# If she cheated on him ... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-she-cheated-on-him/288936 "2005-02-08T03:23:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-she-cheated-on-him/288936/21 "2005-02-08T22:01:28Z")
People do change. If I had met my wife 15 or 20 years ago, I wouldn’t have trusted her as far as I could throw her back then (based on what she has told me). But I met her 3 1/2 years ago, and I trust her completely today. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-she-cheated-on-him/288936/22 "2005-02-08T23:39:58Z")
> [@Canadiangirl](#): > > People who cheat justify it to themselves. If you are not happy, leave the marriage / relationship then date someone. But they put their happiness in front of others. I’m not saying that to be cruel or rude, it’s the truth, in my experience. > > So, any time they view their happiness is not being fulfilled, they will cheat and/or leave and justify it to themselves. > > That’s what I believe. I could not agree more. The damndest bit of it is that the very same person, probably out of the same deep sense of guilt, will continue to blame/punish the person they cheated on for their own misdeed. :mad: WTF?!!! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-she-cheated-on-him/288936/23 "2005-02-09T02:38:44Z")
Sometimes a person will cheat. Usually, after that, they will make a final break off of the original relationship. You can trust these people. Then there are serial cheaters. I doubt your SO is one of those. ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-she-cheated-on-him/288936/24 "2005-02-09T02:59:39Z")
The OP wrote – She left a long marriage (20-some years) to be with me. And though I wasn’t the first guy she was with at the end of her marriage, I was the guy she ended up with. Tonight, though, I was talking to an aquaintance about the last couple of years of my life, and how good things were for me, and how I thought that I found where I should be all along. Out of the blue he said that sentence. “If she cheated on him …” And it made me think. Not that I thought he was right. Not that I thought that he might have something there. I am confident that the Factotrix and I are going to be together from now on. * * * Then leave it at that. Stop worring, wondering, doubting, or whatever it is you want to get from this post. Your friend was out of line. You can not predict what people are going to do now or in the future. But if you let this idea of wondering if she is going to cheat continue, you will make yourself miserable. It doen’t sound like that is the direction you’re headed, but if you are, nip it in the bud and carry on with what sounds like a good relationship for both of you. Jealousy=insecurity. ---
**Author:** ![gruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/57b2e6/32.png) [@gruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gruver)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-she-cheated-on-him/288936/25 "2005-02-09T03:08:42Z")
there was a time when i was constantly cheating on whomever i could find. i had one foot out the door looking for my other options. i never cheated on my son’s father, despite being in an emotionally abusive situation. it just didn’t seem like an option. my longterm relationship after that, i never even dreamed of cheating on. it ended for other reasons, but i had, and still have i believe, reached a point where cheating is more trouble than it is worth. in a nutshell, people can most definitely change. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2005, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-she-cheated-on-him/288936/26 "2005-02-09T05:15:58Z")
That’s true, **Gruvan** , people can change. Maybe that’s why I’ve more commonly heard the expression put as, “If he/she cheated _with_ you, he/she’ll likely cheat _on_ you.” If someone has cheated in their most recent relationship, odds seem pretty darn good they haven’t gotten to the point of changing yet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-she-cheated-on-him/288936.md?page=1)