# If size matters, then I don't want anything to do with it! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 23, 2000, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238 "2000-09-23T03:16:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/1 "2000-09-23T03:16:13Z")
You can thank my local independent newpaper for finding this gem of a site. [Candice must hurt](http://www.naughtypillows.com/store/shop.cgi/page=index.html) This would be a hilarious gift though! \< tehe \> Yeah for independent newspapers! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/2 "2000-09-23T03:19:13Z")
Hey! I’m tryin’ to get over a cold here and laughing sets off coughing fits. Are you trying to kill me? ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/3 "2000-09-23T03:24:43Z")
If someone tries to jit me with one of those in a pillow fight, I’m leaving! ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/4 "2000-09-23T03:27:33Z")
Hmm, why do you think they make them so small? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/5 "2000-09-23T03:29:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xizor \* > \*\*If someone tries to jit me with one of those in a pillow fight, I’m leaving! \*\* It’s illegal to jit during a pillow fight. It’s also illegal to mup, bok and/or lig. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/6 "2000-09-23T03:39:27Z")
The thought briefly flashed through my mind of holding one of those penis pillows like a body pillow while sleeping and I actually felt momentarily nausious. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/7 "2000-09-23T03:55:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rysdad \* > \*\*It’s illegal to jit during a pillow fight. It’s also illegal to mup, bok and/or lig. \*\* OK, I know jit, but you are going to have to explain mup, bok and lig. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/8 "2000-09-23T03:58:33Z")
That’s one big dick…BTW, did you guys read through the site? Read all about Dick Johnson LOL… ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/9 "2000-09-23T04:14:27Z")
Why do you think they keep mentioning easy clean-up? Yech. ---
**Author:** ![Bluemonchichi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@Bluemonchichi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluemonchichi)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/10 "2000-09-23T04:18:31Z")
Oh, my BF bought me one of these for my birthday back in May. They are so cool!!! It is \*really[/]soft and I died laughing when I read the part about it being “scoth-guarded for easy clean up.” I am so glad someone found the site and shared it. It works great in pillow fights. Especially when I tell people I beat my BF up with my big penis. Everyone gets a kick outta that! ---
**Author:** ![2nd\_Law](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/f475e1/32.png) [@2nd\_Law](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2nd_Law)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/11 "2000-09-23T04:19:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Brynda \* > Why do you think they keep mentioning easy clean-up? I noticed they have scotch-guard for easy cleanup on the “bosom buddies” pillows also. And, no, I don’t want to think about what one would need to easily clean up. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/12 "2000-09-23T20:34:26Z")
I saw that easy clean up too, kind of scary if you ask me! LOL ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/13 "2000-09-23T21:38:31Z")
I really liked in the “About Dick” section how he came up with the idea “after several minutes of research.” I think I’ve just found out Dick’s secret–he’s a grad student. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/14 "2000-09-23T22:27:59Z")
Hey, who do you think Mr. Johnson had model for the creation of the penis pillows? That’s right, me! ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/15 "2000-09-23T22:38:11Z")
Hehe, you can choose between creme and cocoa colors. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/16 "2000-09-23T22:43:57Z")
Finally, an alternative to all the heavy lifting. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/17 "2000-09-23T23:16:56Z")
Note to self: Must kick techie’s butt for the thread title. ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2000, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/18 "2000-09-23T23:29:06Z")
Wow, are those life-size?? (Well, excuse ME for being deprived! I think I’ll go run and hide now) ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2000, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/19 "2000-09-24T01:30:26Z")
I want one of those. It might be a useful substitute for the next few months. It could be my temporary pet penis. Plus it’s cute. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238/20 "2000-09-24T02:40:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hypergirl \* > **It might be a useful substitute for the next few months.** No offense hypergirl, but if that thing fits, uhhhhh, I don’t even want to finish that thought. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-size-matters-then-i-dont-want-anything-to-do-with-it/34238.md?page=2)