men Who have done That others might be free. And even now They do it still Brave, gallant men Know that someone’s And so they will Gallant men have built us a nation It’s kinda like The Ballad of the Green Berets, but without the subtlies and nuances of lyric and music. And no. The lyrics make no sense to me either. Fenris, in a _weird_ mood. [sup]1[/sup]This is meant for humorous effect. In no way am I angry with **happyheathen** , nor do I believe he was on Crack. He _is_ wrong, though 😃 [sup]2[/sup]These are examples of Argumentum ad Exclamation (More punctuation means my post is more convincing!) and Post Capital ergo Proper Bold (Bold and ALL CAPS mean I win! Nyaaaah!) [sup]3[/sup] Appeal to Invisible Authority: Lots of people support me. None o’ your business who they are. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/69 "2002-04-02T13:07:26Z")
So, it’s come to this: We are here on the beach where a giant shark has just eaten a girl swimmer. Well Mr. Jaws, how was it? “Dynomite” And what did she say when you grabbed her? “Please Mr. Please” I know sharks are stupid, but what did you think when you took that first bite? “How sweet it is” Mr. Jaws, before you swim out to sea, have you anything else to say? “Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends?” With me now is the local sheriff. Sheriff Brody, the shark will be back for lunch. What do you intend to do? “Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight” Just arriving is oceanographer Matt Hooper. Sir, if someone is attacked by a shark, what should they do? “Do the hustle” We are going aboard the fishing boat of Captain Quint. Captain, will you be able to catch this giant shark? “I will”, “I will”, “I will” thank you, captain “I will” captain! “I will” captain! “I will” captain! When you catch one of these sharks, what do you feel like? “Like a Rhinestone Cowboy” We’ve just sighted the shark again. He’s coming straight for us. Captain Quint is shouting something at him. “Get you baby one of these nights” Hey Jaws, the captain says he’s going to catch you. What do you think of that? “Jive talkin” Uh-oh, here he comes again! (Gun shots) They’ve hit him! Mr. Jaws, why doesn’t anything seem to hurt you? “Big boys don’t cry, big boys don’t cry” He’s coming right onto the boat! Mr. Jaws, why are you grabbing my hand? “Wouldn’t you give your hand to a friend?” No wait! Mr. Jaws! That’s not the way this record is supposed to end! Help! Help! (I still have “The Streak” and “Convoy” ready if it comes to that) ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/70 "2002-04-02T18:16:36Z")
I said ‘Mr Purple people eater, what’s your line?’ an’ he said ‘eatin’ purple people, and it sure is fine.’ ‘But that’s not the reason that I came to life - I wanna get a job in a rock-n-roll band’ O, bless my soul Rock-n-roll Flying purple people eater pidgeon-toed, under-towed Flying purple people eater \ Sure looks strange to me \ ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/71 "2002-04-02T20:14:23Z")
I realize the way your eyes deceived me with tender looks that I mistook for love So take away the flowers that you gave me and send the kind that you remind me of Paper roses paper roses oh how real those seemed to be I don’t like spiders and snakes and that ain’t what it takes to love me ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/72 "2002-04-02T21:11:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by happyheathen \* > \*\*I said ‘Mr Purple people eater, what’s your line?’ > an’ he said ‘eatin’ purple people, and it sure is fine.’ > ‘But that’s not the reason that I came to life - > I wanna get a job in a rock-n-roll band’ > > O, bless my soul > Rock-n-roll > Flying purple people eater > pidgeon-toed, under-towed > Flying purple people eater > \ > Sure looks strange to me > > \ \*\* that SHOULD be: Flying purple people eater \ Friendly little people eater Sure looks strange to me [sub]leaves to continue preparation for ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN[/sub] The Streak? Convoy? I sneeze in your general direction!!! ---
**Author:** ![Fish42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@Fish42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish42)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/73 "2002-04-02T21:53:13Z")
There were funky Chinamen In funky Chinatown They were choppin’ them up They were choppin’ them down It’s an ancient Chinese art And everybody took their part… Everybody was kung-fu fighting Those cats were fast as lightning It was a little bit freighting But they had expert timing. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/74 "2002-04-02T22:08:47Z")
Come on, kids. Play nice now. Yes, you knew it was coming… \*When this ol’ world gets me down And there’s no love to be found I close my eyes and there I find I’ve made a playground in my mind Where the children laugh And the children play And they’re singin’ a song All day… My name is Michael, I got a nickel I got a nickel, shiny and new I’m gonna buy me all kinds of candy That’s what I’m gonna do!\* That was from memory. I’ll stop there; I’m scaring myself! ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/75 "2002-04-02T23:45:28Z")
Tell Laura I love her, Tell Laura I need her. Tell Laura not to cry My love for her will never diiiiiieee. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/76 "2002-04-03T00:16:31Z")
Yes I like Pina Coladas And getting caught in the rain I’m not much into health food I am into champagne I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon And cut through all this red tape 'Cause you’re the lady I’ve looked for Come to me and escape… (and after all that, it turns out to be his wife…dammit!) :wally ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/77 "2002-04-03T00:28:16Z")
A) “Novelty” songs don’t count. They’re intentionally bad. B) Damn your eyes, **Spoons**! _I_ was gonna use “My Name is Michael”! You bastard. 😉 C) And same to you **HappyHeathen** for “Tell Laura I Love Her” And finally… Sung with a warblely off-key voice, with great Operatic pretentiousness. (whilst playing “Which note should I hit again?”) By Marsha Strassman (Mrs Kotter from “Welcome Back Kotter” and Honey from “Honey, I shrunk the Kids” The flower children Are bloomin’ everywhere Walkin’ up and down the street Headin’ for somewhere. The flower children Don’t want no sympathy ‘Cause they know where they’re goin’ Just! You! Wait! And! Seeeeeeeeeeee! They just wanna be wanted They just wanna be freeeeeeeee Why can’t we just love them And let them beeeeeee? The flower children Really know what’s right They’re just tryin’ to Tell! This! World! There’s No! Need! To! Fii[sup]iiiii[/sup]iiiii[sub]iiii[/sub]iiiight! They just wanna be wanted They just wanna be freeeeeeeee What if we just loved them And let them beeeeeee? The flower children Have one thing on their mind Livin’ in a world of love Love for All! Mankiiiiii[sup]iiiii[/sup]iiiii[sub]iiii[/sub]iiiind! oooooooooooooo[sup]oooooooooooo[/sup]oooooooooo[sub]ooooooo[/sub]oooh! oooooooooooooo[sup]oooooooooooo[/sup]oooooooooo[sub]ooooooo[/sub]oooh! oooooooooooooo[sup]oooooooooooo[/sup]oooooooooo[sub]ooooooo[/sub]oooh! I had to listen to this to transcribe it. I hate you all. Fenris, ears bleeding. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/78 "2002-04-03T00:47:21Z")
I just want to go on record as admitting that, not only do I **know** 90% of the songs mentioned in this thread… I have most of them on either CD or 45 RPM record. Ask anyone who’s been to my place. Geobabe? RTF? Airman Doors? Chime in people! Who’s the king of obscure records? ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/79 "2002-04-03T01:00:08Z")
a) This thread is NOT about OBSCURE. It is about BAD. b) Put up or shut up! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/80 "2002-04-03T01:11:15Z")
And they called it puppy love Just because we’re in our teens Tell them all it isn’t fair To take away my only dream [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975.md?page=5)