# If life is a rock and the radio rolls me... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 30, 2002, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975 "2002-03-30T22:52:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/121 "2002-04-04T00:37:53Z")
The list is the **40 Most Awful US and UK Chart Hits of All Time** … if you want a cite, the book’s called “The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Lists” by Karl Shaw. It has _Tell Laura I Love Her_ at #12, _Mandy_ at #13, _Macarthur Park_ at #19, _Teen Angel_ at #29, and _Kung Fu Fighting_ at #40. In regards to all the songs that have been posted (thanks, **happyheathen** for the update!), I know almost none of them personally, but I’m sure I can play! (and I can hardly be accused of dating myself, since I’m only 25!) Let’s get together, yeah yeah yeah Why don’t you and I combine? Let’s get together, what do you say? We can have a swinging time We’d be a crazy team Why don’t we make a scene? Together, oh oh oh oh Let’s get together, yeah yeah yeah Think of all that we could share Let’s get together, everyday Every way and everywhere And though we haven’t got a lot We could be sharing all we’ve got Together Oh! I really think you’re swell Uh huh! We really ring the bell Oo wee! And if you stick with me Nothing could be greater, say ‘hey alligator’ Let’s get together, yeah yeah yeah Two is twice as nice as one Let’s get together, right away We’ll be having twice the fun And you can always count on me A gruesome twosome we will be Let’s get together, yeah yeah yeah! [sub]“Let’s Get Together” by Hayley Mills; #22 on list[/sub] [sub]for the 1961 movie _The Parent Trap_[/sub] [sub]personally, I think Hayley should have gotten herself a better lyric songwriter[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/122 "2002-04-04T00:53:19Z")
If your list does not include ‘You Light Up My Life’, you may wish to find another source. I do, however, look forward to seeing what your list thinks tops ‘Tell Laura I Love Her’… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/123 "2002-04-04T00:55:12Z")
_Come on everybody, there’s a song that we’re singing_ _Come on get HAPPY!_ for all you Partridge fans out there… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/124 "2002-04-04T01:04:03Z")
And! I! Think! it’s! Gonna! Be! a! Long! Long! Time! Till! Touchdown! Brings! Me! Round! to! find! I’m! Not! The! Man! They! Think! I! am! At! All! Oh! No! No! No! I’m! A! Rocket! Man! “Rocket Man” as sung by **William Shatner** with **Bernie Taupin.** Top that. b. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/125 "2002-04-04T01:16:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*For that matter I’ve **played** a lot of these songs. Not as a DJ…with a guitar! > \*\* So YOU’RE the one! ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/126 "2002-04-04T01:24:04Z")
An ode to masturbation. The phrase TMI was invented for this song. I Touch Myself by The Divinyls I love myself I want you to love me When I’m feeling down I want you above me I search myself I want you to find me I forget myself I want you to remind me I don´t want anybody else When I think about you I touch myself I don’t want anybody else Oh no, oh no, oh no You´re the one who makes me happy honey You´re the sun who makes me shine When you´re around I´m always laughing I want to make you mine I close my eyes And see you before me Think I would die If you were to ignore me A fool could see Just how much I adore you I get down on my knees I’d do anything for you I don’t want anybody else When I think about you I touch myself I don’t want anybody else Oh no, oh no, oh no Unsubtle, tacky and kinda gross, but with a catchy tune. It was obviously destined to be a minor hit Fenris ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/127 "2002-04-04T01:48:33Z")
I see your puny ‘I Touch Myself’ and raise you: “Sodomy” (_Hair_, 1968, RCA) Sodomy, fellatio, cunnilingus, pederasty, Father, why do these words sound so nasty? Masturbation can be fun. Join the holy orgy kama sutra, everyone. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/128 "2002-04-04T02:46:19Z")
**HAIR** Gimme head with hair Long beautiful hair Shining, gleaming, Streaming, flaxen, waxen Give me down to there hair Shoulder length or longer hair Here baby, there mama Everywhere daddy daddy Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair Grow it, show it Long as I can grow it My hair I can let it fly in the breeze And get caught in the trees Give a home for the fleas in my hair A home for fleas A hive for the buzzing bees A nest for birds There ain’t no words For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder Of my… Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair Grow it, show it Long as I can grow it My hair I want it long, straight and curly, fuzzy Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty Oily, greasy, fleecy Shining, steaming, gleaming Flaxen, waxen Knotted, polka-dotted Twisted, beaded, braided Powdered, flowered, and confettied Mangled, tangled, spangled And spaghetti! Oh say can you see My eyes if you can Then my hair’s too short Down to here Down to there Down to there Down to where It stops by itself Don’t never have to cut 'Cause it stops by itself Oh, gimme head with hair Long beautiful hair Shining, gleaming, Streaming, flaxen, waxen And won’t you give me down to there hair Shoulder length or longer hair Here baby, there mama Everywhere daddy daddy Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair Grow it, show it Long as I can grow it My hair ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/129 "2002-04-04T02:59:16Z")
Last Kiss (J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers) We were out on a date in my daddy’s car We haven’t driven very far there