# If only there had been a comma... (Man killed by alligator) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2015, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406 "2015-07-06T18:05:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/1 "2015-07-06T18:05:59Z")
[NO SWIMMING ALLIGATORS](http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/04/us/texas-alligator-attack/index.html) To be fair to the dead guy, the sign _did_ say there were no alligators swimming. OTOH, I doubt he’d have paid attention even if it dad have a comma. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/2 "2015-07-06T18:07:27Z")
Or perhaps a colon. And an exclamation point. And the word “Duh”. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/3 "2015-07-06T18:10:28Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Or perhaps a colon. And an exclamation point. And the word “Duh”. You are correct. A comma would only tell the alligators not to swim. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/4 "2015-07-06T18:13:27Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > You are correct. A comma would only tell the alligators not to swim. :smack: But had the alligators read and abided by the warning, the effect would have been the same. The water would have been alligator-free. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/5 "2015-07-06T18:20:44Z")
I prefer… NO! SWIMMING ALLIGATORS! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/6 "2015-07-06T18:27:53Z")
His last words were apparently [“Fuck that alligator!”](http://gawker.com/fuck-that-alligator-man-killed-seconds-after-mocking-1715887134) Apparently the gator was hungrier than it was horny. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/7 "2015-07-06T18:44:01Z")
Well, maybe it could have said 'No, Swimming Alligators" Just in case anybody wondered whether they were swimming, or dancing, or bungee cording… although, if they’re dancing, it’s really the leaping hippos in tutus you gotta watch out for. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/8 "2015-07-06T19:01:16Z")
From the article: > [@](#): > > Orange County Justice of the Peace Rodney Price told CNN affiliate KFDM that Woodward ignored verbal warnings and a posted “No Swimming Alligators” sign and seemed to mock the deadly creatures before going in the water. > > “He removed his shirt, removed his billfold … someone shouted a warning and he said ‘blank the alligators’ and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help,” Price said. Reminds me of the [Saturday Night Live](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/94/94tpolarbear.phtml) sketch where Farley, Sandler & Co jump one by one into the bear pit at the zoo. “Bet you I can swim twice around the moat! AAUUUGGHHH!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/9 "2015-07-06T19:11:47Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > His last words were apparently [“Fuck that alligator!”](http://gawker.com/fuck-that-alligator-man-killed-seconds-after-mocking-1715887134) > > Apparently the gator was hungrier than it was horny. This is why Texas needs to outlaw bestiality. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/10 "2015-07-06T19:16:23Z")
_“… jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help…”_ Good luck with that. I suppose there are some occupational hazards with being from the _Show me_ state. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/11 "2015-07-06T19:16:24Z")
“I immediately regret this decision!” ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/12 "2015-07-06T19:20:01Z")
ninja’ed… I guess there aren’t many sheep in that part of Texas. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/13 "2015-07-06T19:47:07Z")
Well, none that think they can swim… ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/14 "2015-07-06T20:00:01Z")
How about “Alligators! NO SWIMMING!”. Even better: “If you enter this water you will be attacked by alligators within seconds!” Or: “Volunteers Needed for Alligator Food.” ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/15 "2015-07-06T20:01:45Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > _“… jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help…”_ > > Good luck with that. > > I suppose there are some occupational hazards with being from the _Show me_ state. Yeah, so I’m in the Show-Me state, and it isn’t Texas. It is, however, the state with the most starting All-Star players (and would have been even without the Cardinal’s contingent). ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/16 "2015-07-06T20:35:55Z")
Didn’t we just have this thread somewhere? ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/17 "2015-07-06T20:37:11Z")
Although the incident happened in Texas, the guy who made an entry in the Darwin Awards was from St. Louis. As far as last words go, “Fuck That Alligator!” is fairly descriptive. You don’t need a lot more information to figure out what happened. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/18 "2015-07-06T20:41:16Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > Didn’t we just have this thread somewhere? The hamsters ate it. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/19 "2015-07-06T20:44:02Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > Yeah, so I’m in the Show-Me state, and it isn’t Texas. It is, however, the state with the most starting All-Star players (and would have been even without the Cardinal’s contingent). I guess you missed the part in the article about the dead guy recently moving to TX from St. Louis. I’m a former Show-me too, and MO rednecks aren’t that different from TX rednecks. Their accent is better; their common sense isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/20 "2015-07-06T20:57:06Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I guess you missed the part in the article about the dead guy recently moving to TX from St. Louis. > > I’m a former Show-me too, and MO rednecks aren’t that different from TX rednecks. Their accent is better; their common sense isn’t. I did indeed. I always thought that the St. Louis styled themselves as more Eastern sophisticates then the rubes in the rest of the state, but I guess not all them. In passing, one of my sons actually uttered the phrase “Here, hold my beer” (what are the last four words a redneck says?) just before doing something stupid with fireworks (no damage to body or property, as it turned out). don’t really think of the family as redneck, but the boy is trying to prove me wrong [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406.md?page=2)