# If real life were more like Porn...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-real-life-were-more-like-porn/76031>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [August 13, 2001, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-real-life-were-more-like-porn/76031 "2001-08-13T14:38:19Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-real-life-were-more-like-porn/76031/81 "2001-08-15T01:19:32Z")

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I’d be forced to grow my fingernails, get implants, make my hair bigger, and buy a big strap-on in accordance to the Rules of Lesbians In Porn.

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**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-real-life-were-more-like-porn/76031/82 "2001-08-15T01:36:08Z")

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-I’d be getting laid every day at the office: some handsome stud would pull me behind the files and do me right there. Or, we’d just say to hell with it and do it right on the front counters.

- I’d have sex with all of my gay friends. Constantly. There’d be no reason NOT to be doing it when we were together.

- I’d not leave the gym for several hours

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**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-real-life-were-more-like-porn/76031/83 "2001-08-15T02:11:18Z")

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Lunchtime at the office might actually happen the way BronzeLion depicted it.

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**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-real-life-were-more-like-porn/76031/84 "2001-08-15T03:03:25Z")

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I was going to say that I would have a real inducement to get back to my fighting weight. After reading Moonshine’s post maybe I should just take my belly, mustache and sandals to Germany. Wie gehts, Liebchen? Which may or may not be German for, “How YOU doinnng, Sweetheart?”

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