in the road,straight ahead The car was stalled; the engine was dead I couldn’t stop,so I swerved to the right I’ll never forget the sound that night The screamin’ tires The bustin’ glass The painful scream that I heard last Oh where oh where can my baby be The lord took her away from me She’s gone to heaven so I’ve got to be good So I can see my baby when I leave this world When I woke up The rain was pouring down There were people standing all around Something warm falling through my eyes But somehow I found,my baby that night I lifted her head She looked at me and said Hold me darlin’ for a little while I held her close I kissed her our last kiss I found the love that I knew I had missed Now she’s gone even though I hold her tight I lost my love, my life that night Where, oh, where can my baby be? The lord took her away from me She’s gone to heaven, so I’ve got to be good So I can see my baby when I leave this world. ---
**Author:** ![strangecurrencies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@strangecurrencies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/strangecurrencies)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/130 "2002-04-04T04:39:15Z")
_strangecurrencies_ made a funny in his post. nobody validated him by telling him what a clever fella he was. Now you all must **pay** … “You are a child of the universe…no less than the moon and the stars, you have a right to be here…” ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/131 "2002-04-04T05:34:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by happyheathen \* > \*\*If your list does not include ‘You Light Up My Life’, you may wish to find another source. > > I do, however, look forward to seeing what your list thinks tops ‘Tell Laura I Love Her’… > > 🆒 \*\* Well, the list regrettably does not include “You Light Up My Life”… but this is what the book says about the list: > [@](#): > > As voted by nearly 300 people in the music business, mostly local and national DJs and writers in the UK and the US, who were invited to disclose their own personal most hated Top Ten singles. For the purposes of this list, a “hit” single is defined as anything which made the charts of both pf the two biggest English-speaking singles markets – America and the UK – and entered the Top 40 of at least one of them. So, [Bhappyheathen]\*\*, “You Light Up My Life” could have made the list if it was a Top 50 or Top 60 list. I’m assuming there wasn’t enough space in the book or something. Since you asked for it, this is what tops “Tell Laura I Love Her”: (or should I just give you the whole list? maybe so… ) [list=1] [li]_Long Haired Lover From Liverpool_, by Little Jimmy Osmond (1972)[/li][li]_Dominique_, by The Singing Nun (1963)[/li][li]_Teddy Bear_, by Red Sovine (1981)[/li][li]_Deck of Cards_, by Wink Martindale (1959)[/li][li]_Disco Duck (Part 1)_, by Rick Dees and his Cast of Idiots (1976)[/li][li]_The Streak_, by Ray Stevens (1974)[/li][li]_Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree_, by Dawn (featuring Tony Orlando) (1973)[/li][li]_Convoy_, by C.W. McCall (1976)[/li][li]\*[Sugar, Sugar/i], by The Archies (1969)[/li][li]_My Ding-A-Ling_, by Chuck Berry (1972)[/li][li]_Coward of the County_, by Kenny Rogers (1980)[/li][li]_Tell Laura I Love Her_, by Ray Peterson (1960)[/li][li]_Mandy_, by Barry Manilow (1975)[/li][li]_Je T’Aime… Moi Non Plus_, by Jane Birkin and Serge Gainsbourg (1969)[/li][li]_I Think I Love You_, by the Partridge Family (1970)[/li][li]_Honey_, by Bobby Goldsboro (1968)[/li][li]_Annie’s Song_, by John Denver (1974)[/li][li]_Release Me_, by Engelbert Humperdinck (1967)[/li][li]_Macarthur Park_, by Richard Harris (1968)[/li][li]_Do The Clam_, by Elvis Presley (1965)[/li][li]_Mull of Kintyre_, by Paul McCartney & Wings (1977)[/li][li]_Let’s Get Together_, by Hayley Mills (1961)[/li][li]_Living Next Door To Alice_, by Smokie (1976)[/li][li]_Stand By Your Man_, by Tammy Wynette (1975)[/li][li]_Puppy Love_, by Donny Osmond (1972)[/li][li]_Float On_, by The Floaters (1977)[/li][li]_Save Your Kisses For Me_, by the Brotherhood of Man (1976)[/li][li]_Wand’rin’ Star_, by Lee Marvin (1970)[/li][li]_Teen Angel_, by Mark Dinning (1960)[/li][li]_Yummy, Yummy, Yummy_, by Ohio Express (1968)[/li][li]_Rivers of Babylon_/ _Brown Girl In The Ring_, by Boney M. (1976)[/li][li]_No Charge_, by J.J. Barrie (1976)[/li][li]_My Way_, by Elvis Presley (1977)[/li][li]_In The Navy_, by the Village People (1979)[/li][li]_Gimme Dat Ding_, by The Pipkins (1970)[/li][li]_The Laughing Gnome_, by David Bowie (1973)[/li][li]_We Are The World_, by USA For Africa (1985)[/li][li]_If_, by Telly Savalas (1975)[/li][li]_Ringo_, by Lorne Greene (1964)[/li][li]_Kung-Fu Fighting_, by Carl Douglas (1974)[/li][/list=1] Not to give anyone else ideas or anything… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/132 "2002-04-04T05:47:04Z")
I should really preview before submitting anything, but on this computer, it’s likely to have the connection time out on me! Mods, could you please fix my coding? Thanks! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/133 "2002-04-04T06:09:52Z")
You need a better list (memories of truly horrid songs will come soon enough) 😉 As for the REST of you: If you do not remember it, ignore the list just posted (using it would not only be unethical, but would also make you seem devoid of original thought) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![shell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@shell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shell)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/134 "2002-04-04T06:25:33Z")
