# If one more person says/asks this, I'll scream (add your own) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590 "2001-05-26T15:34:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/41 "2001-05-26T20:53:03Z")
> [@](#): > > **"Wow, does the rug match the drapes?"** Again, Nimrod. None of your damned business. Yes, I’m a natural redhead, and NO you can’t see. \*\* Do women with blond or dark hair ever get asked this sort of thing? I haven’t heard any non-redheads complain about it, so is there something wrong with some men’s(Usually. I know one person asked by a woman) brains that makes them think it’s ok to ask a redhead this? Maybe we ought to retaliate by asking them if their penises are as small as we assume they are, and can we see if we’re right? ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/42 "2001-05-26T21:17:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > **"Wow, does the rug match the drapes?"** Again, Nimrod. None of your damned business. Yes, I’m a natural redhead, and NO you can’t see. \*\* > > Do women with blond or dark hair ever get asked this sort of thing? I haven’t heard any non-redheads complain about it, so is there something wrong with some men’s(Usually. I know one person asked by a woman) brains that makes them think it’s ok to ask a redhead this? Maybe we ought to retaliate by asking them if their penises are as small as we assume they are, and can we see if we’re right? \*\* I must confess, I asked a male friend the same question. But he asked ME first! Ginger ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Zero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Saint\_Zero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Zero)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/43 "2001-05-26T21:39:21Z")
Oh yeah! I have a very simple, easy to spell, five letter last name. It’s from the english language, Britan, to be exact, and it’s not uncommon. It’s not as bad as Smith or Jones, but you’ve heard of it. I do not have a speech impediment, english is my first and favorite language, I speak very clearly, I have just enough southern accent to make women weak in the knees in two countries, and people can otherwise understand me. **But if I have to spell my last name again, I’m going to start impaling these moronic pigloving assholes!** ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/44 "2001-05-26T21:41:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > **"Wow, does the rug match the drapes?"** Again, Nimrod. None of your damned business. Yes, I’m a natural redhead, and NO you can’t see. \*\* > > Do women with blond or dark hair ever get asked this sort of thing?\*\* Yes. I’m blonde and I get asked that a lot. I’d understand it if I had baby-blonde hair, the type that looks like it comes from a bottle, but I have a _dark_ blonde hair. Of course, the people who ask me are usually either high school freshmen or high school dropouts with skanky goatees\* and dirty, sweat-stained t-shirts with the sleeves torn off. It must be that type. [sub][sup]\* Not all goatees are skanky. I’m fond of goatees. But these guys have the skanky kind. YOu know, looks like iron filings being held on by a combination of dirt and sweat…[/sub][/sup] ---
**Author:** ![milroyj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@milroyj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/milroyj)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/45 "2001-05-26T21:45:32Z")
> [@](#): > > -“Man, you’ve got some **big feet/hands**!” > Don’t EVEN think about asking the question that’s on your mind right now. Big shoes and big gloves? D&R… ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/46 "2001-05-26T21:51:01Z")
**You know those cigarettes can kill you?** What? Smoking isn’t good for me? I’ve never heard that before! Why doesn’t anybody tell me these things? In 10 years of smoking you’re the first person to point that out, because you see I’ve been living in a crevasse at the bottom of a lake for the past 20 years, only surfacing to enjoy a nicotine-laden smoky-treat. Thank you, kind person! Thank you! Mostly after people see pics of me from when I was in the Air Force - **Wow, you’ve really let yourself go.** Fuck off. And after you’ve done that, fuck off again. My knees are fucked up from a car accident. It’s not easy to stay in shape when your knees scream at you if you walk more than a half mile, not to mention jogging for any considerable distance. Plus, 30 of the extra 40 lbs I’m carrying came from when I gave up cigarettes cold turkey for 6 months. Ironically, I got out of shape trying to get _healthier_. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/47 "2001-05-26T21:52:34Z")
\*\*Saint Zero \*\* _I have a very simple, easy to spell, five letter last name._ I hear you! I seem to have the same problem with my easy-to-spell 5-letter last name. And if I look at any phone book, I find that **my** spelling appears more often than the spelling everybody wants to use. * * * And… _“Wow, does the rug match the drapes?”_ … _Do women with blond or dark hair ever get asked this sort of thing?_ And on a related hijack… Do **bald** women ever get asked this sort of thing? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/48 "2001-05-26T21:54:28Z")
