Rap, rap, rap,
They call him the rapper…
Ben, most people would turn you away,
I, don’t listen to the words they say.
They don’t see you as I do,
I wish that they’d try to
yadda yadda yadda
I write the songs that make the whole world sing.
I write the songs of love and special things.
I write the songs that make the young girls cry.
I write the songs, I write the songs.
My home lies deep within you,
and I’ve got my own place in your sole.
Now, when I look out through your eyes,
I’m young again, even though I’m very old.
I write the songs that make the whole world sing.
I write the songs of love and special things.
I write the songs that make the young girls cry.
I write the songs, I write the songs.
Realizing you (characterizations deleted) couldn’t be expected to READ the thread, co I create a nice little list of songs-to-date.
What happens!!!???
Duplicates!
“Honey” has been done
“I’ve Never Been to Me” has been done
“Ben” has been done
RICO -
Your Eagles line is from Take It Easy. ALREADY DONE!
OK - that’s it! No more lists for you! Go ahead and LOOK foolish, see if I care!!
ahem…
I knew a man
That I did not care for
And then one day,
This man gave me a call
We sat and talked
About what was on our minds
And now this man,
He is a friend of mine…
Reach out in the Darkness,
Reach out in the Darkness,
Reach out in the Darkness,
And you might find a friiiiend…
ROTFLMAO - that must qualify as the world’s best typo. How appropriate for Barry Manilow to be sharing space with old chewing gum and dog shit!
But Rosie you’re all right – you wear my ring
When you hold me tight – Rosie that’s my thing
When you turn out the light – I’ve got to hand it to me
Looks like it’s me and you again tonight Rosiiiie…
WITCH -
Thanks for the Carpenters… I think…
Please come to Boston for the springtime,
I’m stayin’ with some friends and they’ve got lots of room
You can sell your paintings on the sidewalk…
Song sung blue everybody knows one
Song sung blue every garden grows one
Me and you are subject to the blues now and then
Oh when you take the blues and make a song
Good lord You sing em out again Sing em out again
Song sung blue weeping like a willow
Song sung blue sleeping on my pillow
Funny thing but you can’t sing it with a cry in your voice
And before you know it starts to feeling good
you simply got no choice you simply got no choice
[strained singing]
When you get caught
betweeeeen the mooon and New York Ciity
You know it’s crazy
but it’s truuue.
If you get caught
between the moon and New York Ciiiiiiiiity
The best that you can do
(the best that you can do!)
Is fallallall in loooooooove!
[/strained singing]
The love between the two of us was dyin’
And it got so bad i knew I had to leave
But halfway down that highway when I turned around I saw
My little daughter runnin’ after me
Sayin’
“Daddy don’t you walk so fast
Daddy don’t you walk so fast
Daddy slow down some, ‘cause you’re makin’ me run
Daddy don’t you walk so fast”
Of course, it’s just not the same without the cheesy orchestration and overwrought vocal stylings of Wayne Newton.
Wayne Newton?
That was cruel
Brother bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime
His sister had another, she paid it for a lime.
She put the lime in the coconut, and drank them both up
She put the lime in the coconut, and drank them both up
She put the lime in the coconut,
Called the doctor, woke him up, and said,
“Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take,
I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?
I say, Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take,
I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?”
"Now let me get this straight;
You put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up
You put the lime in the coconut, you drank them both up
You put the lime in the coconut,
called your doctor, woke him up, and said,
‘Doctor, ain’t there nothing I can take,
I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?
I say, Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take,
I say, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?’
You put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both down,
You put the lime in the cocount, you’re such a silly woman!
Put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both together,
Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning."
