# If only there had been a comma... (Man killed by alligator) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2015, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406 "2015-07-06T18:05:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/21 "2015-07-06T21:00:04Z")
NO SWIMMING ALLIGATORS I think the sign says you’re not allowed to take your pet alligators out for a swim there. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/22 "2015-07-06T21:14:28Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > [NO SWIMMING ALLIGATORS](http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/04/us/texas-alligator-attack/index.html) > > To be fair to the dead guy, the sign _did_ say there were no alligators swimming. OTOH, I doubt he’d have paid attention even if it dad have a comma. It’s like “[Stop clubbing, baby seals](http://cheezburger.com/5812988928)” but not as funny. Or maybe more funny, if you can disregard the loss of life. (Like, you value natural selection more than the average person.) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/23 "2015-07-06T21:16:03Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > I did indeed. I always thought that the St. Louis styled themselves as more Eastern sophisticates then the rubes in the rest of the state, but I guess not all them. > > In passing, one of my sons actually uttered the phrase “Here, hold my beer” (what are the last four words a redneck says?) just before doing something stupid with fireworks (no damage to body or property, as it turned out). > > don’t really think of the family as redneck, but the boy is trying to prove me wrong St. Louis proper certainly does style itself as eastern & sophisticated. But a great unwashed mass of Yokels live in the adjacent counties. The guys who wrote the article probably rounded “far suburb or small town somewhere near St Louis” to plain old “St. Louis.” e.g. I don’t live in Miami itself and I didn’t grow up in Los Angeles itself, but that’s sure what I tell folks who’re not right near here or there. I’ve saved a couple guys’ lives by tackling them just after they said “Here, hold my beer!” I wasn’t sure what was coming next, but I wanted to stop it for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/24 "2015-07-06T21:18:32Z")
“For the last time! I told you I had to tie my shoe!” ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/25 "2015-07-06T21:33:38Z")
I think it’s weird that the quoted article repeatedly notes how the victim “mocked” the alligators, as if that somehow exacerbated the situation. Maybe the writer believes that gators don’t eat deferential swimmers. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/26 "2015-07-06T21:43:26Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > This is why Texas needs to outlaw bestiality. Let’s not be hasty, here. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/27 "2015-07-06T21:44:46Z")
This is the exact sign I saw earlier today, and the exact same line I used on a couple of co-workers, who laughed hysterically and confirmed my present status as Funniest Guy in the Office. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/28 "2015-07-06T21:50:38Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I think it’s weird that the quoted article repeatedly notes how the victim “mocked” the alligators, as if that somehow exacerbated the situation. Maybe the writer believes that gators don’t eat deferential swimmers. It demonstrates that he was aware of the sign and didn’t give a fuck, not that he didn’t see the sign, or didn’t understand it. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/29 "2015-07-06T21:53:27Z")
If that marina had any balls they would sell “Fuck That Alligator” Tshirts. ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/30 "2015-07-06T22:00:22Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I think it’s weird that the quoted article repeatedly notes how the victim “mocked” the alligators, as if that somehow exacerbated the situation. Maybe the writer believes that gators don’t eat deferential swimmers. The alligator didn’t eat the screaming woman in the lagoon with him, maybe because she was deferential. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Abner\_Ravenwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@Abner\_Ravenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abner_Ravenwood)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/31 "2015-07-06T22:07:45Z")
Works on contingency No money down ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/32 "2015-07-06T22:17:36Z")
You have to admit, as Last Words go, “Fuck that alligator!” are kind of…stupid. Really, really stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2015, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/33 "2015-07-06T22:55:11Z")
“In Texas, alligator fucks you!” ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2015, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/34 "2015-07-07T00:14:54Z")
"Honey, I’ll be home a little late tonight, I’m going to drop by the pond and feed the alligators. " ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2015, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/35 "2015-07-07T01:09:24Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > The hamsters ate it. Fuck that hamster! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2015, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/36 "2015-07-07T01:17:44Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Let’s not be hasty, here. So that’s why you aren’t a mod ---- you prefer hipboots to jackboots? 😃 (Well, _someone_ was going to say it sooner or later) ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2015, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/37 "2015-07-07T01:36:31Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > This is why Texas needs to outlaw bestiality. Nope, uh-uh, no way! If you want to keep the dog & cat population down, spay & neuter. If you want to keep the idjit population down, continue to allow them to fuck the alligators. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2015, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/38 "2015-07-07T02:07:55Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > It demonstrates that he was aware of the sign and didn’t give a fuck, not that he didn’t see the sign, or didn’t understand it. He didn’t have time to give a fuck. Perhaps if the alligator had waited a minute, they both could be sharing a cigarette by now. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2015, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/39 "2015-07-07T13:21:55Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > “In Texas, alligator fucks you!” Beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2015, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/40 "2015-07-07T13:32:28Z")
I have a picture of a DANGER ALLIGATORS sign, I believe on the Suwanee River. My kids can be seen playing in water up to their knees in the background. It was a _carefully_ staged shot that I wish I could find. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406.md?page=3)