My personal favorite: **Wow, I’ve never met a JEW before** Well you inbred, toothless ass, I think you have! It’s not like we walk around going, ‘Hi, Miss Creant…Jew! Great to meet you!’ And we stopped wearing those little yellow stars YEARS ago. They were getting us killed! (very few people get that line, but it amuses the hell out of me) **So what do Jews do on Christmas/do you celebrate Christmas** I used to just tell people we had Chinese and went to a movie, but I got bored. Now I tell them, 'First we have a human infant sacrifice and then dance naked outside under the full moon, and then we go for Chinese and a movie! ;j ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/49 "2001-05-26T21:57:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miss Creant \* > **So what do Jews do on Christmas/do you celebrate Christmas** > I used to just tell people we had Chinese and went to a movie, but I got bored. Now I tell them, 'First we have a human infant sacrifice and then dance naked outside under the full moon, and then we go for Chinese and a movie! > ;j > \*\* Sheeit, that’s what us Canadians do when your American backs are turned! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/50 "2001-05-26T22:33:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by milroyj \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > -“Man, you’ve got some **big feet/hands**!” > > Don’t EVEN think about asking the question that’s on your mind right now. > > Big shoes and big gloves? > > D&R… > \*\* Not only that, big socks, long shoelaces, and, according to the GrizzWife, I’ve got a HUGE… …wait for it… Sense of Humor! ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/51 "2001-05-26T22:58:53Z")
You know, until I read this thread, I had no idea that there was a racist stereotype about Mississippians… Seriously. More questions… **You look really smart with the glasses and the teeth, are you?** I KNOW I’m ugly, and no, not all ugly people are smart. Or nice, for that matter, so steer clear of me. **Can you see without your glasses?** Why yes, as a matter of fact I can. If I was blind, no glasses would help me, now would they? Can I see clearly? NO, or else i wouldn’t need the glasses. Can I see well enough to operate? Yes, to a limited extent, thanks for being clear. **Are you and [insert girl I happen to be friends with here] going out?** No, and notice how I haven’t even touched her for the last half hour? Yeah, and the fact that that guy with his arm around her has been kissing her for that whole time kinda throws that idea out the window. _Upon hearing I’m in Tae Kwondo:_ **Ohh? So you could beat me up really easily, right?** Uh, I’m a white belt, fruitloop, and even if I was a high enough belt, they teach you the kind of responsibility that comes with the knowledge. I’d only hurt you if you attacked me. More to come, later. ---
**Author:** ![Tzel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Tzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzel)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/52 "2001-05-26T23:08:14Z")
**Hey Joe, what do you know?** I know I’ve been hearing this question since before I could walk, and I still haven’t come up with a clever or interesting answer for it, so how 'bout giving it a rest? And no, I refuse to respond, “My flowers won’t grow.” ---
**Author:** ![gadgetgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@gadgetgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gadgetgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/53 "2001-05-26T23:55:35Z")
Upon hearing that my last name is Barker: “Is your Dad Bob Barker?” Well, actually he Bob Barker, not THE Bob Barker, but A Bob Barker none the less. or “Come on Down!” Wow, no really, you are the first person to make that joke, wow, you are so clever. ---