I want you
I need you
But there ain’t no way
I’m ever gonna love you
Now don’t be sad
'Cause wo outta three ain’t baaad…
hey, rico, i knew that was ‘ariel’. and i knew it was dean freidman too. happy heathen, you rule.
i gotta couple. cant believe this one hasnt been mentioned.
sometimes when we touch
the honesty’s too much
and i have to hide my eyes, aaaaand cry
i wanna hold you til i die
til we both break down and cry
i wanna hold you
til the fear in me subsiiiidesssss…
second worstest song ever, eclipsed only by ‘seasons in the sun’, which coincidentally was written by the unholy duo of jacques brel and rod mckuen. (insert astonished-face smiley)
here’s another nod to the great one, frankie valli.
oh what a night
late december back in 63
what a very special time for me
i remember, what a night
(four seasons) dooo doo doo DOO DOO, dooo doo doo DOO DOO
oh what a night
though i didnt even know her name
i was never gonna be the same
what a lady, what a night
stop me before i kill again.
Interestingly enough the subject of bad songs came up at work today. One of my co-workers remembered a song about “Timothy” which he believed was a cat, and two boys that got trapped in a cave.
We found the song, and it’s by Rupert Holmes, who must be the king of bad song lyrics. After reading the lyrics, I’m not so sure that Timothy was a cat…
I give you “Timothy”
Trapped in a mine that had caved in
And everyone knows the only ones left
Were Joe and me and Tim
When they broke through to pull us free
The only ones left to tell the tale
Were Joe and me
Chorus 1:
Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go?
Timothy, Timothy, God why don’t I know?
Verse 2:
Hungry as hell no food to eat
And Joe said that he would sell his soul
For just a piece of meat
Water enough to drink for two
And Joe said to me, “I’ll take a swig
And then there’s some for you.”
Chorus 2:
Timothy, Timothy, Joe was looking at you
Timothy, Timothy, God what did we do?
Verse 3:
I must have blacked out just around then
'Cause the very next thing that I could see
Was the light of the day again
My stomach was full as it could be
And nobody ever got around
To finding Timothy
AHEM: My post simply was a new category - grossest song line ever…I realized “Take It Easy” had already been done…
Meanwhile, back at the Bad Lyrics ranch…
We’re so sorry Uncle Albert
We’re so sorry if we caused you any pain
We’re so sorry Uncle Albert
But there’s no one left at home and I believe I’m gonna rain
We’re so sorry but we haven’t done a thing all day
We’re so sorry Uncle Albert
But if anything should happen, we’ll be sure to give a ring
We’re so sorry Uncle Albert
But we haven’t done a bloody thing all day
We’re so sorry Uncle Albert
But the kettle’s on the boil, and we’re so easily called away
Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah
Hands across the water, water, hands across the sky
Hands across the water, water, hands across the sky
Admiral Halsey notified me
He had to have a berth or he couldn’t get to sea
I had another look and I had a cup of tea
And a butter pie
Butter pie? The butter wouldn’t melt so they put it in a pie
Hands across the water, water, heads across the sky
Hands across the water, water, heads across the sky
Live a little, be a gypsy, get around, get around
Get your feet up off the ground, live a little, get around
Live a little, be a gypsy, get around, get around
Get your feet up off the ground, live a little, get around
Hands across the water, water, heads across the sky
Hands across the water, water, heads across the sky
:rolleyes:
[sarcasm] essvee, thanks SO much for posting that bit from Dan Hill! [/sarcasm]
Now all I can think of is my sister’s rendition of it… yes, she likes adult-contemporary songs! Luckily, she hasn’t done that one for me, our brother, or assorted friends of ours in a long time!
Unfortunately, I have nothing more to add to this thread at this time. Perhaps that’s a good thing, considering…
you are forgiven for ‘Delta Dawn’ - great stuff!
