# If life is a rock and the radio rolls me... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2002, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975 "2002-03-30T22:52:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![meezer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9c0ed/32.png) [@meezer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meezer)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/101 "2002-04-03T17:58:04Z")
What about: Hey there Little Red Riding Hood You sure are looking good You’re everything a big, bad wolf could want OUWWWWWWWW ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/102 "2002-04-03T17:59:19Z")
By the time I get to Pheonix, She’ll be rising… ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/103 "2002-04-03T18:35:31Z")
If I had a mind to I wouldn’t want to think like you And if I had time to I wouldn’t want to talk to you {Refrain} Oh, I don’t care what you do I wouldn’t want to be like you If I was high class I wouldn’t need a buck to pass And if I was a fall guy I wouldn’t need no alibi {Refrain} Back on the bottom line Diggin’ for a lousy dime If I hit a mother lode I’d cover anything that showed {Refrain} Oh, I don’t care what you do I wouldn’t wanna I wouldn’t want to be like you, no I wouldn’t want to be like you Yeah, yeah, ooh 😃 (Has anyone thought of doing the old Steve Allen routine and doing dramatic readings of these lyrics?) ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/104 "2002-04-03T19:00:11Z")
alright! This one is so ugly, _ **I** _ had to turn it off: (by _Brotherhood of Man_) There’s nowhere in the world that I would rather be Than with you my love And there’s nothing in the world that I would rather see Than your smile my love For united we stand Divided we fall And if our backs should ever be against the wall We’ll be together, together, you and I For united we stand Divided we fall And if our backs should ever be against the wall We’ll be together, together, you and I And if the world about you falls apart my love Then I’ll still be here And if the going gets too hard along the way Just you call, I’ll hear For united we stand Divided we fall And if our backs should ever be against the wall We’ll be together, together, you and I For united we stand Divided we fall And if our backs should ever be against the wall We’ll be together, together, you and I For united we stand Divided we fall And if our backs should ever be against the wall We’ll be together, together… (YOU! - up against the wall!) how come no one’s done Wings yet? ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/105 "2002-04-03T19:01:26Z")
Won’t come back from dead man’s cuuuurve… ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/106 "2002-04-03T19:03:23Z")
Q: What do you call a dog with wings? A: Linda McCartney (sorry, it’s not nice to make fun of the dead…) How about this truly inspired lyric? De do do do, de da da da Is all I want to say to you De do do do, de da da da Their innocence will pull me through De do do do, de da da da Is all I want to say to you De do do do, de da da da They’re meaningless and all that’s true \ I got a million of 'em! \ ---
**Author:** ![JohnCocktoasten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@JohnCocktoasten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnCocktoasten)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/107 "2002-04-03T19:56:05Z")
re: the idea of bad music…one man’s bad is another’s childhood memory. 🆒 Henceforth: Blown 'round by the wind thrown down in a spin I gave you love, I thought that we had made it to the top I gave you all I have to give why did it have to stop? You’ve blown it all sky high by telling me a lie without a reason why… you’ve blown it all skyyyyyy hiiiiiiiigh ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/108 "2002-04-03T20:12:28Z")
My vote is for BAAAAAD! Ho, ho, ho It’s magic you know Never believe, it’s not so It’s magic, you know Never believe, it’s not so Never been awake Never seen a day break Leaning on my pillow in the morning Lazy day in bed Music in my head Crazy music playing in the morning light I love my sunny day Dream of far away Dreaming on my pillow in the morning Never been awake Never seen a day break Leaning on my pillow in the morning light Ho, ho, ho It’s magic, you know Never believe it’s not so It’s magic, you know Never believe, it’s not so ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/109 "2002-04-03T20:19:50Z")