See the tree, how big it’s grown but friend, it hasn’t been too long, it wasn’t big I laughed at her and she’d go mad The first day that she planted it, was just a twig… And honey, I miss yooooooooo Kind of like an evil flashback. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/135 "2002-04-04T06:44:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by strangecurrencies \* > > “You are a child of the universe…no less than the moon and the stars, you have a right to be here…” "You are a fluke of the universe, you have no right to be here…And whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back… "Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and take what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof… OK, not bad, merely hilarious 😃 ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/136 "2002-04-04T07:25:21Z")
I see we are _Runnin’ on empty_ Maybe someone SHOULD post “Dominique”… :rolleyes: Standing on a corner on Winslow, Arizona Such a fine sight to see It’s a girl, my lord In a flat-bed Ford Slowin’ down to take a look at me… Come on Baaaaby Don’t say maaaaybe Gotta know if your sweet love Is going to Saaaave me… ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/137 "2002-04-04T11:03:20Z")
Ladies and Gentlemen of the SDMB: _You didn’t have to love me But you did, but you did, but you did. And I thank you!_ And I thought the worst thing that was going to happen to me was dealing with a rather foolish young co-worker. 🙂 You are sick, evil, and twisted – precisely my kind of people! I also actually like some of these songs. BTW, since no one else seems to have quoted Meatloaf/Jim Steinman yet (although thanks for the Alan Parsons, **Rico** : _I would do anything for love I would do an-ything for lo-ove I would do anything for love But I won’t do that!_ Also (wait, let me get the CD), off of _Midnight at the Lost and Found_: _Where the rubber meets the road Welcome to protection mode. Yes means no means yes means no. Where the rubber meets the road!_ And _I’d lie for you and that’s the truth. Do anything you asked me to. I’d even sell my soul for you I’d do it all for you If you’d just believe in me._ I’m going to be laughing about this thread all day at work! CJ _We could be standin’ at the top of the world Instead of sinkin’ further down in the mud. You and me, just about midnight You and me, just about midnight Someone’s got to draw first blood! Ooh, I got to draw first blood._ ---
**Author:** ![Witch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Witch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Witch)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/138 "2002-04-04T13:37:39Z")
I’m on the top of the world looking down on creation and the only explanation i can find is the love that I’ve found ever since you’ve been around your love’s put me at the top of the world… Long ago, and oh, so far away I fell in love with you before the second show your guitar- - it sounds so sweet and clear but you’re not really here its just the radiooooo Dont you remember you told me you love me babbaaay you said youd be coming back this way again babaaay baby baby baby baby oh baybaaaay I looove you I really do… Why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near? Just like me, they long to be close to you why do stars falldown form the sky everytime- you walk by just like me- they long to be close to you We’ve only just begun to liiiive white lace and promises a kiss for luck and we’re on our way… A little Carpenters fix for the crew 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/139 "2002-04-04T17:26:35Z")
And the award for the GROSSEST lyric ever goes to the Eagles: “I’ve been running down the road, trying to loosen my load…” _Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!_ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![jmpride62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@jmpride62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmpride62)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2002, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975/140 "2002-04-04T18:06:02Z")
Hey lady, you lady cursing at your life You’re a discontented mother and a regimented wife I’ve no doubt you dream about the things you’ll never do But I wish some one had a talked to me like I want to talk to you… Ooh I’ve been to Georgia and California and, anywhere I could run Took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun But I ran out of places and friendly faces Because I had to be free I’ve been to paradise But I’ve never been to me… Please lady, please, lady Don’t just walk away Cause I have this need to tell you why I’m all alone today I can see so much of me Still living in your eyes Won’t you share a part of a weary heart That has lived million lies. Oh I’ve been to Nice and the isle of Greece While I’ve sipped champagne on a yacht I’ve moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo And showed 'em what I’ve got I’ve been undressed by kings, and I’ve seen some things that a woman ain’t supposed to see… I’ve been to paradise, But I’ve never been to me…. Hey, you know what paradise is? It’s a lie A fantasy we create about people and places as we’d like them to be But you know what truth is? It’s that little baby you’re holding It’s that man you fought with this morning The same one you’re going to make love with tonight That’s truth, that’s love. Sometimes I’ve been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete But I…I took the sweet life I never knew I’d be bitter from the sweet I’ve spent my life exploring the subtle whoring That costs too much to be free… hey lady… I’ve been to paradise… But I’ve never been to me… I’ve been to paradise Never been to me * * * And if you feel you must … [http://www.ladyjayes.com/neverbeentome.html](http://www.ladyjayes.com/neverbeentome.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-life-is-a-rock-and-the-radio-rolls-me/100975.md?page=8)