but, for the masses who are cursed to always remember:
BIG BAD JOHN
Jimmy Dean
Big John
Big John
Every morning at the mine you could see him arrive
He stood six-foot-six and weighed two-forty-five
Kinda broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip
Everybody knew you didn’t give no lip to Big John
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
Nobody seemed to know where John called home
He just drifted into town and stayed all alone
He didn’t say much, kinda quiet and shy
If ya spoke at all, ya just said hi to Big John
Somebody said he came from New Orleans
Where he got in a fight o’er a cajun queen
And a crashin’ blow from a huge right hand
Sent a Lousianna fella to the promised land, Big John
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
Then came the day at the bottom of the mine
When a timber cracked and men started cryin’
Miners were prayin’ and hearts beat fast
And everybody thought they’d breathed their last, 'cept John
Through the dust and the smoke of this man-made hell
Walked a giant of a man that the miners knew well
Grabbed the saggin’ timber and gave out with a groan
And like a giant oak tree, just stood there alone, Big John
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
And with all of his strength he gave a mighty shove
Then a miner yelled out, there’s a light up above
And twenty men scrambled from a would-be grave
now there’s only one left down there to save, Big John
With jacks and timbers they started back down
Then came that rumble way down in the ground
As smoke and gas belched outta the mine
Everybody knew it was the end of the line for Big John
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
Now, they never re-opened that worthless pit
They just placed a marble stand in front of it
These few words are written on that stand,
At the bottom of this mine lies one Hell of a man, Big John
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
If the memory of that bad Wayne Newton song didn’t stop you people, perhaps THIS will:
I Wish I Was Your Friend and Not Your Wife
You’re with your friends each night
While home alone my teardrops fall
You’re having such a good time you don’t take time to call
I seldom see you anymore it’s such a lonely life
I wish I was your friend and not your wife
I wish I was your friend how happy I could be
To have you call me every night
And want to be with me
You’d always take me with you, I could share your other life
I wish I was your friend and not your wife
The children hardly know you, they just see you now and then
They call you “Mister Daddy” when you come walking in
To think you’d rather be with friends cuts us like a knife
I wish I was your friend and not your wife…
Lyrics by the late great Harlan Howard
Sung in 1968 by the amazing Miss Wanda Jackson.
Included here for the ridiculousness of the lyrics, but listen to Wanda sing it and I guarantee that you will cry.
Tracytron over and out.
happyheathen, you asked for it:
*Domini-que, ni-que, ni-que, nique
Over the land he walks along
And sings a little song
Never asking for reward,
He just talks about the Lord
He just talks about the Lord.
Domini-que, ni-que, ni-que, nique
Dah-dah-dah-dah tout simplement
Routier, pavrier et chantant
Entout chemins entout lout
Il ne parle que du bon Dieu
Il ne parle que du bon Dieu*
Also, since this got stuck in my head yesterday morning after reading this thread, I give you the all too mortal Richie Valens
*Par balinar La Bamba,
Par balinar La Bamba,
Tu nececitas una poca de gracia.
Una poca de gracia por qui sen es, (?)
Por qui sen es,
Por qui sen es.
Ba-ba-bamba
Ba-ba bamba.
Yo no soy marinero
Yo no soy marinero, soy capitan,
Soy capitan
Soy capitan
Ba-ba-bamba
Ba-ba bamba.
*
My translation:
*To dance the Bamba
To dance the Bamba
You only need a little grace
A little grace ?
Ba-ba-bamba, etc.
I am not a sailor
I am not a sailor, I am the captain
I am the captain
I am the captain
Ba-ba-bamba, *etc.
I’m taking the 5th on how I know Dominique, but I have played and sung it. I apologize for the bad translation. BTW, I’m not afraid to use 99 Red Ballons.
CJ
She lost her youth,
and she lost her Tony,
now she’s LOST HER MIND!
At the Copa- Copacabana…
Johnny get an-ger-ee
Johnny get mad!
Give me the biggest lecture I’ve ever had!
I want a brave man,
I want a cave man!
Johnny, show me that you care,
Really care,
For me.
Jooooohnnnyyy…
Little deuce coupe, you don’t know,
You don’t know what I got…
these are titles. do not have the stomach to look up the actual lyrics.
‘Drop Kick Me Jesus, Through the Field Goal of Life’
‘You Must Think My Bed’s a Bus Stop, the Way You Come and Go’
(collected from truck-stop jukeboxes c. 1974)