He was born in Oklahoma His wife’s name is Betty Jo Thelma Liz. He’s not responsible for what he’s doing; His mother made him what he is. And it’s up against the wall redneck mother Mother who has raised her son so well. He’s thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks Just kicking all them hippies’ asses raising hell. Well, you know, he sure likes to drink that Lone Star beer And he chases it down with that Wild Turkey bourbon liquor. He got a ‘57 GMC pick ‘em up truck with a gun rack And a “I’d Rather Be A Roper Than A Doper” bumper sticker. And it’s up against the wall redneck mother Mother who has raised her son so well. He’s thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks Just kicking all them hippies’ asses raising hell. M is for the mud flaps you gave me for my pick-up truck O is for the oil I put in my pick-up truck, drain it out, and put grease on my hair, T is for Tolly Parton, H is for Haggard E is for El Paso and R is for REDNECK! And it’s up against the wall redneck mother Mother who has raised her son so well. He’s thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks Kicking all them hippies’ asses raising hell. And it’s up against the wall redneck mother Mother who has raised her son so well. And he’s thirty-four and drinking in them honky-tonks Just kicking all them hippies’ asses raising hell. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/110 "2002-04-03T20:31:11Z")
Having my baby, what a lovely way of saying how much you love me. Having my baby, what a lovely way of saying what you’re thinking of me. I can see it Your face is glowing I can see it in your eyes I’m happy in knowing… That your having my baby, you’re the woman I love and I love what it’s doing to you. Having my baby, you’re a woman in love and I love what’s going through you. The need inside you I see it showing Oh, the seed inside you baby do you feel it growing. Are you happy in knowing… **FENRIS** - I KNOW you would have thought of it… EVENTUALLY 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/111 "2002-04-03T20:59:23Z")
For that matter I’ve **played** a lot of these songs. Not as a DJ…with a guitar! Bad, my ass. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/112 "2002-04-03T21:21:48Z")
Well I was driving down I-95 the other night, when somebody nearly cut me right off the road. I decided it wasn’t going to do any good to get mad, so I wrote a song about him instead. It goes like this… Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life? Either way it worked out fine, 'cause you’re an asshole tonight. Yes you’re an A-S-S-H-O-L-E, and don’t you try to blame it on me, you deserve all the credit, you’re an asshole tonight. You were an asshole yesterday, you’re an asshole tonight, and I’ve got a feeling, you’ll be an asshole the rest of your life. And I was talking to your mother, just the other night, I told her I thought you were an asshole, she said “yes, I think you’re right”. And all your friends are assholes, 'cause you’ve known them your whole life, and somebody told me, you’ve got an asshole for a wife. Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life? Either way it worked out fine, 'cause you’re an asshole tonight. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/113 "2002-04-03T21:30:55Z")
Midnight at the Oasis Put your camel to bed Oh! it’s nice to be with you I love all the things you do I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony Truely awful dreck anly requires one sentence to infect your brain. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/114 "2002-04-03T21:51:17Z")
My eyes adored you… 'Though I never laid a hand on you, my eyes adored you… Like a million miles away from me you couldn’t see how I adored you So close… so close and yet so far… Yeah, we got a great big convoy, rockin’ through the night Yeah, we got a great big convoy, ain’t she a beautiful sight? C’mon and join our convoy, ain’t nuthin gonna get in our way We gonna roll this truckin’ convoy across the USA! Convoy…convoy… Well, the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon When you comin’ home? Son, I don’t know when But we’ll get together then… you know we’ll have a good time then… Reunited and it feels so good… I’ve got some hot stuff, baby… Love you inside and out You can ring my bell… ring my bell! Bad girls (toot toot… beep beep!) Talkin’ 'bout some bad girls I think I want to live the sporty life! Good times! Muh…muh…muh…my Sharona! Sad eyes, turn the other way Don’t stop 'til you get enough… You have to believe we are magic, nothing can stand in our way… Sailing, takes me away… Upside down, boy you turn me… And another one bites the dust! Whew. 🙂 - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/115 "2002-04-03T22:51:08Z")
A B C , It’s easy as 1 2 3 , as simple as do re mi, A B C, 1 2 3 baby you and me girl. A B C it’s easy, it’s like counting up to 3 singing simple melodies that’s how easy love can be singing simple melodies 1 2 3 baby you and me. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/116 "2002-04-03T22:54:39Z")
Ben, the two of us need look no more We both found what we were looking for With a friend to call my own I’ll never be alone And you my friend will see You’ve got a friend in me Ben, you’re always running here and there You feel you’re not wanted anywhere If you ever look behind And don’t like what you find There’s something you should know You’ve got a place to go I used to say I and me Now it’s us Now it’s we I used to say I and me Now it’s us Now it’s we Ben, most people would turn you away I don’t listen to a word they say They don’t see you as I do I wish they would try to I’m sure they’d think again If they had a friend like Ben Like Ben Like Ben :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/117 "2002-04-03T23:10:45Z")