**Author:** ![dodge\_this](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@dodge\_this](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dodge_this)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2001, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/54 "2001-05-26T23:58:57Z")
There are lots I can share, some I’ve mentioned a few months ago in the Stupid Questions Hall of Fame thread on the SDMB. Other things that have been said to me IRL, no kidding… **On seeing my Chinese face and my European name** “Is this really your name?” _No I made it up. I’m such a Euro-snob. I want to be different from all you single-syllabled-Chinese-named people._ Proceeds to pronounce my name, fails to do so and then _laughs_ and says “Haha, I can’t pronounce it, never mind. You Eurasians have such difficult names…” _It’s not difficult. You just can’t be bothered to learn._ **On hearing me speak** “You speak very good English…for a Chinese.” _I know that’s supposed to be a compliment. But in this day and age, I don’t think it’s something that you need to point out. Tact, please._ **On finding out that I am gay** “Why do you hate men?” _I don’t hate men. I can appreciate a nice or good-looking guy. I just don’t fancy sleeping with him. Is that so hard to believe?_ “So you’re in it just for the sex” _Yes. Here’s my photo which you can now flash to your neighbours. Lesbian on the loose! Hurry, lock up your daughters!_ ---
**Author:** ![jane\_says](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jane\_says](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jane_says)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/55 "2001-05-27T00:03:52Z")
No, shitknocker, they’re not. See how one is about three inches taller than the other? And how one has blue eyes and the other has brown eyes? And one has stick-straight hair, and the other curly? Just a couple of visual clues. Many people refuse to accept that my daughters are not identical twins, even after I answer in the negative. “Really? They sure look like it to me.” You know, maybe you’re right! I suppose I must have given birth to twins but forgot all about it. We’ve been asked so often that both of them, ages 3 and 4, say “No, we’re thirteen months apart” when someone asks. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/56 "2001-05-27T00:12:53Z")
Me being a Senior in high school and graduating on Wednesday, I’ve gotten this lovely question since August 2001: **So…what are you doing after high school?** Like you really care. You’re just making small talk, and plus, you’ve already ASKED that question. The worst part is, is that I ask the same question to my peers for small talk. Sometimes I am such a hypocrite it makes my teeth hurt. As sad as it is, I’ve actually refused to go to little parties next door because I know that I’ll be asked that question by adults I haven’t seen in awhile. Or, a few months ago, **Are you going to prom?** Shit, you’d think the world was ending when I told them no. “Oh my God!!! You aren’t! Why not?!” Ugh. Like totally. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/57 "2001-05-27T00:14:50Z")
Besides the **Wow, are you sure you’re 45?** question I always get (Duh, I dunno … let me check my birth ceritficate again), well, let’s face facts, I have a rather off-the-wall IRL personality, my musical tastes are a little bizarre, and the only thing people can think of to say in reaction to it all is **Gee, man … you must have done a ton of drugs when you were younger!** No, dipshit … in fact I never did drugs at all except for trying pot once at a midnight madness showing of “And Now For Something Completely Different.” It make me sick and I had to leave early and go lay down in the van while my brother stayed for the rest of the show. But why is it that anyone with any different kind of thought patterns than the normal is automatically assumes to be on drugs? Can’t anyone just be different? ---
**Author:** ![AndYrAStar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@AndYrAStar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndYrAStar)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/58 "2001-05-27T00:16:06Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve gotten this lovely question since August 2001 _Oh?_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/59 "2001-05-27T00:17:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dodge\_this \* > \*\*“So you’re in it just for the sex” > _Yes. Here’s my photo which you can now flash to your neighbours. Lesbian on the loose! Hurry, lock up your daughters!_ \*\* Little do they know that we have lockpicks. [sub]Mbwahahahaha.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590/60 "2001-05-27T00:19:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\*…Can’t anyone just be different? \*\* No! Dammit! Conform!! Different is BAD! _ahem_ Sorry, channelling my grandfather there… Yeah, the one that gave me the f\*$@# red hair. Ginger [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-one-more-person-says-asks-this-ill-scream-add-your-own/66590.md?page=4)