# If SETI established workable two-way contact, what would you ask? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 23, 2006, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257 "2006-01-23T16:22:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/21 "2006-01-24T03:31:51Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > Could we send them Don Cheney? While we’re at it we could send them [John Chaney](http://www.owlsports.com/sports/mbball/releases/release.asp?RELEASE_ID=16719) too. God knows they might need a good 2-3 zone D. I’d probably ask them where stood on the whole Bradgelina situation. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/22 "2006-01-24T03:53:54Z")
Did you like the Chuck Berry we sent you? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/23 "2006-01-24T04:06:41Z")
I swear, I came in here to post a Chuck Berry joke. ---
**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/24 "2006-01-24T04:29:42Z")
Are you the guys piloting the UFO’s? ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/25 "2006-01-24T04:30:21Z")
a/s/l please 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/26 "2006-01-24T04:40:36Z")
1. Have you been here before? 2. Are you comming back? 3. Will you bring Pie? ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/27 "2006-01-24T07:36:31Z")
Is Jacko one of yours? On a serious note, I’d probably be more interested in energy sources and scientific knowledge. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/28 "2006-01-24T09:06:10Z")
Energy source questions. I’d also ask if they have great works of literature to share. Or music. Or pictures. What things about themselve are they most proud of. And most ashamed of. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/29 "2006-01-24T09:15:00Z")
“Can you hear me now?” Then after I get slapped for that by the people here on earth… “Do you want fries with that?” Then I’d be clobbered for having such a hackneyed sense of humour. Okay, no. Let’s be honest, I’d probably get on the line, freeze up for a few seconds, then finally say, awed, “W…w… _woooooooow_. This is really cool. I’m talking to an _alien_. I can’t think of anything to say. _You_ take it.” I have a million great (or pretty good) questions in my head right _now_, sure. “Do you believe you were created by a greater power? If so, is it unseen?” (If no, “Can I see it?” 😃 ) “How many leaders do you have?”, “How many countries, if any, and what do you call them?”, “Do you war?”, “Do you feel emotions strongly, or at all?” “Is there famine?” “Are there homeless?” “What do you use for currency/trade?” etc. But when it comes down to it, I’d stammer and pass it on. Or ask, “Do you come in fun size?” Or “All your base are…” ow. Okay, okay, I’m done. _Aliens_. Cool. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/30 "2006-01-24T09:18:44Z")
Great replies, thanks. Questions about science can be relatively easily asked, because they can be built up from basic universal constants, but I’m curious; does anyone have any idea as to how you’d frame a question about religion, art and sociology? ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/31 "2006-01-24T09:42:42Z")
I wouldn’t ask them about free energy until I found out how they deal with “corporations” and no one doing anything unless it involves “profit.” You can bet if we discovered cheap easy cold fusion today by the time “big business” was done with it, it’d still cost $200/month to heat your house in winter. First thing I want to know is, is your society & culture based on business and profit? If not, what do your people do all day? We never got communism to work here. What system do you use? ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/32 "2006-01-24T14:57:29Z")
> [@Amp](#): > > a/s/l please 🙂 Good one. Made me laugh out loud. I would have too many questions about science and religion to ask, most of which have been covered here. But I wouldn’t forget to ask if they’ve figured out teleportation. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/33 "2006-01-24T19:05:29Z")
Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/34 "2006-01-24T19:14:26Z")
“Is this your first time too?” I think I’d ask for their pictures too. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/35 "2006-01-24T19:22:29Z")
When are we gonna [–bleep–]? ---
**Author:** ![Jayrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Jayrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayrot)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/36 "2006-01-24T19:26:36Z")
If I might stir the pot a bit: I find it somewhat disappointing that so many people would squander the opportunity to commincate with an unknown extra-terrestrial being by asking about God and religion. I mean, the concept would be nearly impossible to explain unless they already knew it, and even if they did what kind of questions could it possibly answer. “Many beings on our planet believe that Blorgrak Tozarsd created the planet Gorgot and is responsible for the well-being of all Marklar. However, many others do not believe.” Now what? ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/37 "2006-01-24T23:14:04Z")
How many genders do you have? Do y’all like to party? ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/38 "2006-01-25T00:03:25Z")
I would ask if their government had sent the transmission picked up by SETI, or if it was more like a bunch of alien geeks running Transmission@home stuff on their personal computers. I would also ask if they have pets, and if so, what kind of pets, and also, could I have an alien pet. That’s actually my serious question. I think it would be interesting to find out their views about other life on their world. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/39 "2006-01-25T00:06:44Z")
> [@Jayrot](#): > > I find it somewhat disappointing that so many people would squander the opportunity to commincate with an unknown extra-terrestrial being by asking about God and religion. I mean, the concept would be nearly impossible to explain unless they already knew it, and even if they did what kind of questions could it possibly answer. > > “Many beings on our planet believe that Blorgrak Tozarsd created the planet Gorgot and is responsible for the well-being of all Marklar. However, many others do not believe.” > > Now what? Now, learn earth’s philosophies post-Neanderthal. Theology long ago blew past the god of fire stage. Nothing could be more interesting than a hearty discussion of philosophy and metaphysics with beings whose frame conditions are convergent or shift reflexive. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2006, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257/40 "2006-01-25T00:08:08Z")
> [@Jayrot](#): > > I find it somewhat disappointing that so many people would squander the opportunity to commincate with an unknown extra-terrestrial being by asking about God and religion. I agree. What if they have religion and they’re just as, or even more fanatical about it than some of our religions are? Uh-oh. Big trouble. OTOH, what if they gave up religion 5,000 years ago because it’s dangerous & primitive and all of a sudden they meet us and our first question is “how does your God compare to our God?” Oops, they just cut off communication and there goes our chance at learning about free energy, advanced medicine, etc. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-seti-established-workable-two-way-contact-what-would-you-ask/341257.md?page=3)