As the snow flies On a cold and gray Chicago mornin’ A poor little baby child is born In the ghetto And his mama cries cause if there’s one thing that she don’t need it’s another hungry mouth to feed In the ghetto… ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/118 "2002-04-03T23:17:43Z")
(yes, I DO need to find work) Life is a rock Garden Party Chick-a-boom Billy, Don’t be a Hero Chevy Van Rice is Nice Jean The Night Chicago Died Master Jack Which way you Going, Billy Incense and Peppermint Last Song It Never Rains in California One Tin Soldier (Butterfly, my butterfly though I know you must be free Butterfly Don’t flutter by Stay a little while with me) \* Suzanne Midnight at the Oasis Seasons in the Sun (I like black and white (Dreaming black and white) You like black and white Run run away See the cameleon (Lying there in the sun) All thanks to everyone Run run away, hey!) Green Tambourine The Rain, the Park, and Other Things (S, K, O O B, Y, D, O O Oh oh Oh oh ) W-O-L-D Never Been to Me Mac Arthur Park Don’t Pull Your Love Run Joey Run Indian Reservation Happy Together Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves Brand New Key Breakin’ Up is Hard to Do Running Bear Feelings Dancing in the Moonlight You Light Up My Life Heartbeat - Its a Lovebeat Sylvia’s Mother Rhinestone Cowboy Afternoon Delight They’re Coming to Take Me Away The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia 98.6 Mister Factory I’ve Gotta Get a Message to You One Bad Apple Ariel Yummy Yummy Yummy Ballad of the Green Berets (threatened) Magic Mandy New York Mining Disaster 1941 Indiana Wants Me Candyman (I’m gonna kill your mother Your father too then I’m coming back to waste you. You’re whole family’s gonna die I’m gonna send 'em up to the spirit in the sky) \* In the Year 2525 Woman of Mine The ‘Song’ Song Thank God, I’m A Country Boy Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) The Green, Green Grass of Home Blue Water Line Angie Baby Delta Dawn I Never Promised You a Rose Garden Dead Puppies Patches Shannon Teen Angel Wildfire Senator Everett Dirkson’s “Gallant Men” Mr. Jaws The Streak (threatened) Convoy Purple People Eater Paper Roses Spiders and Snakes Kung Fu Fighting In the Playground In My Mind Tell Laura I Love Her Escape (The Pina Colada Song) Marsha Strassman’s “Flower Children” (ask Fenris) Puppy Love Dead Skunk Muskrat Love Brandy Sweet Gypsy Rose We’ll Meet Again You Always Hurt the One You Love Tie a Yellow Ribbon Knock Three Times Ride, Captain, Ride Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is Angel of the Morning Ringo Nnnnn Bottles of Beer Honey Wichita Lineman Undercover Angel Precious and Few Tie Me Kangaroo Down In the Year of the Cat Little Red Riding Hood By the Time I Get to Phoenix I Wouldn’t Want to be Like You United We Stand Dead Man’s Curve De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da Sky High Up Against The Wall Redneck Mother (You’re) Having My Baby Tonight You Are An Asshole Nice To Be With You I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing My Eyes Adored You Cat’s in the Cradle Reunited My Sharona (others may have been embedded here - ask Bricker) Another One Bites the Dust A, B, C Ben In the Ghetto - - un-googleble ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/119 "2002-04-03T23:48:09Z")
Short people got no reason To live They got little hands Little eyes They walk around Tellin’ great big lies They got little noses And tiny little teeth They wear platform shoes On their nasty little feet {Refrain} Well, I don’t want no short people Don’t want no short people Don’t want no short people 'Round here Rot in Hell Randy Newman ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/120 "2002-04-04T00:19:53Z")
As the midnight moon, was drifting through The lazy sway of the trees I saw the look in your eyes, lookin’ into mine Seeing what you wanted to see Darlin’ don’t say a word, cause I already heard What your body’s sayin’ to mine. You’re tired of fast moves You’ve got a slow groove… On your mind. You want a man with a slow hand. You want a lover with an easy touch. You want somebody who will spend some time. Not come and go in a heated rush. You want somebody who will understand When it comes to love, You want a slow hand. On shadowed ground, with no one around And a blanket of stars in our eyes. We are drifting free, like two lost leaves On the crazy wind of the night. Darlin’, don’t say a word, ‘cause I already heard What your body’s sayin’ to mine. If you want it all night Baby it’s alright We got the time 'Cause you got a man with a slow hand. You got a lover with an easy touch. You found somebody who will spend some time Not come and go in a heated rush. You found somebody who will understand When it comes to love, You want a slow hand. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975.md?page=7)