# If Shirley Ujest had married AskNott... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 16, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766 "2003-05-16T20:28:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![dono](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e0b2c6/32.png) [@dono](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dono)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766/41 "2003-05-18T01:26:49Z")
If **skittles** married **Marianne** \*, divorced her, and married **Uncle Beer** , s/he’d be: **skittles anne Beer** - 3 posts - welcome to the Boards, **Marianne**! If **essvee** decided to go by his/her last initial, married **NinetyWT** , divorced him/her, then married **Quasimodem** , s/he’d be: **vee Ninety modem** If **Slainte** married **Missy2U** , divorced her, married **Antares JB** , divorced him/her, then married **CK Dexter Haven** , she’d be: Wait for it … **Slainte Missy B Haven**! Ouch! Yup, shoulda’ quit while I was ahead. ---
**Author:** ![mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmm.forbidden_doughnut)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766/42 "2003-05-18T01:29:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Otto \* > \*\*Marry me and you can be Quasimotto. > > \*\* Laugh all you want but this was actually my nickname in school (as my maiden name was Motto)! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766/43 "2003-05-18T03:34:28Z")
MMMMMMMMMMMM forbidden donuts and Anal Scuvy \*\*Forbidden Anal \*\* ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766/44 "2003-05-18T03:43:42Z")
If Ida Lupino married Don Ho, she’d be **Idaho**. What a state we’d be in! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nichol\_storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Nichol\_storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nichol_storm)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766/45 "2003-05-18T04:54:53Z")
If I married **Coldfire** , we could name our kid **Cold\_storm**! Sounds like a comic book villain… .:Nichol:. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766/46 "2003-05-18T05:20:29Z")
Here’s one I read somewhere. If Wanda Landowska, the harpsichordist, married Howard Hughes, divorced him and married Henry Kissinger, she’d be Wanda Hughes Kissinger now. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766/47 "2003-05-18T12:53:45Z")
If Kaye Ballard married the astronaut Wally Schirra, divorced him, and married his brother, she’d be: **Kaye Schirra Schirra** I once did a summer internship at CTW publications, and there was a woman there with the last name of Meyer. There was also a man there whose last name was Weiner. They once posed with an Oscar the Grouch doll, so they could have a picture of Oscar/Meyer/Weiner. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766/48 "2003-05-18T12:55:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyDust \* > \*\*If Ida Lupino married Don Ho, she’d be **Idaho**. What a state we’d be in! > > 😃 \*\* If Heidi Fleiss married Don Ho, she’d be Heidi Ho. A name which is as cute as tiny bubbles. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766/49 "2003-05-18T13:44:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Quasimodem \* > **No way can anyone match Quasimodem with any name on SDMB!** Hmmm. I don’t pretend to know everyone on the board, but don’t we have any users named Half Duplex, Full Duplex, DSL or Cable? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*If Penn from Penn and Teller married Scylla > > Then they’d be PennScylla > > That was just awful. \*\* Oh, it gets _much_ worse than that! If Penn is top and **Scylla** is bottom, then we end up with… PennInScylla! 😃 And, I suppose **Honeydew** could marry me, and then she’d be Honey Bear. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766/50 "2003-05-19T00:10:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dono \* > \*\* > > If **Slainte** married **Missy2U** , divorced her, married **Antares JB** , divorced him/her, then married **CK Dexter Haven** , she’d be: > Wait for it … > **Slainte Missy B Haven**! > > Ouch! > Yup, shoulda’ quit while I was ahead. \*\* I hope I get lots of alimony from all these marriages! 😉 [sub] cute one, **dono** [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766/51 "2003-05-21T01:27:46Z")
If **Mr. Cynical** married **Diagones the Cynic** , he’d be redundant. If **Duck Duck Goose** married **Why A Duck** , she’d be **Duck Duck Duck** or, maybe **Duck[sup]3[/sup]** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-shirley-ujest-had-married-asknott/175766.md?page=2)