# If New York City is destroyed, what will the headlines say? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2021, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394 "2021-12-21T03:14:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/21 "2021-12-21T04:48:39Z")
You win the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/22 "2021-12-21T04:49:07Z")
_Newark Star-Ledger_ (Real Estate Section) - “Now Available - Beach Front Property with Unobstructed View of Long Island.” ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/23 "2021-12-21T04:55:06Z")
_Kanye West_ - “Yo Anderson, Imma let you finish this breaking news report, but Yucatán Peninsula had one of the best meteors of all time.” ---
**Author:** ![flurb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@flurb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flurb)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/24 "2021-12-21T05:00:20Z")
> [@Thing.Fish](#): > > You win the thread. Nah, if I’d taken more time I would have come up with “LORD TO CITY: DROP DEAD”. That only changes one letter! ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/25 "2021-12-21T05:02:43Z")
I don’t know if the OP wants funny or serious, but since everyone else went funny I’ll go with serious: _ **"New York City Destroyed by Meteor; Massive Casualties, National Guard Mobilized"** _ _WASHINGTON, DC. - A meteor approximately 1,840 meters wide, weighing over three hundred thousand tons, struck New York City yesterday afternoon at 4:37 PM EST, causing widespread devastation across the entire Greater Long Island region. Local and federal authorities report an initial figure of 2 million residents confirmed to be killed, with the estimated death toll projected reach 9 million and possibly even more by the end of the week, NASA and FEMA officials stated._ _Speaking under condition of anonymity, NASA and Department of Defense officials stated that this meteor was “highly anomalous” and was not picked up on any radar or other tracking sources prior to impact. They also stated that it was entirely extraterrestrial and had nothing to do with any manmade activity, such as a foreign hostile power. With an estimated impact force of 460 kilotons, the meteor was roughly twenty-three times as powerful as the Nagasaki atomic bomb._ _President Biden has ordered all flags nationwide to be flown at half mast and invoked martial-law, Continuation of Government (COG) emergency measures and mobilized National Guard regulars and reservists from all 50 states to the New York City region._ ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/26 "2021-12-21T05:03:15Z")
Alien influence takes the jobs of millions…some right wing rag. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/27 "2021-12-21T05:07:01Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > I’ll go with serious: > > _ **“New York City Destroyed by Meteor; Massive Casualties, National Guard Mobilized”** _ > WASHINGTON, DC. - A meteor approximately 1,840 meters wide struck New York City yesterday If you’re going serious - a report about an object that size striking anywhere in North America is not coming from anywhere in North America. (And we need to get down to the serious business of nitpicking meteor vs meteorite vs asteroid.) ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/28 "2021-12-21T05:19:49Z")
_Twitter_ - 🌠 👽?😲 😲 😲☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ ☠ 😢 😢 #I ❤NY #NeverForget ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/29 "2021-12-21T05:23:51Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > (And we need to get down to the serious business of nitpicking meteor vs meteorite vs asteroid.) Warning: If you attempt to do that, I will change the premise to “If Mister Mxyzptlk throws a giant rock and New York City is destroyed…” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/30 "2021-12-21T05:33:20Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > “If Mister Mxyzptlk throws a giant rock and New York City is destroyed…” _The Daily Planet_ - “Last phone booth in Metropolis finally decommissioned”. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/31 "2021-12-21T05:48:13Z")
_San Francisco Chronicle_ - “It’s Official: San Francisco is The City” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/32 "2021-12-21T05:49:00Z")
_Showbiz:_ “_The Phantom of the Opera_ ends its 33-year Broadway run” ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/33 "2021-12-21T05:57:15Z")
Fox News: Marjorie Taylor Green: “Hoax Crater is Dem Diversion.” ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/34 "2021-12-21T06:01:12Z")
The Sun: “24 bucks for this dump?” More detail on page 3 under photo of girl with big norks. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/35 "2021-12-21T06:05:23Z")
_Christianity Today_ - “God Back On Track With Destruction Of Gays After Last 7 Major Disasters Accidentally Hit Most Devout Parts Of U.S.” ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/36 "2021-12-21T09:51:20Z")
New York Times: “9 million casualties. Deaths among women, LGTB ,and POC are disproportionate.”. ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/37 "2021-12-21T10:05:32Z")
UK Daily Mail: NEW YORK DISASTER Fifteen Brits, including two children, died in a meteor strike on New York City. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/38 "2021-12-21T10:47:36Z")
Variety: “Chicago Now First City” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/39 "2021-12-21T10:58:46Z")
The _New Yorker_ (which got the hell out of town after advance warning): “How to Think About the Risks of Asteroids” The _New York Times_: "                             " ---
**Author:** ![RunSilent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@RunSilent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RunSilent)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/40 "2021-12-21T11:09:59Z")
Mad Magazine: “What - Me Worry?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394.md?page=3)