# If New York City is destroyed, what will the headlines say? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2021, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394 "2021-12-21T03:14:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/41 "2021-12-21T14:35:57Z")
_National Enquirer_: NY woman weds two-headed Elvis clone. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/42 "2021-12-21T14:46:09Z")
_Skeptical Inquirer_: Men In Black out of business? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/43 "2021-12-21T15:01:01Z")
_Jihad Journal_ - “Infidel Shortage Leads To Rise In Popularity Of Quilting” ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/44 "2021-12-21T15:09:07Z")
More like “Knicks Playoff Hopes Unchanged” ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/45 "2021-12-21T15:17:32Z")
Fox: “GOP Share of NY State Voters Surges!” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/46 "2021-12-21T15:19:34Z")
I’m thinking the city’s eponymous theme song might have to change the lyrics _If you can make it there,_ _You won’t be anywhere…_ ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/47 "2021-12-21T15:32:21Z")
Psychology Today: The old “in a New York minute” line to demand that we hurry in our lives, is no more, so learn to relax… ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/48 "2021-12-21T15:48:40Z")
Star Ledger (New Jersey): NEW YORK INFLUENCE GONE: STATUE OF LIBERTY FINALLY TURNED TO FACE US ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/49 "2021-12-21T15:57:14Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > If you’re going serious - a report about an object that size striking anywhere in North America is not coming from anywhere in North America. For that matter, references to the federal response should probably be to “President Cardona”, or something, not “President Biden”. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/50 "2021-12-21T16:12:23Z")
_NASA News Briefing_ - “We Tried To Warn You” More money has been spent by humans on making _movies_ about apocalyptic asteroid impacts than on detection and research into asteroid impact avoidance. > **[Asteroid impact avoidance](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asteroid_impact_avoidance)** > > Pages for logged out editors learn more > > Asteroid impact avoidance comprises the methods by which near-Earth objects (NEO) on a potential collision course with Earth could be diverted away, preventing destructive impact events. An impact by a sufficiently large asteroid or other NEOs would cause, depending on its impact location, massive tsunamis or multiple firestorms, and an impact winter caused by the sunlight-blocking effect of large quantities of pulverized rock dust and other debri... ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/51 "2021-12-21T16:23:09Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > _NRA Monthly_ - “Unconstitutional Gun Legislation Left NY Populace Defenseless” How many people firing AR 15s at an incoming meteor would it take to deflect it? And how bad would the devastation from so many guns firing at once be? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/52 "2021-12-21T16:30:58Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > How many people firing AR 15s at an incoming meteor would it take to deflect it? _Exactly._ We need at least 10 each. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/53 "2021-12-21T17:23:46Z")
Fox News - _New York Times Lays Off Massive Amount Of Staff_ ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/54 "2021-12-21T18:21:08Z")
Action Comics - _Why the World Needs Superman_ ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/55 "2021-12-21T18:56:04Z")
Stevenage Gazette (UK) - **NY Disaster** … read our **exclusive** interview with mother of next-door neighbor of cousin of man who once lived there for 6 months. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/56 "2021-12-21T19:20:31Z")
You Tube: Recomended Video #1 - [Why Billionaire’s Row Is Now Completely Empty](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wehsz38P74g) #2 - [Kitties!](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=kitties) ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/57 "2021-12-21T19:40:27Z")
_YouTube_ recommended videos continued - #3 _Corey’s World_ - "What’s going on guys, I’m Corey from Corey’s World, and today I’m going to teach you how to bury yourself deep enough to survive the initial shockwave. In part two, I’ll talk about what preparations you should be making for the upcoming mass extinction. Before we get started, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button to my channel, Corey’s World. And check out my other videos, like how to remove your own appendix in a post-apocalyptic dystopia. " ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/58 "2021-12-21T20:26:45Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > _NASA News Briefing_ - “We Tried To Warn You” > **[Don't Look Up](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don%27t_Look_Up_(2021_film))** > > Don't Look Up is a 2021 American apocalyptic political satire black comedy film written, co-produced, and directed by Adam McKay from a story he co-wrote with David Sirota. It stars an ensemble cast featuring Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Rob Morgan, Jonah Hill, Mark Rylance, Tyler Perry, Timothée Chalamet, Ron Perlman, Ariana Grande, Kid Cudi, Himesh Patel, Melanie Lynskey, Cate Blanchett, and Meryl Streep. The film tells the story of two astronomers attempting to warn humanity about ... ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/59 "2021-12-21T21:12:22Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > _NASA News Briefing_ - “We Tried To Warn You” Would it be “We tried to warn you” or would it be [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/rX7wtNOkuHo/hqdefault.jpg "Nelson") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX7wtNOkuHo) ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2021, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394/60 "2021-12-21T21:15:49Z")
Hmm, this site flags “headlinese” as incomplete sentences. LAST AUTHENTIC NEW YORK CHEESECAKE TAKEN DOWN FROM EBAY AUCTION. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-new-york-city-is-destroyed-what-will-the-headlines-say/956394.md?page=4)