# If only there had been a comma... (Man killed by alligator) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2015, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406 "2015-07-06T18:05:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/61 "2015-07-08T20:28:17Z")
What about the signs that read: SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING Now, if there was ever a need for a comma, this is it. Should we go slow because children are playing or is that just a public service announcement to let us know that slow children are playing? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/62 "2015-07-08T20:35:12Z")
This could even be an encouragement to hit them here because they’re not fast enough to dodge! ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/63 "2015-07-08T20:44:00Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > This could even be an encouragement to hit them here because they’re not fast enough to dodge! That’s right! I take it as a challenge. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/64 "2015-07-08T20:54:32Z")
to be fair, the alligator might not have been swimming. It may have been floating. Or treading water. Or sinking. Who knows? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/65 "2015-07-08T21:05:00Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > What about the signs that read: > SLOW > > CHILDREN PLAYING > > Now, if there was ever a need for a comma, this is it. Should we go slow because children are playing or is that just a public service announcement to let us know that slow children are playing? Never mind my favorite: "Beware Elderly Pedestrians". Hell’s grannies? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/66 "2015-07-08T21:06:41Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > That’s right! I take it as a challenge. 😉 Dunno if “challenge” is the best term – the sign seems to be saying “Easy Pickings Here” ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/67 "2015-07-08T21:14:11Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I think it’s weird that the quoted article repeatedly notes how the victim “mocked” the alligators, as if that somehow exacerbated the situation. Maybe the writer believes that gators don’t eat deferential swimmers. I think it was the writers way of saying “wow, that guy was really asking for it, huh?”. You have to read between the lines. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/68 "2015-07-08T21:57:34Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > What about the signs that read: > SLOW > > CHILDREN PLAYING > > Now, if there was ever a need for a comma, this is it. Should we go slow because children are playing or is that just a public service announcement to let us know that slow children are playing? The happy news is that the not-too-smart kids have a good job ahead of them. We’ve all see all those “SLOW MEN WORKING” signs haven’t we? What? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2015, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/69 "2015-07-08T23:37:42Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I think it’s weird that the quoted article repeatedly notes how the victim “mocked” the alligators, as if that somehow exacerbated the situation. Maybe the writer believes that gators don’t eat deferential swimmers. Mocking didn’t exacerbate the situation; it was the direct cause and effect of the situation. I used to swim with [these fellows](http://www.adventuresinparenting.me/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/P1020983.jpg) quite often, even late at night skinny dipping with my [chicken hat](https://mattsko.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/chicken-hat.jpg) on, and things always went swimmingly well—and that’s no crock of bull. But, the _one and only_ time I put my hands to my lips and mocked them with my alligator mouth impression, they got all snappy with me and I had to hightail it out of there, pronto. But, relax; I made it out just fine. Not sure what ever happened to my daughter, Hope and dog, Lucky, though. And the sign was obviously supposed to read, _No swimming y’all! I Gator!_ No doubt some Florida Gator fan telling Georgia Bulldog fans to scram. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/70 "2015-07-09T00:20:08Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I believe the term is Alligator-Americans. Gator please! ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/71 "2015-07-09T00:26:12Z")
> [@FXMastermind](#): > > For those who don’t follow stories, the gator was killed. Police are sure it was a revenge killing, since the dead gator was left on the boat ramp. And the good old boys who killed it said it was for revenge. Sigh…this is how the Hatfields and the McCoys got started. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/72 "2015-07-09T00:39:19Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Never mind my favorite: > > "Beware > > Elderly Pedestrians". > > Hell’s grannies? :eek: They aren’t the problem. The real issue is vicious gangs of keep left signs. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/73 "2015-07-09T02:26:00Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Hold my beer and watch this! [Photos](https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/ad_174375425.jpg?quality=80&strip=all&strip=all&w=768&h=576&crop=1) of the [victim,](http://d.ibtimes.co.uk/en/full/1446932/tommie-woodward-alligator-attack-victim.jpg?w=368) [Tommie Woodward](http://ww4.hdnux.com/photos/37/37/57/8256467/3/920x920.jpg), make it less surprising that he met his fate in this way. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/74 "2015-07-09T04:01:49Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Photos of the victim, Tommie Woodward, make it less surprising that he met his fate in this way. I used to think that guys like that were bad-ass. Then I realized [dying is not bad-ass.](http://itsalwayssunny.wikia.com/wiki/Mac_Day) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/75 "2015-07-09T11:56:30Z")
There are half a dozen band names in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/76 "2015-07-09T11:59:33Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > [Photos](https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/ad_174375425.jpg?quality=80&strip=all&strip=all&w=768&h=576&crop=1) of the [victim,](http://d.ibtimes.co.uk/en/full/1446932/tommie-woodward-alligator-attack-victim.jpg?w=368) [Tommie Woodward](http://ww4.hdnux.com/photos/37/37/57/8256467/3/920x920.jpg), make it less surprising that he met his fate in this way. It’s funny. Each of those pictures scream “Future alligator poop!” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/77 "2015-07-09T12:02:02Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > [Photos](https://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/ad_174375425.jpg?quality=80&strip=all&strip=all&w=768&h=576&crop=1) of the [victim,](http://d.ibtimes.co.uk/en/full/1446932/tommie-woodward-alligator-attack-victim.jpg?w=368) [Tommie Woodward](http://ww4.hdnux.com/photos/37/37/57/8256467/3/920x920.jpg), make it less surprising that he met his fate in this way. He’s pretty much exactly how I imagined him, right down to the key chain dangling from his ear. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/78 "2015-07-09T13:46:47Z")
> [@FXMastermind](#): > > For those who don’t follow stories, the gator was killed. Police are sure it was a revenge killing, since the dead gator was left on the boat ramp. And the good old boys who killed it said it was for revenge. I’m not following, how does that effect global warming? ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/79 "2015-07-09T13:47:57Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Gator please! This is easily one of the funniest things I’ve read on these boards in a good long while. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2015, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406/80 "2015-07-09T13:57:51Z")
dasmoocher: > [@](#): > > That sucks. They could have started calling him “Chomper”. I was thinking its name should have been “Darwin”. But I guess those good ol’ boys showed him! ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-only-there-had-been-a-comma-man-killed-by-alligator/724406.md?page=5)